Monday, May 3, 2021

Wait what????? The first all gay helicopter crew in the u.s. military???? What??????

 

Was watching some of the buzz about a somewhat self obsessed American Intelligence officer starring in a recruitment advertisement about herself when catching The Hill guys saying there's an all gay u.s. army helicopter crew. No way, right?! Shock and awe ¿No? 


https://youtu.be/nZLDHfY7tak


Key questions: when can you take off with Bill Hemmer? Can you all wear matching flak suits? Do they have to be khaki? I mean if it's just going for a joy ride can you just get lattes without khaki making your butt look like it's sticking out? So many questions! Help me answer them! OMG, must call Caitlyn Jenner, can't wait!


Here's a possible CIA recruitment advertisement script targetting white people:


Hi, I'm a white guy that likes to dance to 50 cent but I'm not a wigger. That doesn't mean my full head of hair on my head isn't growing out of my scalp, but I am bold. I'm heterosexual but I'm not a lesbian, sometimes I act gay but I wouldn't rape a lady. You know the only two ladies in Ghostbusters slim enough to consider hot? Not the Wiig lady, but the other one, McKinnon. I'd rape her if it'd help my country coz I'm a patriot, but not really a rapist. Xi Jinping is trouble with a capital T, like in the Taylor Swift song. I never needed to graduate Ivy League to make it in the CIA, or realize: Xi Jinping, Joseph Goebbels and Facebook spell trouble, just look at Mark Zuckerberg asking Xi if he can name his daughter after Xi, that's scary as hell and making Al-Qaeda look more and more like jokey Smurf everyday. How. (Raises hand to mouth and starts making American Indian sounds clapping palm over mouth.)   


Or the black man CIA advert:


Hey what's up y'all. Colin here, not my real name. I'm putting the spook in the CIA, get it? Spooky. But seriously, I forgot what I was going to say but it was probably something hiper-dimensional relevant, know what I'm sayin'? Not like rap music, but something meaningful.... better catch a lid. (Has a nap, wakes up).  I got a free ride at college for not being white, sorry all you skins. 

 


In (more important) news, the EU is throwing its weight around, challenging China's CCP's politics and morality and refusing to SETTLE.


(not settling bro).... 

https://youtu.be/1A3PYxOuT5E


Sydney Morning Herald: ‘Huge victory:’ EU politicians celebrate as China’s sanctions backfire.

https://www.smh.com.au/world/europe/huge-victory-eu-politicians-celebrate-as-china-s-sanctions-backfire-20210505-p57oxb.html


Look at that: California's cisgender Republican candidate, the aptly named Cox, brings an actual bear, to his campaign event. Nice. But still too plain Jane to compete with his non cisgender Republican contender.


https://www.9news.com.au/world/california-recall-election-gavin-newsom-caitlyn-jenner-john-cox-bear-us-politics-news/02cfdcb2-0cb6-4c50-bd4b-14825e0cc317

 

Sensationalism.


Is it totally legal to disappear from a cruel and uncaring world to sleep in a tent at Spanish Fork Canyon in Utah County, Utah  living on grass and moss? Yes. Ask the local police...


https://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/travel-stories/woman-missing-since-2020-found-living-in-tent-in-utah-canyon-eating-moss-and-grass/news-story/2c46a352d8976e2dc9ace7ffdf272dc8


Had to start uncharacteristically early today like 7am. So skipped having a shower. So just gonna have a shower now at work after a two hour nap (yes you can jack off in the shower, just sayin'). Need to bring spare toiletries from garage to work locker, mental note. Just not things I can easily remember. Speaking of Spanish Fork and the aforementioned, make sure all your lefa goes down the drain people, wouldn't want to step on it.


Let's watch John Travolta dance and fade to black...

https://youtu.be/Fa9n7GirhsI




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