after we had a little chit-chat am feeling comfortable with the guy, having met him first today, however for some reason he was really able to press my buttons prior to that and seemed to realize it (he made a lot of promises he never kept/flakey/distant............. maybe he was too busy with all his big business schemes or sthmg).............. anyway, just want to keep things sweet with him so he doesn't give me a shitty review........ he seemed to understand how annoying it was for me as the first thing he wants to do upon arriving (late after breaking several promises/verbal arrangements) is apologize...... (i was, by that point, ready to pack his bags for him and leave them outside with the screen doors locked and the blinds pulled closed and ready to sms him: take ur bags and leave, no payment needed, please leave key under mat).... .. who wants to hear sob stories? anyway, maybe his problem is that he's a virgo (specifically actually that he was born in the 7th 14th of the year solar year (begins march 20/21) around when most virgos are born) and that he's still unhappy until he finds where he left off in soul evolution from the previous lifetime -- this is an issue for these people, he doesn't seem completely happy.......... still there's no telling what real happiness is anyway.........
played some more x-box with cancer911, charity and weber (on rainbow six 3) but happily benji is too smart to get addicated to that crap -- now reading weber's blog (not the weber from x-box game which is not a real person) - excerpts of his letters to his kids.......... for some reason am feeling captivated by weber's story lately........... haven't really held it under a microscope though............ you realize with the guy that he has gone through and is still going through a lot of physical pain and then it makes you think of all the cancer victims and victims of physical ailments out there, going through tremendous pain and discomfort, even in first world countries with the best standards of medical help and it really makes you realize that good health is the best, number one asset you have going for you........... there's not much out there in terms of philosophy or modern culture that much interests benji (witness the continual benji wailing tirades against nbc today/good mourning america), however the Weber's story is of interest...........
also the weber has been going through this for 2 years so it has given him a unique perspective on 'death' and the meaning of death which is really a change from the old body, to the intermediate stage without a body in heaven, to the new body which is the baby experience that my son is having now and which i cannot share with him now as he is in bulgaria and benji must stay here and make money and if going to europe (as benji will in about six weeks) benji will not go to bulgaria (due to their bad attitudes over there, nothing to do with corruption), and baby will not come to spain -- digressing.......... how must it feel to be dying for 2 years in a row, it would really make you think about alot of things.........
let's talk about the tibetans and the dalai lama.... maybe his first name is tensik, the pretty boy brad pitt is in sydney these days or probably leaving already and he was in some movie 7 years in tibet about the dalai lama and the dalai lama will be in town next weekend, benji will be driving his cab as is habitual on a sunday, and benji does not have money for dalai lama tickets that could be spent on rally car driving or scuba diving, the dalai lama would understand this and probably just give benji a free ticket if possible......... but anyway, let's talk about all that tibetan jazz because that's exactly the first thing they want to talk about is death; your death; and how it fits into your life.............. the tibetans will say alot about it and the bardos (stages) of intermediary life between lifetimes (in heaven) and many things, it's all very interesting and you'll need to get your hands on it, the bottom line here, is that this is all about attachment.... if you are a professional driver and your boss wants you to master the use of as many different cars and racing surfaces and racing conditions and driving conditions as possible; you wouldn't get overly attached to a certain car or a certain navegator you like sitting next to you in the rally car race, not if you knew your boss wanted you to change cars/towns/surfaces/racing conditions or even have you moonlight as a mechanic or become proficient in welding for cars or whatever......... however, attachment in life is common...... it's normal to become attached to things, but then it seems God cruelly snatches them away from us, like a loved one, or whatever..... sometimes it's easy to become so bitter about everything, in fact, people often do and frequently suicide in their bitterness
that's why a wise-man once said: life wasn't meant to be easy........... benji's not sure, as benji's life sure seems happy and easy, however, this is what benji wants and therefore he doesn't toss his happiness and easiness aside in a flippant way as he has gone without so much happiness for so long that he is no longer willing to flippantly throw away simple happiness, small as it may seem
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