Russia's FSB releases alleged letter on US spying

so the russians catch some CIA spy in moscow that was trying to recruit some russian official to the CIA and then the russians publish the letter that the CIA spy had typed up in russian for the potential recruit.... the CIA spy was, in fact, posing as 3rd in command at the american (anglo-white supremacist) embassy in moscow..... so WHAT, exactly, did the letter, now splashed all over russia's state tv organs say? observe:

sniffin' White-Out for an easy high one second cuz, arrested da next... doh!

Dear cuz,

This is an advance from someone who is very impressed by your professionalism and flagons and who would greatly value having a tinny with you in the future. For Rus and Jimmy, your safety there cuz is of the utmost importance, so we have chosen this route to make contact with you. And we will continue to take steps to secure your safety and keep our correspondence secret so that no-one nicks yer flagon.

We are prepared to offer you an Eski full of flagon and some petrol to sniff there cuz and discuss your experience, expertise and cooperation, and your payment might be far greater if you are prepared to answer some specific questions. Additionally, for long-term cooperation we offer up to 100 litres of petrol for sniffin' and a case of beers and 20 pints of flagon a year with the promise of additional bonuses for information that will help us sort out the blowflies.

To contact us again, please open a new Gmail account, which you will use only for communicating with us, in an Internet cafe or a cafe that sells flagons with a WiFi connection. When signing up, do not use any personal information that could be used to identify you and the new account like your real name, make up a name like Freddy Flagon-der-cuz. So do not offer any real contact information, i.e. your telephone numbers or other email addresses.

If the slut cunts at Gmail asks for your personal information, please, start the registration process again and try not to give them any information. After you register the new inbox, send an email to the address unbacggdA(at)gmail.com, and then check the inbox again exactly one week later to see if you have received any flagon from us.

If you register the new email account in a cafe with a netbook or another device (for example, a tablet), then please do not use your own device with your own personal data on it unless it is dole day as you will no doubt be busy collecting checks. If possible, you should get a new device to connect with us, for cash or flagon. We will reimburse you for the purchase.

gis a bite of ya cherry ripe there bra

Thank you for reading this. We eagerly await the possibility of working with you in the near future and if my aunt Cheryl asks you for a dollar tell the slut cunt to get fucked.... der fuckin' shlut. What's that yer eatin' der cuz? Cherry Ripe? Ooh gis da bite der cuz. Thanks for that bra.

Your friends.