dr phil and ryan seakrest's buddy on 'the talk'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-Eq-VzLaOE (manu chao - bongo bong)

muleheads

you know 'the view' has company right? there are less frumpy ladies out there talking.... if you wake up after 3 hours sleep between taxi shifts, as sleep-deprived as a goat-farmer in guantanamo bay, asking urself with the recuperated part of your brain that you destroyed in your teens and 20s with chronic alcohol abuse: 'wait, we did WHAT with our life dude? THIS is our life????'

see the problem? all this freedom we have in the 'west' is making us stupid, spoilt brats, ready to start tapping a 20 year old hotty at the drop of a hat..........

(insert doogie howser music and montage scene here)

perhaps subconsiously i always saw myself as like a kind of walking praying mantis with a curly head of gorgeous hair on top of it, that's why when i saw ryan seakrest's sidekick for the first time, i could relate; of course from hearing her talk gossip all the time, naturally we figured she was a black lady, maybe from the ghetto like benji's former work-mates in los angeles, but it turns out she's a white mule head..... if benji can get over his complex about being a walking praying mantis, it might be thanks to mule-head's book: what an inspirational read!......... thanks mule-head!!!!

mmmmm, mulehead

and thanks darlene from rozanne just for being you sweetie poops!!!! someone will be sure to want to tap that little caboose of yours at some point, fear not!

will have to post montage of benji running down stairs filmed from the side, you'll be absolutely shocked, extremely creepy.... (added as an amusing afterthought spoken quickly): very possibly creepier than mulehead and her afro voice

oh and asian lady, those chopstick things you people use are so cute so thanks for that

and brook shields: you're definitely fat, you should start  developing a complex about that right now!


now rate benji's manhood:

10 (highest) arnold.............5................0 (lowest) she-bitch with a doodle