http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbgF3W_CQrk | ||||
| alex very recently around his 3-month birthday in sofia, bulgaria, living it up |
well lieutenant colonel mark weber that we mentioned recently has passed away..... i think yesterday, before my friday shift, after two shifts, had some time to visualize more for him, either health and healing or just good energy for him and his family, the visualization seemed to go very well with great spiritual concentration levels and no getting side-tracked, good breathing, good passive phase after building the visualization so as to let it soak into the subconscious and then onto the over-soul of us all........ and then immediately after finishing the exercise, there was a post on caringbridge.org saying that weber had died about 45 mins before, that is, a little before that last visualization; this is to say that his Soul was busying itself leaving the body at that very time and this process apparently takes hours to complete..... taking American mystic H. Spencer Lewis as a very reliable and credible authority on these matters, as he has studied them in great detail, it seems some clairvoyant people can actually see the soul leaving the body when the lighting is dim and they can see it become perturbed and frustrated when medical attempts are used to prolong its connection to the body which is no longer fit for habitation, furthermore, weighing the body immediately after death reveals that a very slight difference of weight is perceivable, it's a very slight weight, almost nothing, apparently maybe this is some kind of proto-plasm or something like that connected with the soul......... apparently shuffling off the mortal coil for the soul is not a matter of 20 minutes but a matter of hours, and even when the task is complete the soul is compelled to linger 'on the earth plane' and console the bereaved loved ones (although sometimes people die forgotten and unloved)
Spencer Lewis has said that the souls of people that suicide go through tremendous suffering immediately after death, it seems that though they are free of the bio-chemical realities of brain chemistry they were suffering (and of the brain itself), like low dopamine, low seratonin (something psychiatrists today treat with certain medications and anti-depressants), according to Spencer Lewis, the souls feel great pain and suffering at the realization after the mortal coil shuffling of the wrongness of what they did........ what is wrong about suicide, when you look at the economy of Life is that for a human life a woman must go through a great deal suffering and sacrifice to produce a baby, sometimes the baby is lost and this is a cause of more suffering for the women...... for those of us who never appreciate what a great thing it is women are doing for all of us by loving life enough and trusting in the goodness of everything enough to create a baby, and going through the difficulty of it all and then loving it and nurturing it, we really come to appreciate them a lot more when we see them do that, and as men, it uplifts us to see them do this and makes us respect them much more.......... then the childhood is a very long period and a time where many adults make sacrifices for their children, always cherishing what they believe are their children's best wishes (except in the case of incompetence through sickness or stupidity or misadventure) and then, after all of this, for the soul to suicide is really a sin........... actually i suffered a tremendous amount of depression in my life....... many times, in the depths of these depressions i often thought about suicide........ even after i thought i had mastered all of the problems and overcome them, through more stupidity or naivety, i found i had 'bought' or invited or caused such difficult conditions that again, depression became a reality and from there it's a short walk to suicidal ideation......... obviously, where there's pain and suffering, there's a dollar to be made, and there's nothing wrong with making a dollar, especially if it can alleviate pain and suffering.... for people experiencing depression, the very best thing to do, even better than drugs, is to take a line of real action that involves something that will alleviate the depression: if living in bulgaria drives you mad to the point of deep depression, then leave! don't return........... if being alone all day makes you feel bad, go and spend some time cheering up the incarcerated, or the elderly, or working at a food bank or doing voluntary work for the poor........... sometimes people can just be plain thick as a wooden log, and not know any better and continue banging their head against the wall doing the wrong thing, i have most definitely had this problem in life myself...........
suicide is now such a big problem for the united states army that General Lloyd J. Austin III at snail mail address 1400 Defense Pentagon Washington DC 20301-1400 (try panhandling outside those offices!) remarks:
"Suicide is the toughest enemy I have faced in my 37 years in the Army," said Gen. Lloyd J. Austin III, the Army's vice chief of staff, who is spearheading his service's efforts to find ways to halt the surge in suicides.
As someone who has struggled with depression and many times felt the urge to suicide, even, as mentioned, after believing with very good reason that i had completely destroyed the dragon of whatever stupid conditions i found overwhelmed me and which caused my suffering; even after believing with good reason i had crushed this enemy, i found, through my own stupidity and optimism and naivety and even good will, that it was possible to stumble, and fall over, and become stuck in a quagmire and again succumb to terrible conditions which produce the undesired feelings and suffering and then onto inevitable suicidal ideation..... now i have learnt my lesson double-good and if again i should face some terrible circumstances that would bring me to my knees like someone raping my wife and child and chopping my fingers off for good measure, this would be a good reason for my to succumb to despair and begin ideating suicide......... however at least if some hopeless tragedy should befall me, i will not help bring it on by my own stupidity so easily...... this means i will reap every last sheath of happiness i can, before i experience more misery, which i would think, will surely end up befalling me at some point in the future, even if not in this particular lifetime............ often suffering is one of the best thing the soul can use for advancement, also, many times, suffering is brought about due to changes in realities for the soul, possibly through rebirth, or because of death, or because of some other soul's death, or any number of things that cause pain and suffering, even just falling over physically can cause decades of pain and suffering, if you have a bad fall, you can end up using crutches for decades and losing mobility of the legs and then experience pain and suffering in the body just as a result on one lousy unfortunate accident
this is why it's important not to cause other people's suffering......... should we then not have police and armies so that nobody is caused to suffer due to them executing their duties which sometimes involves killing people?..... of course not, because then organized crime and injustices and chaos would prevail......... inevitably, soldiers and police that kill people in the line of their duties end up feeling stress in many cases which can even lead to suicides and depressions as is currently happening now in the u.s. army......... with the u.s. army, the main thing for them is to know and execute the exact right amount of force.... too much force will lead to high depressions amongst themselves if they cause too much suffering to others, conversely, not enough force can lead to more chaos and disorder as was the case when clinton ordered a few cruise missiles at the taliban but the american military/govt. failed to decapitate the taliban/bin laden junta immediately prior to 9/11 when the opportunity was available (bush didn't either).... and then in a democracy it becomes difficult to do anything as everybody has different ideas and everybody has a career and a nice future to protect and as there's no dictatorship, it's hard to say..........well actually, H. Spencer Lewis, going back to the 'horse's mouth' as they say, once described the american presidency as a 'moderate dictatorship' and this is actually true and exactly why american presidents end up with grey hair before the end of their first term and everyone knows it, it seems they are carrying the proverbial weight of the world on their shoulders........ with obama, as president, he most definitely could have made different choices about syria years ago, it's an awesome responsibility, the pain and suffering in syria is very real and it's a case now of too little force from the u.s. military.... and it's not even the military's fault, ultimately, as they are at the command of the u.s. president, who, in turn, is chosen by the voters.... the american voters have thought, well iraq was a long war, let's avoid war for a while, vote for obama, this is bad policy: too little force.......... alot of what happened in iraq and vietnam was also too much force.......... i'm not qualified to second guess everything the u.s. military does, but i can recall one time in bulgaria, before i started watching american football in earnest, which was actually a year or so ago here in australia for the first time; i started watching a few football maneuvers, one guy was explaining something called a 'stutter step' you run at the defensive lineman and do a stutter step which tricks him as he doesn't know which way you will run and where to commit himself to apply force..... this is strategy, and it goes to show, you can have a mighty army but apply very small amounts of pressure here and there, sometimes just a presence, without any overt pressure, like a block.......... talking about this, at the alexander the great museum exhibition recently, there was a whole little section dedicated to a blockade alexander ran or rather, had run for him, on a little island somewhere probably in the Mediterranean, it was something that was a backburner issue for alexander, he probably was busy with a million other things and had people reporting to him about it now and then and telling them what to do, there was some island under siege and a naval blockade went into effect, it lasted years perhaps and finally the city fell and alexander probably had the city razed to the ground in a cruel way
changing topics, tonite my bff murphy and i hit the town to paint it red, first we went to my former acting school, billy, the guru teacher there who studied with the famous american acting teacher stanford meisner in nyc, looked noticeably greyer, i showed off some photos of alex (see above) to him, before that i had the opportunity with murphy to try out the new little hole-in-the-wall bar that is on the corner of redfern street and regent street near redfern station in sydney..... across the road (at 125a redfern street in 1999) from there i shared the apartment with matt the double bass player (who is apparently the 5th best orchestral double base player in the world now - bully for him).... the bar was excellent and has that melbourne style that makes melbourne so much more superior to sydney for socializing at nite........ then on to the theatre, two of the players were in my beginner class in late 2009.......... i have the highest respect for thespians and their trade-craft however often i just bitch and moan about it on this blog probably because i am jealous of them but also because it pleases me to bitch like a little bitch on my blog bitchily bitchin', as it were.......... however i also think many of them are just plain stupid-arses in real life, however, the principal of theater is rock-solid sound...... this is to say, the greatest actors might not be those that achieve the most fame or wealth or in-your-face success, but might be those that manage to find a successful balance of real life relationship success in conjunction with ability to successfully perform on stage in a way that is reasonably lucrative for them (eg., enough to support a modest and simple and adequate lifestyle for themselves and their family)..........after the enjoyable hour long show which was a mish-mash of various things, it was back to the bar to play some futbolin there and hang, and then on to another bar where i hoped to catch up with an american buddy from way back in the day, he wasn't there and murphy and i tried the shakespeare hotel for food on devonshire, too late, went on to the white cockatoo in petersham, again too late, so on to ashfield for a kebab, talked to some irish guy there and on to the pole-dancer club to watch the semi-naked women dance around on stage and gyrate their arses....... then drop off murphy in mount druitt and start heading home at around 0200 hours....... on the ride home, got to thinking about weber some more and if his soul could end up being reborn to Monique, e.g., in five years time, Monique was one of the dancers at the club, of course, the likelihood of that is infinitesimally small, and anyway, as shakespeare has hamlet say of the soul's journey in the afterlife: it's like some kind of journey of which no traveller has returned to talk about....... except maybe Lazarus who jesus is said to have raised from the dead.......... and all those people that have near death experiences and see angels........ or whatever........ nitey nite
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