Tuesday, February 24, 2015

letterman

daves talking to the queen of England so we have mute, no subtitles (m1/2).... She'll talk about scones, horseriding, polo, etc

heres the top ten reasons the Smithsonian should freeze Dave criogenically before he kicks the bucket

number 10, so that someone can be defrosted in two hundred years time and talk about Regis

number 9, hey Randy, you got any cawfee? I had to drive out hiw fwom long island like a putz and now im dying for some cawfee

number 8, in five hundred years he can explain to future generations of Americans why our generation was so stupid

number 7, if we can figure out how to make a time machine we can rescue him from the future then urgently go to 7/11 for Twinkies before Donald Trump buys them all and replaces them with hair replacement clinics

more later, Dave is on and is addressing me personally

actually, he's talking about the 'academy'

number 6, he can watch the sequel to the Muppets movie, midtown Muppets 13, and find out what happened to the count

number five, it paves the way for Colbert to be frozen which means eventually he'll shut his mouth

number four, if nobody figures out how to resucitate Colbert in the future noone will ever have to listen to his bitch arse talking ever again

number three, maybe Colbert will retire to Switzerland where he belongs and the show can go on with Mr T hosting instead

number two, frozen microwave meals wouldn't interest comers to the Smithsonian

number 1, who's number? Numb nuts

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