last Weber visualization and Weber's illness now

hey, there's a really cool website: caringbridge.org   one of my friend's, the mineola captain of the cheerleading squad girl (a very nice woman), her father the nascar mechanic guy, he's had a bad case of MS for years now and i meant to create a profile for him on caringbridge but i never got round to it..... i guess i should get it done soon.........caringbridge is mostly for americans i guess.... there are only 3 ppl on it now that i know of/am aware of, and actually, one of them, my friend's father, i think he's still not on it yet, it's for ppl with medical issues, so that their friends/family/admirers, etc, can keep track of their condition (Weber's condition below is posted as of four hours ago)........ the other person, also from Minnesota is some girl who had the worst rotten luck you could ever imagine, she accidentally doused the fireplace in a home with too much fuel and the poor girl went up in flames suffering terrible burns and is disfigured for life.... she has an incredibly good attitude and her family and friends are inspirational in how supportive they are of her and how upbeat and positive they are............


You probably all know by the infrequency of Caring Bridge posts that things have not been going well for Mark over the past several weeks. After weekly clinic visits and blood tests with confusing results, we were told yesterday that Mark’s disease has progressed significantly.
Significant swelling brought him into the ER Friday and several tests were run including a CT scan.  A further look at the scan yesterday shows the disease has now spread beyond the liver.  This secondary cancer is known as “Peritoneum Carcinomatosis” – or tumors that line the peritoneum.  The practical implication of this diagnosis is that we are moving strictly to comfort care.  We spent the morning with a Hospice Team, and they will be providing much-needed support for Mark and the family in the weeks to come.
You are surely asking right now – “What does this mean?  How long does he have?”  Mark’s test results have been reviewed by his medical team in MN, as well as his medical team at Dana Farber Cancer Center. Both teams agree that this is what Mark, all along, has referred to as the “end game.”  Today, the Hospice Nurse and medical advisor specifically told us that Mark likely has less than a month to live.


 rl  my last visualization for Weber didn't go well as i was so tired and couldn't concentrate....... starting thinking about this and that and racing thoughts and then the other, then all of a sudden i found myself waking up from sleep because i had semi-yelled, actually it was a very quiet yell, i heard it as it woke me up, fortunately it would not have disturbed the airbnb guy from india......... it was a very mild call out.... however, it is pretty freaky to find yourself waking yourself up due to yelling........ even if it's quiet.........the only other time i can recall this was in late 2002 or probably 2003, was spending 18 months in australia between living in france and china and just living as a recluse/shut-in............ it was probably getting to me, one nite i work up and i was yelling (alot louder, more like almost a scream) -- but in that case i was having a bad dream.... the last visualization thing, it wasn't really a yelling out....just a slight vocal sound.........whatever

even if Weber 'passes through transition' (dies).......... i will still probably visualize a good experience for him in the afterlife and good energy for his family......... if i were dying i would definitely tell my wife to remarry if that's what she wants, i wouldn't have a problem with that..........also, with my wife and our relationship, i could totally handle spending 100 years apart from her, or 1000, or even 20,000 years (or more) - possibly eternity! i'm sure she would understand too! and maybe even feel the same way!