fully recharged, over 13 hours sleep, non stop

now let's talk about dreams, recently on this blog we had the dream of cowering in an air conditioning chute, waiting for a bullet. Well yesterday this dream was fulfilled in a way. We, the boy and his dad, were at some big kids' play centre in Bankstown, which has big slippery slides, amongst other things. The boy said he wanted to go on the slippery slide and pointed at the large and elaborate air conditioning chute as if it were a slide. Of course fresh memories of a few days prior, although from after the air conditioning chute dream were on my mind at the time (yesterday) of a targeted assassination of some arab criminal thug on the rooftop car park of the big shopping centre nearby the play centre by some other arab thug most likely. The guy is still on the run, to the best of my knowledge and it's something to keep in mind when bringing your kids to Bankstown in general. When my kid pointed out the chute and said slide, immediately that dream came to mind. Furthermore, about a day before the dream, actually two days before the play centre yesterday, but still after the dream, we went to a local Lebanese restaurant close to home that we have often frequented. We have always had good service there but this time after a few minutes I started experiencing some feeling of mistrust on an irrational, kind of psychic level which I rationalized as a memory of hearing about some Arab classmates spitting in an English teacher's coffee around age 15. I started thinking, what if they're spitting in our food. Then actually for the first time, the food was incredibly late, the guy there didn't want to give me a refund then I had to move my car for a customer was leaving. Meanwhile my wife started yelling at the guy for a refund which she got. We left hungry and I was questioning my wife's wisdom of yelling at a lebbo (Lebanese), same time admiring her bravado.

howdy strangers!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXRHc1-L3nY


hey ladies (men you can consider yourselves lumped in with that collective pronoun)........ was seeking and searching youtube for the south park, starving marvin in space episode.... it's quite funny, the cia approach some really fat woman who always seems to remind me of my mother, she is only interested in chocolate bars or something like that and insists they procure them for her....... unfortunately, couldn't find it anywhere....... so instead there's a link to some guy's favorite ten episodes......... the south park people say hare krishnas are gay -- and Asians stink

it's be fun if they had a global warming / ice-sheets melting episode, they probably already do - so maybe we'll look for that later ----

anyway, the thing we wanted to write about that was some Nepalese girl, was telling a couple who represented themselves as from Nepal about this on Thursday morning just gone by at the local swimming pool, in the jackoozie......... you see, at one point in my life, I found myself with a job in a foreign city but very little money in savings, my savings were dwindling fast and also I did not have satisfactory accommodation but was living in a youth hostel and was tiring of communal living...... I was reaching a point where my money would run out and I would  have to try something different......

therefore, as mentioned a couple of posts ago or so, having found myself in Nepal in august 2000.... on the way out, on a very long and extremely uncomfortable bus ride to india..... a very nice Nepalese woman around age 22 or 23, I was 24 at the time..... or maybe she was 25 already, I don't know, but she insisted on buying me a meal and a pepsi at every stop on the long journey and seeking out my company -- she represented herself by way of caste, saying that she was from the highest caste there, the brahmans, I suppose...... she wore a pretty purple dress and was elegant and becoming to look at -- she looked good -- she was purdy........... we stayed in touch very slightly on email, she was interested to do so --- so it came about that around December of the next year, 2001, around 16 months after we'd initially met, I found myself in aforementioned situation where I had a job with a slight income but very little money left in savings and seemingly no prospects at finding private lodgings........

it was at this point that I considered flying into Nepal with the last of my money and hitting this woman up for charity.........to which end I think I emailed her to sound her out about it...... really, the early to mid 20s is the perfect age for any young man to chase women around the world....... probably this is the only serious way to date and see the world at a young age, by meeting women, and then flying in to town to know them and their town/country/whatever....... one should not do this in the 30s by any means, but prior to age 26, probably that's the best thing a young person can do, just fly from one girl to the next, with at least 2000 kilometres between each girl - or more..............

anyway, I couldn't figure out in the end if this girl was amenable to my idea, she did call me a 'silly boy' by email so maybe she thought it was a bad idea, I can't recall --- but certainly I would have taken a chance and flown to a very poor country like Nepal with no money ---- certainly I doubt my father would have taken a mortgage out on his home to bail me out.............. a Russian friend of mine was telling me how he knows of one Russian guy in india that just burnt his Russian passport and decided to just stay in india........... i'd rather stay in Nepal, that's for sure.......... anyway, the next day, as my deadline for stay or go was approaching, there was a small advert in the fusac, French/American magazine, advertising a small apartment for around 500 euros a month, see today, move in tomorrow -- the landlady was a Texan woman by the name of Laura, so problem solved, I went to see the place and checked in the next day.......... so I was able to stay on like that for various months

but I was completely serious about flying to Nepal with next to no money if that opportunity never arose, although I don't know if I would have done it if that Nepalese woman was completely adverse to offering any help



here's a south parky kind of song: god gave rock and roll to you by kiss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQRYVsqVT3M

the chorus is quite good, very memorable, but the song structure, in terms of the versus, the bridges, the melody of the versus - not perfect.... that reminds me of the TRS-80 --- that was pretty advanced home computer technology in 1980 --- our family had a TRS-80 back in like 1980 or 1981 and it couldn't really do much, but again, the programming was BASIC and we were running one program that was showing the singer from KISS...........

technology is crazy, nowadays product marketing experts will have like elaborate set-ups of 7/11s or supermarkets and have 'guinea pig' people with tracking devices on their eyes so that whatever they look at is studied by computers and analysed............ professors and researchers at universities are using this same technology to see how babies recognize sounds and phonetics by tracking what their eyes look at........... back in the days of these stories, of the Nepalese girl, etc, the police here in Australia never had the technology to test drivers for marijuana use but now they do so regularly and suspend licenses based on that..........not sure if the Constitutional provisions protecting against unreasonable searches and seizures in the u.s. constitution would permit the police there to do that


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlos5hz4eUc

focus, anyone?

yeah, just don't know if I've got what it takes to focus on a goal like mastering programming in java to the extent of making a lucrative income out of it -- or even a reasonable one.... like now, look, getting side-tracked by an evil-laugh soundtrack -- that could be a sign of an unfocused mind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSsj4jjbgks

last week total, 18km... this week 12km

week 1: 21km
week 2: 24km
week 3: 18km

what's up shlarts? so for a while now have been toying with the idea of learning how to program so as be able to make a more lucrative income..... I figured today - Tuesday night actually - I should pick one language and stick with it so I chose java............. then I got interested in how java evolved and what it is so read about it on Wikipedia and then started doing simple java lessons on a free website:  codeacademy.com.............. haven't learned much so far.... if you want to know how many characters are in a quoted string between ditto marks you can add the command .length..........also there's a certain syntax that needs to be followed for if/then commands which anyway they call if/else commands -- namely the bracket marks {}, not to be confused with the parenthesis marks ()..... then there's the command.log command which prints a given line on the help screen -- it's all pretty overwhelming and complicated so we'll see how that goes, if at all, over coming months....... take a look at that sign in the photo, from a logical perspective, what are they saying? what is fhwa? is the hw referring to Herbert walker? which George bush are they even talking about? the dad or the son president? no idea............. also if they're referring to the son president, some people would find it oxymoronic using his name associated with a centre for intelligence, just sayin'.......... at least I've lost some weight, that's better than nothing......

so the only time I ever knew how to program was during the first gulf war, that's hw........... I definitely remember having the program bug for around a week or two, maybe it wasn't during the war although I remember I cut school to watch the war on tv as I found it very interesting..... but the programming phase, I remember skipping a swimming meet for that so maybe it was a different occasion but similar year around 1991 I guess.........  anyway at least codeacademy is free......maybe if I keep plugging away at it late at night i'll get somewhere with that

it's also good to read some sweedenborg with free time and there isn't much free time anyway

well actually it turns out it's cia hq and it's been named after hw bush that way for exactly 17 years to the day now so there you go -- fhwa refers to the federal highway administration, if you're driving there from Reagan national airport you'd see that sign above, but probably not my pretty little self standing by it (unless you're hallucinating or have a hologram projector or tripping balls on acid or something).

jew news

so there are quite a few interesting back-logged stories there on israil from the ny times.... worth the time to read.... it's a complicated society but interesting to read about their various issues.......... certainly people there don't seem to agree on much -- just amongst the Israeli citizenry, that is....... you never know when or where you'll bump into a jew! driving a cab some months ago a jewish mother and her grown up daughter were telling me, the mother, really, about her recent trip to india...... they were quite a gracious pair........... possibly more recently over the Christmas holidays, my family - the whiffy and two kids had occasion to have intercourse over around three days with two jewish couples who were on a similar nature / yoga / indian themed farm retreat.......... the one couple had a little boy called Ben and the wife was from Moscow originally and spoke Russian, her husband was a well groomed guy who told me he was from a long lineage of Jerusalem rabbis, so he could trace his family on the male side back to various generations in Jerusalem - many rabbis, one after another..... he told me he didn't like to be very orthodox though and was somewhat irreligious in his outlook.......... of course, one imagines that israil is primarily a political nation of laws so compliance with laws like military service comes before religious affiliations and suchlike -- then there's all different language speakers there, like when I was there I would probably only talk to jews from English or American backgrounds because I can't speak Yiddish or whatever...... of course in my family the male side all traces back to the mountains of Asturias in northern spain going back at least around five generations that we know of.......... the other couple was a Californian wife from LA who had emigrated to israil and met her husband there, he was more grungy looking and she was very much a southern Californian.... i'm not sure if she had served in the israili army but the Moscow/Jerusalem couple with the kid called Ben had both served in the army there which is compulsory and had very friendly dispositions....... I recall staying in Jerusalem that the woman renting my room to me in her homestay arrangement was a well educated type from new York city, easily over 60 or 65 who liked to call me Benny, same as my mother, and was very kind and friendly towards me.... she also had very prominent views from her apartment such as the golden dome mosque from her bathroom, and easy access to various intricate and very old walkways in Jerusalem...... the pity there was that everyone was following the warring between the arabs and the jews on the mass media like it was a soccer game, like if you walked into a Palestinian arab run backpackers the radio is on and instead of soccer like in spain it's all war this and attack that and tit for tat..........same with the jews.......... that's not healthy.

I'd been meaning to bring my kids to some kind of synagogue here in Sydney to show them a little bit about jewish culture but unfortunately they're all very far away - around bondi area.... at one point I tried calling the main synagogue in Sydney but the woman that answered the phone was ridiculously paranoid and stupid so that's a turn off really.........


another time I bumped into israeilis was around 3 years ago now on a bus in Barcelona, two guys, they both seemed very sceptical and kind of angry......... the best luck I had running into jews was a night in around august 2000..... i'd just spent around ten months just lying low with my old man, just me and him sharing the crib while his mrs was spending a year in spain with her mom......... it gave me a chance to give my brain and body a rest from marijuana and alcohol, same time it was kind of like a self-imposed prison sentence as I was just lying low a lot and very reclusive, shut-in type, also tending towards depression in this way due to no job, no car, isolated neighbourhood, next to no friends, no life etc............ after almost a year of this, I jumped onto  an airplane and went to Bangkok to the main street, kao san.... I deciced to myself that amongst all the tourists there playing everywhere I would find some buddies and not just keep to myself............. towards the end of my walk, while also searching for accommodation, I heard a guy laughing a big hearty laugh, his name was Herschel or Hershe I think, like the chocolate, he was a tubby jewish guy from nyc with ties to israil and was doing some kind of business in Bangkok..... I went to him and his party and just introduced myself like I was their long lost cousin or something like that -- I mean after ten months of isolation from society, and sobriety too, I didn't care to keep to myself anymore so was pretty forward.......... I asked Hershe after a just joining his posse, a bunch of Israeli jews if I could just crash at his crib instead of the dingy rooms in kao san and he was fine with that except one night I had to take off while he and his jewish buddy humped thai whores or something -- I went off to an island for a night and rode on the back of a scooter with some thai girl....... that first night on kao san I was checking out Hershe's female buddies from Israel and they looked foxy but I was too shy and low on self-esteem/pluck to bother even hitting on them, I just wanted to drink a lot of booze and get stoned -- Hershe told me just to hit up his pot supply whenever, he just showed me his box where he kept his buds at his crib in Bangkok which had aircon and that was sweet -- he was definitely a trusting guy and a good Samaritan, no question.......... I ended drinking copious amounts of beer and that went on throughout the coming months in Nepal Tibet, three nights in india, a stopover in frankfurt and in madrid, it just really kicked off there and I went into overdrive, warpspeed just drinking litres and litres of wine in a sitting, getting seriously messed up -- then I met some American girl and started shacking up with her in madrid and just kept drinking as much as I could get away with - and smoking too..... that first night in Bangkok really teed up a six week bout of severe diarreah and intestinal bug which I never killed til I got to madrid like six weeks after that first night and went to a doctor and started taking anti-biotics.... I even smoked hash in Tibet!  there was some big American guy Mike in Tibet telling me how awesome Japanese women were back in japan where he'd been living and how he could pick them up and hold them with one hand......... at some point we were talking at this kind of restauranty-bar place in llasa there and I was eating yak burgers and I was all like, damn there's too much alcohol in my system, better disengage from the chat at the table and barf somewhere then come back so that's what I did, total train wreck...... there was some American mix-raced couple there in Tibet too, the guy was called Dang and was like Vietnamese or something and his girlfriend was a whitey and they were saying they were in the peace corps and had been installing toilets in some butthole country somewhere---- the good old days!


one of the Tibetan bar workers was a Jethro tull fan, not a big fan myself, I certainly remember flying into Kathmandu after taking leave of Hershe and his great hospitality listening to indian summer from the doors and wafting through the clouds -- found a real killer hotel by the Himalayas there at great cost and then immediately made a buddy in the local area and showered him with loads of cash so I could get an insight on local life with me homey there ---- maybe will tell you more about that later -- a lot of card playing with his neighbors, lonely wives whose husbands were away fighting maoist commies


Hershe gave me his email address but I ended up losing it -- I was not much good at looking forward to the future in those days so didn't keep a lot of peoples' contact details which is a pity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YweoQz22SQY

that's a good doors album, as far as doors albums go: morrison hotel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qI8l1h3UrrY&ebc=ANyPxKrXdFafK4GtrF31Ae5lwtkrF0I3xuDVFI5X7F0QfFRU4LAQk59MbghLc_nPHOnQEgecxrDSM8bgYvIh0SRpoAp6v1ieEQ

back at the gym

ok did an extra 3km last night after work, so 12km for the week. On Tuesday rest day think it was, woke up after like two hours sleep around midnight with vomity burning in my oesophagus area, unpleasant.


interesting article on israil


http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/03/09/world/middleeast/study-israel-jews-pew-research.html


just going to keep running now


+3km=15km

week three gym

ok so Monday was 4km, Tuesday was a rest day due to lack of sleep and exhaustion, today Wednesday 5km so far and 60 sit ups , total week 9km

movie review - the makeover, 2013.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qy1bHhJ4NKI

hey I found this movie to be somewhat entertaining.............

ran another 4km this morning to kick off week 3 of the new regime.......... got to sleep now coz it's like 120am and only going to get not even five hours sleep by the looks of it......... sure hope I don't wake up scared like last night....... I was so scared after that dream I ended up creeping up next to my wife like a big chicken --- even felt scared after that like an intruder was going to get into our apartment because i'd left the door unlocked --- i'm not normally scared of anything!  just reserved like because in Australia you can't speak your mind freely like in America -- too many people would get offended and you'd end up changing jobs or whatever all the time........ last time I got scared like that it was a dream I mentioned earlier in this blog, some alien had frozen me in my sleep so I couldn't move my body, it was telling me it was like 50,000 years old, when I woke up I couldn't even move my body for a few moments and then I felt scared and crept up to my wife to hug her .............. I consider both of those episodes of waking up afraid abnormal and generally I can't ever say I've ever woken up like that in my life, afraid like that, except maybe as a kid

there have been times when I've woken up with a scream in my throat from a nightmare and might have actually screamed out loud, sometimes it's almost like I caught an echo of the scream in the room I was sleeping in but that would only have happened fewer than five times I guess and I never felt scared after waking --- I don't know what's going on ---- ice sheets sure are melting fast though

nightmare

ok so that was 6km total last night plus 18 = 24km run for the week..... Maybe because of the sudden jolt to the system these past two weeks, some 45km run, my body is starting to react so last night I had a nightmare which is not really typical. The final thing that scared me was I was walking like late at night and two guys were having some kind of altercation, one on a motorcycle or scooter, just kind of yelling at each other a little.... Then like one party left walking and I essayed to ignore him so as not feed the fire of his displeasure or wroth.... The other party on the bike was riding slowly nearby and was saying something about being a shapeshifter and then I woke up super scared which lasted for a while..... Finally I remembered earlier in the dream, deep asleep.... I'm in like an air-conditioning chute that's quite large but pitch black. Machine gun or rapid arms fire breaks out... I'm hoping the chute is super compartmentalized and the shooter will die from a ricochet, same time I'm sitting waiting to die any moment.... Later it's still dark, pitch black but I have to fight some kind of demons like big baboons but it's like a video game or something but it's only once the light is on it's possible to fight them... Really surprised I woke up scared from this dream, normally I don't feel much fear.... Mostly I worry about the guy at my kid's daycare because he looks like a sicko and just feel disappointed with my wife

back at the gym

just evacuation of stool right now then it's off to sweat. Oreilly had me laughing on the way here from work with his impersonation of a trump protester, albeit with a delay of various hours. Caught some of trump's speech about the ice rink and quite enjoyed it, it's actually the first time I really enjoyed hearing trump talk. Dios mío the music piped around the gym is certainly bombastic if nothing else. They were showing some tailor swift song on the td last night here , must be a new one, she's wearing a shirt saying she's busy or something. Was feeling headachy today, probably coz of smoking too much, so took four aspirin. Maybe it's coz I slept too much coz I napped from around ten for almost three hours.


2 litres is about half a gallon and the oj I've mostly killed tonight, like two litres, contains a whopping 788 calories. 3km or roughly two miles only burns around 240 calories, so there's just too much sugar in everything. Heard some of cruz's speech earlier today, sounds promising. But if sanders could get all the evil greedy corporations to abolish sugar, I'd vote for him!


ok so Friday night above did 3km and had a break Saturday and currently sitting on 4km right now makes weekly total 22km so far

at da gym

just after 11pm, Thursday night. Last week ending Sunday ran a total whopping 21km! That's half a marathon! This week so far sitting on 8km but will try to run 5km now unless I start chafing around the upper thighs or thereabouts. My weight is just fluctuating between 119.5 kg and 124kg though. Not much difference happening.


ok that's 5km down with around hundred yards walk extra on average with each km. The most obvious health benefit is to the intestinal, digestive system, one would think, as it gets everything pumping and tends to really get the bowels moving, it's also conducive to drinking more water. Being a smoker of around 8 or 9 cigarettes per day on average, probably the effect on the lungs is limited but excellent for the heart as my heart rate at rest is only 88 according to the machine and I feel a lot better but smoking is definitely weakening.


that's a 9kmph speed with two lots of 1km plus a 3km non stop run. As a smoker, it's hard to just go run 8km non stop. Obviously there's a really strong endorphin and dopamine rush going on right now which is super. Also did 30 sit ups and going to see if I'm good for another 3km tonight. It's a little before midnight. Pbs news hour with Gwen Eiffel was showing some interesting reporting series on u.s. Military earlier today like about people that live on submarines and stuff, so probably will watch that after the gym in bed then crash. Alex is off tomorrow with his mom and sister to play with his Korean / Ukrainian buddy Isaac, so probably will just sleep in and shower tomorrow. So far 13km this week. Ok make that 15, was only down for an extra 2

colonel jessup checks out potential replacements for pfc william t. santiago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m0LhDiMj8Q

candidate snot-nose reporting for duty sir!

colonel j: you make me sick, go to hell, what's your name little lady?

candidate simpson sir! I can drink two gallons of cum and burp the star spangled banner sir! that's what i'm good for sir!

colonel j: good to see, we sure can use talent like that, what's your name, g.i. jane?

no sir it's 'blood coming out of my whatever' sir!

colonel j: is that like an indian thing? is that the first thing your dad spotted after he stepped out of the teepee you were born in? is that what's up with the hairdo? you're a Cherokee or something?

maybe sir! candidate simpson is lying when she says she can drink two gallons of cum and burp the star spangled banner sir! she walks around with a tube connecting her arsehole to her mouth so as cut out the middle man according to her own words sir!

colonel j: is that a fact? how about you two handsome devils? are you a couple or something? looking to adopt a kid together? maybe one of you can get a sex change and incubate a baby

          


he can't speak English very well sir, he's French

colonel j: and just who might you be?

i'm a non-committal trans gender pansy bitch sir! I like to dress myself up like a bitch on some days but wouldn't go as far as getting trans-gender surgery and therapy sir!

colonel j: charming; how about you son, you look a little young to be a marine

i'm Timmy and i'm in a chinese opium den!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywMOVae6FWI

tyranny

so there's some stupid left wing ho-bag from America moonlighting on Australian tv, on the govt. owned channel lately -- don't know her name but she was recently preaching how hateful Donald trumps statements are

this is a woman who pretends that slavery has been abolished in America and the border with mexico isn't used as a means to extend slavery....... all the things the democrats are pushing in America like govt. handouts for this that and the other, a lot of it is funded by taxes levied on the slave class of illegal aliens in America that are not entitled to any of these handouts --- this lady is completely full of shit

her choice of associates: the abc, along with the private media class in Australia, is working hand in glove with the academic class to run a wholescale mafia operation of illegal education which involves passing millionaire communist chinese students who can't even speak English to graduate with honors for the sake of pumping up the economy (their pockets) with the dirty chinese communist money ---- the upshot is that we are all choking in traffic and can't afford to buy real estate and have to carry these people in our daily lives who cannot even bother to learn English -- I have tried emailing the fbi about this but clearly they are a walking joke and not up to the task, instead they seemed to have been interested in seth blatter and the fifa soccer which is a distraction............

I wouldn't be running over to Russia to question election fraud over there if I were from this parasitical class of second tier intellectuals in Australia either, i'd be checking the 1999 referendum on republicanism to see if there was any fraud there and if the federal police here were complicit with that or no........... there's a difference between a journalist and a propagandist with an agenda / PR agent --- the 'journalists' mentioned in this post aren't actually journalists but propagandists/PR types

those are some facts


trump was right about Megan Kelly too by the looks of it, this woman looks like she's going to reincarnate in socialist France as a pastry chef the way she is carrying on. Might as well get started now and hit the oven with some éclairs.
what tripe she was coming with about Heidi cruz's parents being devout christians. What imbecilic poppycock! Hogwash

trop du sucre! 20 heure repotage sur le sucre

voila, maintenant vous parlez Mon langue, comment ils les americains.... Quand Il s'agit sûr le preponderance du sucre pour tout les aliments, je comprends tout que vous dire

goddam mouse in my house! horrible

normally my cat pudsy slays them outside every few months or so, thing ran under the fridge, giving me a fright and then I totally vaporized under there with cockroach spray, I calculate it's choking to death now and i'll have to check under the fridge tomorrow

anyway shlarts, time for more silly benji meandering stories:

so there I was in downtown LA, like waiting for a bus or something after the homeless shelter, 'new image' had cleared everyone out for the morning..... wearing my typical outfit of a black t-shirt and navy blue army shorts and shoes, probably with no socks, I was at complete and utter peace with the Cosmos........ my mind was like a baby, empty of thought..... zen........ and there were no tears as I did not need to be cuddled or fed like a baby.......... some African American guy from the shelter bitterly remarked that I looked like I was hanging out at the beach, clearly he was jealous of my chilled out state --- obviously that was before I got married --- no married man can ever know peace like that

anyway, rewinding a little, I find myself in northern china near north korea in the wintertime, in tonghua jilin.......... I was walking along with an American girl, sulynn, who was one of a party of about 5 or so non chinese aliens that were working in that small town....... sulynn was actually born in Sydney but lived in seattle and was a law major and fixing on becoming a district attorney or something of this nature ---I was pissed off because she was born in Sydney like me but her prospects and everything were so great and my life seemed to suck balls ---- eventually I got drunk and made my resentment clear by calling her a dirty whore --- then for good measure I ended up, in that drunken state, trying to have sex with the Canadian girl, but she was kind of too fat and I wasn't really into it and was too drunk so I just gave up and went to sleep......... anway, sulynn and I were walking along in the snow and ice one morning, before dirtywhore-gate, when, no lies, I trod on a manhole that had a misplaced lid so my foot lost its purchase and I ended up really hurting my shin like crazy ---- the town had a really cool little restaurant we'd eat at, that was the Canadian girl, sulynn and her American boyfriend (they later split up) and the south African girl, who I have since gone on to visit three times in Auckland, new Zealand, where she now resides........ you could definitely see poverty in that town, it was a real backwater, some people actually lived in shacks and all -- one day, the day the American couple left, the temperature plummeted to like minus 20 degrees celcius, I had never seen anything so cold

anyway, when I was in Arizona I emailed su-lynn's boyfriend of those days and he told me he had some family in Arizona I could visit but I said I would pass ---- I was kind of hoping with this post to convey what it was like spending around two months in Sedona around july 2006, however I don't feel up to it now so maybe will try again some other time

well I guess the first thing to realize was that at the time I was looking for something like some kind of answers or something, so when I had free time, I would go to one of the local bars there and get a beer and write stuff but it was all a bunch of bullshit, I mean probably 100 times more non-sensical than my blogs......... everything is one big fat desert everywhere you go and I never had a car so i'd be walking around all over the place, getting odd jobs like one day I spent the entire day or even more than one day just helping out at a nursery, another day I was helping an African American couple from Mississippi or somewhere like that that just occasionally visited Sedona, maybe we were all working for the nursery that day, like with plants and stuff, I just remember standing in the storage section of the truck and having to lift stuff............ another time I was helping out some landscape gardener with his shit, the guy was young and making a fortune for himself, there's no grass in Sedona, just rocks and pebbles and hardly any trees, it's just a big desert......... some other day I was hitching a ride from some guy I can't even remember.........another night I was walking along one of the few major roads (like there's only one or two) that bisect the town, the guy had the nerve to slow his big arse vehicle down while I was walking along and start making chicken noises thus: begerk, buck, buck ,buck (like how a chicken sounds), I did not hesitate to yell at him: 'go back to your own country dickhead!' which yielded the beneficial result of him speeding off...........

probably the most stability and excellence I achieved in those heady days, really only two months but time I guess is meaningless on a spiritual level, especially in hindsight......... were the cave days........ the cave days involved getting laid in a niche in the rocks for the sake of sleep.........there was a buttress overhead the cave that protected from the rain and the surface for laying on was uneven and uncomfortable however I enjoyed sleeping rough, there was a beautiful little river to bathe in in the morning in lieu of a shower, at night I could hear coyotes howl or something like that sometimes and I have my big arse faggot of wood ready nearby to destroy them at mortal combat if it came to that........ sigh, those were the days..... the sunrise heralded the need to forsake my place in the bosom of nature and after bathing, rise up a steep and stony embankment of large rocks to the freeway.... I often thought of Osama ben laden when climbing up that embankment those mornings as a famous video of him put out in the bogeyman days prior to that always had him kind of climbing around similar kinds of rocks over in Afghanistan, of course he had a walking stick which gave him an edge I guess.......once I got to the freeway it was off to rite-aid pharmacy supermart to work, like clock on around 9am I guess...... if I walked it would take a solid hour --- there was also a supermarketty kind of store nearby I sometimes liked to stop there after work and shop, like a farmer's market or something was the chain's name..........anyway the trick was to get a ride, i'd have to walk for a while and the best days (most convenient) there was some tourguide operator operating some kind of overpriced service for all the wealthy tourists from Germany or wherever that were in town to see stuff on their way in or out from the grand canyon I guess........ the tour guide was always saying the same shpiel everyday about teakettle rock and the same lame jokes, day after day........ obviously I kept my mouth shut and never said anything to portray ingratitude as I really needed that ride....... i'd get dropped at a hotel or somewhere and then just walk around 10 or 15 mintues to rite-aid where i'd buy some noodles for like 20 cents and maybe some bread or something and have breakfast ---- there was always some young American soldier hero kid who'd been to Iraq like twice or something and enjoyed shooting up teenagers with ak-47s there or something --- he certainly was a glorious son of a bitch no question....... there are a lot of weird kind of people in Sedona, many retirees too but a lot of people into crazy new age shit........for example, the only reason i'm even pining for those days and to revisit Sedona now is because of some insanely new agey type from Sedona who I very recently discovered on youtube talking about aliens (greys from zeta reticuli star) that have used her to breed about ten hybrid human/zeta reticuli kids and bla bla bla...........obviously that's  a lot for anyone to swallow but her stories are interesting and the backdrop in Sedona is really to die for because that place is just something else........... i'm really missing it there and would love to go spend a month or so there on holiday! or just run away from my family in general and go to mexico and then get into America and go to Sedona, obviously I probably won't do that but i'd sure like to!

anyway, all I have are my memories, another time a very stalwart American fellow, around age 60 I would say, was kind enough to give me a ride with his big yellow truck.... I have no idea why we were out at someone's farm there in the Sedona area, i'm guessing it was Sedona although in hindsight maybe It was flagstaff because the farm had a lot of greenery........... I just remember sitting in the cab of the truck with that guy and him saying something that wasn't meant to be funny but finding it very amusing and laughing anyway...........another time, around the start of the 2 months or so there, some younger type like 47 years old kind of guy gave me a ride, we were maybe working on some project as I was probably standing out with some Mexicans that day waiting to get hired by laborers....... I guess I had lost my belt and was using like some kind of cable for a belt which is somewhat of a hillbilly look I guess and I remember him asking me if I got laid a lot in those shorts..... I didn't answer that question as it was foolish and unworthy of a response.......... another time I was sitting in Sedona library, another place I liked chilling at, I guess they had aircon there and internet......... if people in town knew eachother from sight or regularity or something, I had no idea and didn't care, everyone was respectful and all and anyway it's America and anyone can have a gun so you never know if some nutty is going to shoot the place up so who cares about little bitchy aspects of social life - I mean it's not like in Australia where everyone is a real bitch when it comes to social interactions on a daily basis........people in spain sure aren't bitches like that, I can tell you, when you walk into a bar in spain you say: 'boss, gimme a beer!' you never say please and all that shit like a little English bitch, just saying........... so anyway, I was in the library and the guy sitting next to me asked me what time it was....... there was a guy sitting opposite us like eight yards or so who looks up and I don't even look at my guy sitting next to me but obviously he's asking me because i'm the only guy nearby him and he's not yelling out to everyone randomly like I would do......... anyway I don't have the time and it's not my business to tell him the time by looking for a clock for him so I just keep looking at the guy opposite us who is staring at us anyway and then finally he burps out the time........

so when I first ended up in Sedona it was because the party I was travelling with stole my car with my passports and phone and clothes and stuff so I really only had the clothes on my back and like my Australian driver's license and my fake American social security card and fake resident alien card and really not much else........ the first useful guy on the scene tuned out to be a good friend to me...... he later was telling me how when he was like a little kid like four years old or something he saw some robbers shoot his parents dead in front of him......... at some point I decided to take some of his marijuana without asking him which was just the kind of thing I would do in general over the years, deeply annoying people which I found amusing......... he did not take kindly to it and told me in no uncertain terms that if I did it again we would box......... anyway, this guy, I think his name was james, he was the guy that switched me on to getting a job at rite aid, he'd actually worked there himself he said........... also he showed me where I could get charity food and stuff like that......... even though I had like no money, somehow it seemed I never wanted for anything there.......... james had some funny idea of getting some kind of desert cone stem thing that grew there and covering them with wax and selling them as kind of novelty candles or something, he was quite passionate about it and was making some good money with that......... a lot of people would probably pan-handle around begging people with jobs for money all day long outside for money and make more money like that than I would working at rite-aid or somewhere, I don't know if it's because of how I was raised or what, but I mean my father and brother and sister were all workers when we were all living together in the same house, say around the mid 1990s........ I don't know, I was never one to just beg for money, I don't mind begging for a cigarette or a kiss or sex or marijuana but I never liked to beg for money and I only ever found myself once in life on the street with a cup to beg for money and that was in Dublin Ireland and after some stupid irish bitch and some dumb American bitch conspired to not let me board my flight from Dublin to O'Hare airport in Chicago......... it left me in the same situation as in Sedona: completely broke............ anyway I was walking somewhere one morning, like to rite aid to work or something and I managed to sell one of those candles of james' to some beautiful looking blonde girl from Ukraine, she seemed to like it a lot, I think she was from Ukraine although it could have been Russia, not 100 on that..........

another day I waited what seemed like half an hour or more for a goddam haircut..........the lady hairdresser seemed very happy with my patience though and she did a good job cutting my hair..... another time I was in a bookshop and tried reading some book like bold fresh or something by some guy bill o'reilly that I knew nothing about and never bothered to even watch like one of his shows ever, didn't like his book so just tried reading something else....there were some other incidents -- I guess every little event seems special now in hindsight because of the amazing location of the area........ anyway finally, after two months or so, I figured whatever I could learn from Sedona had been achieved and it was time to leave......... I wrote a sign and sat by a highway and waited for a ride which took around half an hour........ I had a little money, can't remember how much, maybe only $200 or something.....  some guy came along and gave me a ride -- we smoked some weed and he brought me to his home and wife -- thank god they didn't try tying me up and raping me with a blowtorch or something -- so I spent the night at their place watching deadwood or something on tv with hubby --- the wife was telling me earlier that day how she'd just lobbed up to town and approached the local businesses for work as a cleaner and was making a good income and was happy --- I couldn't blame either of them for being happy, as the location they lived in was really something else --- a little bit outside of Sedona and the desert, much greener -- very nice to look at........ maybe It was flagstaff already, can't really remember -- anyway I headed to the bus station in flagstaff like the next day and my cell phone that i'd bought in Sedona rang and what a surprise, some phillipino woman in seoul, south korea, that I had recently given money to, she'd called me to talk to me -- not sure how she had my number but maybe I emailed it to her -- can't even remember -- i'm pretty sure we talked for a while --- i'm confused -- like I can vaguely remember her and I going shopping in seoul and buying a jacket that said 'south pole' on it --- somehow I never got into her pants although I would have liked to so I guess she wasn't willing -- can't understand what happened there --- or maybe I wasn't aggressive enough ---- then I seem to remember having that same 'south pole' jacket at the homeless shelter in LA aforementioned which would be my new home for about five months after a few minor pitstops --- I can't remember if I did keep that jacket from seoul all the way through Sedona but certainly a buddy in Sedona gave me a wallet as a present which I still use today and have used it for ten years straight now this winter approaching (in three months time)..... also I bought some Mozart cds in phoenix and i'm sure I still have them around somewhere too

go kill sarastro you stupid whore!   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=463jDvbw3LQ

wow look at this lady do it!   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOQ7W8-_Ekg

hey this lady has no shame about it, there's even subtitles to explain what the hell she's on about:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFktfr1kmHc

wow even this little girl is in on the conspiracy     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF0zePMxxys

wow Gangnam style    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6c9x1pMQlk

my buddies at university in Spain

before I mention them, from around 96/97, I'll mention one girl at college here in Sydney a couple of years after aforementioned buddies in Spain.... I'm pretty sure her name was Jade and she was representing herself as a lesbian, same time, she let me get into bed with her one night to sleep but no game... Like she just wanted some close proximity but no making out... She was really cute, I didn't care if she had sex with women, like that wasn't a turn off at all, having mentioned that, as a kind of associated memory of my university schooling in general, I'll tell you a little about my buddies in Spain, keeping in mind, in Spain the classmates don't change locations like in Australia or America with the expansive campuses and space and funding. like a lot of European nations and the Chinese, the kids just sit still everywhere all day long and the lecturers move to them, often in cramped buildings.


btw, the girl with the burnt fringe put two and two together within ten minutes of the event according to my recollection of the matter, although we never saw eachother for a few days after burn-gate

digressing slightly, although I don't ever recall listening to Fleetwood mac ever in spain, certainly not during my year and a half long sojourn there from January 1996 thru july 1997..... however, I had one of their songs just kick its way aggressively into my subconscious a few days ago and it pretty much matches that particular entire stay there at that phase, which, on the whole, was quite interesting in my estimation......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcawnRIyeok

so getting back to some of my classmates there at the complutense in madrid, I can tell you we never had the kind of relationship where we'd spend a lot of time together outside of class although occasionally we did so......... probably worth mentioning the universities in spain to me looked like a joke in terms of rote teaching/learning, lack of interaction, large class sizes, etc, etc, etc.... all very similar to my experience working as a teacher in china...... I wasn't impressed much either by the curriculum in high school in spain, neither by their approach with regard to the issues already mentioned......... certainly to americans the libraries in spain  would look like a joke due to a chronic shortage of books of variety, for example, I can walk into a public library in nyc and find a book in Spanish by a multitude of Puerto rican or Spanish speaking writers from nyc or somewhere and there's a wealth of that kind of culture, but in spain they don't care because they've really just decided a few certain writers who are incredibly mediocre and boring are somehow important........  anyway, I wouldn't have held that against my classmates in spain as it wasn't their fault! and anyway, I still hadn't realized at that time how viable and strong Spanish  speaking culture was in the usa

so sitting next to me on either side, every day, day in and day out were nacho and gracia..... both of whom were considerably older than the average student............nacho was a lawyer, around 28 years old and gracia was a nurse around 43 I guess, however she was tight lipped about her age........ nacho was certain that gracia was interested in exploiting me for her own sexual satisfaction, despite being married and having a teenage son......... gracia was good looking for her age, possibly a peroxide blonde, however, I totally wouldn't have gone there as she was way too old and I had a lot better game than that........there was a very typical Madrid kind of guy with a Madrid accent, Alejandro (Alexander) sitting behind us and possibly by an aisle, so that he only ever sat next to one person it seemed, which, in my memory was always one particular girl, I think her name was Pachus, but can't recall for sure...... i'm mentioning these people because I had some love for them........ actually I said I had better game than Gracia, but in fact her age really showed her wisdom compared to my own age (20) as she easily spotted that I was pussy-whipped and said so, and, in fact, she was right......... I don't think Alex and Pachus were ever a match but who knows if they did ever have something going on, they certainly never meant blabbering about it.........not sure about their relationship but they probably smoked up together and drank together occasionally with mutual friends as they navigated how to play the game to pass the stupid exams there in spain with our shitty losing university system.........I definitely recall catching up with the two of them about four years after our year together as students......... I was totally wasted however, stoned on pot and drunk so completely unable to barely stay lucid or somehow cogniscent..........still I remember they both seemed friendly........ Pachus in general was one to stay quiet and watch people whereas Alex was outgoing and liked to talk......... like a lot of Spaniards, he probably considered himself real smart at judging people's intentions and interests in their actions which is probably a national sport there, seeing what people really want, what they are fishing around for, why they're acting the way they are, how they're acting, what their angle and interest is, etc.......... generally Alex had a very jovial disposition and was given to laughter..... Pachus was quieter and kind of seemed sweet but like she constantly had period cramps or something......... there were another three kids that were a little square for the five of us already mentioned, I suppose, that sat nearby and we worked with them a little on some group project or figuring out what was going on.........and another guy called Ruben........ those are the only guys I recall, apart from the Mexican Heidi Mitchell, who sat nearby us too, who, as I mentioned ended up marrying a very famous latin world singer, Alejandro Sanz.......... there was also a Colombian girl that nacho was always joking wanted to jump into the sack with me (nacho wasn't kidding, a lot of chicks dug me, what can i say) and some girl up near the back of the class that was so good looking it was ridiculous, I guess I never hit on her because I was into American chicks at the time but she was just insanely awesome looking, Jesus, better stop thinking about it.... I remember catching up with her four years later on a different stay in spain, about a year there, different Fleetwood mac song I guess.......and she was still incredibly hot............. we talked for a while at the campus cafeteria, I guess she was in last year on that occasion whereas when I first recalled her, we were in first year together (it was a five year plan)......... she was still incredibly gorgeous looking and looked interested in me....... not pursuing her, I guess I was too gay or something --- absolutely no idea...........god she was beautiful she had like a beauty mark like a mole or something and always wore really classy and sexy (tight) outfits without looking like a slut.......... maybe she was my ideal marriage partner for life or something -- who knows --- think she had green eyes and like a light tan -- she was definitely a real hotty --- better change topics, sorry

hey look there's my wife!   too bad she hates me

see those big old towels draped up on the rafters, guess they're not panes because they aren't starchy enough or something? that's Sedona library in Arizona, one of the best libraries in the world for feeling away from masses of people and close to a desert and nothing much else.......... there's almost nobody around for miles (population only 10,000), sparseness of population is probably close to an Australian person's heart or something

le gym

ok so making a note of today's workout and last two days, that was 5km running today and yesterday in 3 1km runs and one two km run
got to feed the cat

on Monday it was either 3km of running or 4km, can't remember........ also today and yesterday about 30 sit-ups approx. and also today and yesterday, discovered the joys of stretching using a giant soft gym ball......... I figured today that it's possible to arch my back enough on the gym ball to have my had almost touching the ground same time as my feet are, it's certainly helpful for the back to stretch it thusly......... In general the back pains I was experiencing before I took a two week holiday have gone away from the most part but now i'm finding my right shoulder and associated muscles are torn or something and it's not 100% ok or easy to move although I can still drive the bus with it and it doesn't hurt so bad unless I try to stretch my right arm out

the kids definitely didn't seem to enjoy the gym's playgroup today as much as yesterday, especially the girl who was crying a lot so I spent a couple of sessions between runs in there with them but certainly the girl didn't like it much today - too bad I guess, she'll have to get used to it ---- the lady at the gym daycare was totally overwhelmed today anyway - just a big cryfest in there

salut

20 heure at the jim [sic] what to do with old shoes

got 50 minutes to burn and want to see something crazy? check this out;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-bIWm08eJc


so babysitting became so burdensome, there was no avoiding working out.... got such a good deal at a private (not socialist) gym --- can't believe it, only $1 per week first two months then $10 per week next ten months and that includes 24/7 access plus childcare from 9am to midday six days a week --- I'm thinking I should actually pull my kid out of daycare which is considerably more expensive -- sure makes my mornings a lot more fructiferous --- actually burning calories and getting into shape

so anyway, not sure why, but seemed like a good idea to mention some anecdotes from various years in spain, first of all, there was one time in like late 1992 or early 1993, I was 16 years old and attending a kind of tutoring academy after school which was a private business being run by a friend of my aunt (my mom's sister)........ now while I attended a public school which was absolutely the pits due to the lamentable bad luck of the company I had there -- I mean there were three kids about 3 years older than me who were total losers who had repeated various times and they were always harassing me --- I should have just requisitioned a table and chair and sat elsewhere, looking back.......... anyway, the after school academy was a lot more pleasant, for some reason, I can't forget one of the muchachas there, a very buxom and comely young lady, 'un pedazo de muchacha' as they say in spain........ one day, for a laugh I got the idea of tampering with her lighter (everyone over age 15 smokes in spain) so that the flame would be super strong....... then the next week at the academy, I raised the topic with her and her face really 'lit up' as she regaled how her fringe burned off seemingly inexplicably due to the lighter acting up --- then of course she realized I had been the guilty party and actually she was quite delighted by it all

next I was going to mention the folks I sat with in university in the year 1996/97, about four years later, but maybe i'll bring that up again later -- have changed my mind about it since starting this post

talk soon

foreign policy usa: barack vs trump

don't forget to remind ISIS to readjust their clocks for daylight savings barack who sane....... wouldn't want them to miss a yezidi or a French speaker.............  congrats donaldo for telling it like it is: never rule out using a nuke in Europe, spot on....... and let the nippers and the yellow people of south korea have nukes for crazy old man jung next door, good job!  oh sorry, canary colored, not yellow, wouldn't want to be a racist


                                                                     *          *          *


oh and here's an idea for all the late night comedy writers out there in southern California, maybe if you all get together and try squeaking at the same time someone would actually here your little iddy biddy squeaks......... squeakers

hey why not print out this picture next time you're not stoned enough to feed a printer and then just write your next joke in the voice balloon, hint, you could use a one work joke that starts with s and ends in k...... six letters......... second letter? q!........... letter after q? are you serious? you need to stop smoking pot for a few minutes......... squeak squeak!    (did I mention: squeak?)

alvarez shoots and scores, hazzah! oh wait that was shooter mcgavin, my bad

the comedy of life continues

                                     

just woke up after a few hours of nightly sleep.... had been watching a documentary about the nazi invasion of Stalingrad before falling asleep.....  in general watching a lot of war documentaries lately: waterloo, Gaugamela, Stalingrad, Fallujah in 2004 and marjah Afghanistan in 2011....... definitely in the mood for that..............

in my dreams, I was revisiting some idiot phase of my life.......... if Shakespeare says all the world's a stage and everyone merely players huffing and puffing around, actually he did say that, so no need to use the world 'if'

so in my dream, it was re-enacting some things that actually happened in my life.... I had just turned 21, I went off to Germany just for the heck of it as it wasn't far away, i'd been living in spain at the time....... I ended up going to a rave in some big factory area of Neuss and staying with a fag couple in the small town of neuss with whom I went to the party.... the fag couple were your typical fags: pitcher and catcher........... after spending a few years with my current wife, I can no longer point fingers or blame fags for anything with regard to their lifestyle choices.......... the fag couple ended up giving me a very cool shirt that only fags think of wearing, it was yellow and long sleeved and had a little hoody and was very hip

returning to madrid, I had some Californian girlfriend there that I was shtooping........... looking back, I made a horrendous mistake because I hadn't been shtooping my buddy from nyc who was even hotter -- or shtooping both of them at the same time............clearly I was a loser and it was myself and my own stupid ways that had condemned myself............. all around the world, young people were going to university, getting skills............ becoming engineers, etc........... I was going to university, dropping out, taking 11 classes, passing or failing 9, becoming nothing, going nowhere.......... now I drive a bus.............. my career doesn't even exist...................

I should have just gone to America and joined the army and gotten citizenship there or stayed there illegally for years and years............ I can't believe I just meandered around for years and years going nowhere after that.......... just meandering and stuff --- that's horrible

anyway, it looked to me on that trip to Germany --- I met up with some kid on the german side of the border from Holland, we'd both probably come in on the same train and he'd just been in Holland at some music festival......... so that was in Emmerich where I met up with him and then we hitched a ride from some morrocan guy in a van doing deliveries from near Emmerich on the freeway, into the town of dusseldorff.... it seemed to me, since the dream was just fresh on my mind, that race relations in Germany between say this particular morrocan fellow and the german kid, were very strong......... also I had that same impression more recently, almost 4 years ago now, in the south of france where I did some more hitchhiking and got a ride from some people, I think one was ethnic French and his friend Arabic or something like that........ I would say race relations in france are quite strong too.......... I definitely think Europe can assimilate these 1 million refugees they just took in

they seem to have reached their limit and are turning back the people now from Greece to turkey and at the end of the day, individuals can supply their needs if they want to through charitable donations or whatever............certainly in Africa there's a lot more problems than that and even in china to some extent........... from the perspective of that result: 1 million refugees walking into Europe, all the way from Afghanistan........ clearly that's a result of all the American military intervention in Afghanistan and later Iraq as a direct result of 9/11/01............ I would say that's a good enough result and I wouldn't worry about getting too involved in Afghanistan if you're not going to eradicate all the opium there and force the people to become miners or something which is basically impossible unless you're china and decide to seize the area and flood it with Han chinese............... I wouldn't touch afghanstan with a  barge poll if I were a policy-maker or in the joint chiefs or something because there's ultimately nothing to achieve there except train soldiers and go nowhere......... just mentioning this in lieu of watching a documentary on the offensive in marjah in 2011 which I'll probably watch again soon ---- also was watching a good documentary from Russia today on heroine addiction in Kabul, Afghanistan, apparently a big deal there now ---

still I guess you know, you have to stay positive --- I mean in my case I can probably get a whole bunch of work driving a truck with a little more experience at my current job and my kids are great and all -- my life isn't so bad......... there's going to be a documtary on tv here soon on the sbs channel about the Vietnam war and how it changed Australia's destiny in terms of migrant intake and social make-up etc............ whenever the American military goes into a place like that, it sure changes the destinies of a lot of nations, that's for sure

this fag's a doctor and i'm stuck driving a bus, can you believe that?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6psfGxfc4lg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ-iiMllXuA


meth too homey
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHW940xrwas

call me cynical

after some soul searching and consideration, one seems to come to the conclusion that the only thing that doesn't offend God when jacking off is looking at a pile of old tires............ go figure --- apparently porn is  not okay

what do I know? i'm turning into an unhappy, grumpy person.......... I'm starting to realize that my wife sucks and babysitting little kids all week long for too many hours is horrible ---- I miss living somewhere more interesting like Spain or somewhere where people aren't totally remote and abnormal weirdos like in Sydney --- maybe it's just me --- i'm waxing too complaining, self-absorbed and whiny --- not sure

it sure does seem like humanity is one big fat joke, that's for sure......... there's a glimmer of light on the horizon though, have been watching some war documentaries lately and that seems interesting enough --- so will proceed with that, currently watching a documentary on some shitty afghani town called marjah which some slimebag douche Taliban use to produce heroine......... who knows how all these military guys in America can say they're so proud to work with the afghanis when they're a bunch of paedophiles - all their warlords like humping teenage boys like Japanese samurais or something --- they suck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9Pq5JZ2Fd8