normally my cat pudsy slays them outside every few months or so, thing ran under the fridge, giving me a fright and then I totally vaporized under there with cockroach spray, I calculate it's choking to death now and i'll have to check under the fridge tomorrow
anyway shlarts, time for more silly benji meandering stories:
so there I was in downtown LA, like waiting for a bus or something after the homeless shelter, 'new image' had cleared everyone out for the morning..... wearing my typical outfit of a black t-shirt and navy blue army shorts and shoes, probably with no socks, I was at complete and utter peace with the Cosmos........ my mind was like a baby, empty of thought..... zen........ and there were no tears as I did not need to be cuddled or fed like a baby.......... some African American guy from the shelter bitterly remarked that I looked like I was hanging out at the beach, clearly he was jealous of my chilled out state --- obviously that was before I got married --- no married man can ever know peace like that
anyway, rewinding a little, I find myself in northern china near north korea in the wintertime, in tonghua jilin.......... I was walking along with an American girl, sulynn, who was one of a party of about 5 or so non chinese aliens that were working in that small town....... sulynn was actually born in Sydney but lived in seattle and was a law major and fixing on becoming a district attorney or something of this nature ---I was pissed off because she was born in Sydney like me but her prospects and everything were so great and my life seemed to suck balls ---- eventually I got drunk and made my resentment clear by calling her a dirty whore --- then for good measure I ended up, in that drunken state, trying to have sex with the Canadian girl, but she was kind of too fat and I wasn't really into it and was too drunk so I just gave up and went to sleep......... anway, sulynn and I were walking along in the snow and ice one morning, before dirtywhore-gate, when, no lies, I trod on a manhole that had a misplaced lid so my foot lost its purchase and I ended up really hurting my shin like crazy ---- the town had a really cool little restaurant we'd eat at, that was the Canadian girl, sulynn and her American boyfriend (they later split up) and the south African girl, who I have since gone on to visit three times in Auckland, new Zealand, where she now resides........ you could definitely see poverty in that town, it was a real backwater, some people actually lived in shacks and all -- one day, the day the American couple left, the temperature plummeted to like minus 20 degrees celcius, I had never seen anything so cold
anyway, when I was in Arizona I emailed su-lynn's boyfriend of those days and he told me he had some family in Arizona I could visit but I said I would pass ---- I was kind of hoping with this post to convey what it was like spending around two months in Sedona around july 2006, however I don't feel up to it now so maybe will try again some other time
well I guess the first thing to realize was that at the time I was looking for something like some kind of answers or something, so when I had free time, I would go to one of the local bars there and get a beer and write stuff but it was all a bunch of bullshit, I mean probably 100 times more non-sensical than my blogs......... everything is one big fat desert everywhere you go and I never had a car so i'd be walking around all over the place, getting odd jobs like one day I spent the entire day or even more than one day just helping out at a nursery, another day I was helping an African American couple from Mississippi or somewhere like that that just occasionally visited Sedona, maybe we were all working for the nursery that day, like with plants and stuff, I just remember standing in the storage section of the truck and having to lift stuff............ another time I was helping out some landscape gardener with his shit, the guy was young and making a fortune for himself, there's no grass in Sedona, just rocks and pebbles and hardly any trees, it's just a big desert......... some other day I was hitching a ride from some guy I can't even remember.........another night I was walking along one of the few major roads (like there's only one or two) that bisect the town, the guy had the nerve to slow his big arse vehicle down while I was walking along and start making chicken noises thus: begerk, buck, buck ,buck (like how a chicken sounds), I did not hesitate to yell at him: 'go back to your own country dickhead!' which yielded the beneficial result of him speeding off...........
probably the most stability and excellence I achieved in those heady days, really only two months but time I guess is meaningless on a spiritual level, especially in hindsight......... were the cave days........ the cave days involved getting laid in a niche in the rocks for the sake of sleep.........there was a buttress overhead the cave that protected from the rain and the surface for laying on was uneven and uncomfortable however I enjoyed sleeping rough, there was a beautiful little river to bathe in in the morning in lieu of a shower, at night I could hear coyotes howl or something like that sometimes and I have my big arse faggot of wood ready nearby to destroy them at mortal combat if it came to that........ sigh, those were the days..... the sunrise heralded the need to forsake my place in the bosom of nature and after bathing, rise up a steep and stony embankment of large rocks to the freeway.... I often thought of Osama ben laden when climbing up that embankment those mornings as a famous video of him put out in the bogeyman days prior to that always had him kind of climbing around similar kinds of rocks over in Afghanistan, of course he had a walking stick which gave him an edge I guess.......once I got to the freeway it was off to rite-aid pharmacy supermart to work, like clock on around 9am I guess...... if I walked it would take a solid hour --- there was also a supermarketty kind of store nearby I sometimes liked to stop there after work and shop, like a farmer's market or something was the chain's name..........anyway the trick was to get a ride, i'd have to walk for a while and the best days (most convenient) there was some tourguide operator operating some kind of overpriced service for all the wealthy tourists from Germany or wherever that were in town to see stuff on their way in or out from the grand canyon I guess........ the tour guide was always saying the same shpiel everyday about teakettle rock and the same lame jokes, day after day........ obviously I kept my mouth shut and never said anything to portray ingratitude as I really needed that ride....... i'd get dropped at a hotel or somewhere and then just walk around 10 or 15 mintues to rite-aid where i'd buy some noodles for like 20 cents and maybe some bread or something and have breakfast ---- there was always some young American soldier hero kid who'd been to Iraq like twice or something and enjoyed shooting up teenagers with ak-47s there or something --- he certainly was a glorious son of a bitch no question....... there are a lot of weird kind of people in Sedona, many retirees too but a lot of people into crazy new age shit........for example, the only reason i'm even pining for those days and to revisit Sedona now is because of some insanely new agey type from Sedona who I very recently discovered on youtube talking about aliens (greys from zeta reticuli star) that have used her to breed about ten hybrid human/zeta reticuli kids and bla bla bla...........obviously that's a lot for anyone to swallow but her stories are interesting and the backdrop in Sedona is really to die for because that place is just something else........... i'm really missing it there and would love to go spend a month or so there on holiday! or just run away from my family in general and go to mexico and then get into America and go to Sedona, obviously I probably won't do that but i'd sure like to!
anyway, all I have are my memories, another time a very stalwart American fellow, around age 60 I would say, was kind enough to give me a ride with his big yellow truck.... I have no idea why we were out at someone's farm there in the Sedona area, i'm guessing it was Sedona although in hindsight maybe It was flagstaff because the farm had a lot of greenery........... I just remember sitting in the cab of the truck with that guy and him saying something that wasn't meant to be funny but finding it very amusing and laughing anyway...........another time, around the start of the 2 months or so there, some younger type like 47 years old kind of guy gave me a ride, we were maybe working on some project as I was probably standing out with some Mexicans that day waiting to get hired by laborers....... I guess I had lost my belt and was using like some kind of cable for a belt which is somewhat of a hillbilly look I guess and I remember him asking me if I got laid a lot in those shorts..... I didn't answer that question as it was foolish and unworthy of a response.......... another time I was sitting in Sedona library, another place I liked chilling at, I guess they had aircon there and internet......... if people in town knew eachother from sight or regularity or something, I had no idea and didn't care, everyone was respectful and all and anyway it's America and anyone can have a gun so you never know if some nutty is going to shoot the place up so who cares about little bitchy aspects of social life - I mean it's not like in Australia where everyone is a real bitch when it comes to social interactions on a daily basis........people in spain sure aren't bitches like that, I can tell you, when you walk into a bar in spain you say: 'boss, gimme a beer!' you never say please and all that shit like a little English bitch, just saying........... so anyway, I was in the library and the guy sitting next to me asked me what time it was....... there was a guy sitting opposite us like eight yards or so who looks up and I don't even look at my guy sitting next to me but obviously he's asking me because i'm the only guy nearby him and he's not yelling out to everyone randomly like I would do......... anyway I don't have the time and it's not my business to tell him the time by looking for a clock for him so I just keep looking at the guy opposite us who is staring at us anyway and then finally he burps out the time........
so when I first ended up in Sedona it was because the party I was travelling with stole my car with my passports and phone and clothes and stuff so I really only had the clothes on my back and like my Australian driver's license and my fake American social security card and fake resident alien card and really not much else........ the first useful guy on the scene tuned out to be a good friend to me...... he later was telling me how when he was like a little kid like four years old or something he saw some robbers shoot his parents dead in front of him......... at some point I decided to take some of his marijuana without asking him which was just the kind of thing I would do in general over the years, deeply annoying people which I found amusing......... he did not take kindly to it and told me in no uncertain terms that if I did it again we would box......... anyway, this guy, I think his name was james, he was the guy that switched me on to getting a job at rite aid, he'd actually worked there himself he said........... also he showed me where I could get charity food and stuff like that......... even though I had like no money, somehow it seemed I never wanted for anything there.......... james had some funny idea of getting some kind of desert cone stem thing that grew there and covering them with wax and selling them as kind of novelty candles or something, he was quite passionate about it and was making some good money with that......... a lot of people would probably pan-handle around begging people with jobs for money all day long outside for money and make more money like that than I would working at rite-aid or somewhere, I don't know if it's because of how I was raised or what, but I mean my father and brother and sister were all workers when we were all living together in the same house, say around the mid 1990s........ I don't know, I was never one to just beg for money, I don't mind begging for a cigarette or a kiss or sex or marijuana but I never liked to beg for money and I only ever found myself once in life on the street with a cup to beg for money and that was in Dublin Ireland and after some stupid irish bitch and some dumb American bitch conspired to not let me board my flight from Dublin to O'Hare airport in Chicago......... it left me in the same situation as in Sedona: completely broke............ anyway I was walking somewhere one morning, like to rite aid to work or something and I managed to sell one of those candles of james' to some beautiful looking blonde girl from Ukraine, she seemed to like it a lot, I think she was from Ukraine although it could have been Russia, not 100 on that..........
another day I waited what seemed like half an hour or more for a goddam haircut..........the lady hairdresser seemed very happy with my patience though and she did a good job cutting my hair..... another time I was in a bookshop and tried reading some book like bold fresh or something by some guy bill o'reilly that I knew nothing about and never bothered to even watch like one of his shows ever, didn't like his book so just tried reading something else....there were some other incidents -- I guess every little event seems special now in hindsight because of the amazing location of the area........ anyway finally, after two months or so, I figured whatever I could learn from Sedona had been achieved and it was time to leave......... I wrote a sign and sat by a highway and waited for a ride which took around half an hour........ I had a little money, can't remember how much, maybe only $200 or something..... some guy came along and gave me a ride -- we smoked some weed and he brought me to his home and wife -- thank god they didn't try tying me up and raping me with a blowtorch or something -- so I spent the night at their place watching deadwood or something on tv with hubby --- the wife was telling me earlier that day how she'd just lobbed up to town and approached the local businesses for work as a cleaner and was making a good income and was happy --- I couldn't blame either of them for being happy, as the location they lived in was really something else --- a little bit outside of Sedona and the desert, much greener -- very nice to look at........ maybe It was flagstaff already, can't really remember -- anyway I headed to the bus station in flagstaff like the next day and my cell phone that i'd bought in Sedona rang and what a surprise, some phillipino woman in seoul, south korea, that I had recently given money to, she'd called me to talk to me -- not sure how she had my number but maybe I emailed it to her -- can't even remember -- i'm pretty sure we talked for a while --- i'm confused -- like I can vaguely remember her and I going shopping in seoul and buying a jacket that said 'south pole' on it --- somehow I never got into her pants although I would have liked to so I guess she wasn't willing -- can't understand what happened there --- or maybe I wasn't aggressive enough ---- then I seem to remember having that same 'south pole' jacket at the homeless shelter in LA aforementioned which would be my new home for about five months after a few minor pitstops --- I can't remember if I did keep that jacket from seoul all the way through Sedona but certainly a buddy in Sedona gave me a wallet as a present which I still use today and have used it for ten years straight now this winter approaching (in three months time)..... also I bought some Mozart cds in phoenix and i'm sure I still have them around somewhere too
go kill sarastro you stupid whore! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=463jDvbw3LQ
wow look at this lady do it! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOQ7W8-_Ekg
hey this lady has no shame about it, there's even subtitles to explain what the hell she's on about:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFktfr1kmHc
wow even this little girl is in on the conspiracy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF0zePMxxys
wow Gangnam style https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6c9x1pMQlk
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