Taliban confess they were no match for recently released POW Bergdahl at table tennis (ping pong)

Kabul, Rooters

Taliban guys with rocket launchers and zz-top looking beards confess that their prisoner and favorite american dude was basically invincible when it came to table tennis,

"camel polo, soccer, onesies-twosies, flip-flops, ring-around-the-roseys, backgammon, chess, you name it, we could take that guy, but when it came to table-tennis, in five years we never won a game; plus it was winner plays on so like the guy never left the table when it was table-tennis time. He just had the most ferocious forehand, it was like we'd all be deliberating how to beat him, we'd be trying all kinds of things like hitting the ball to his backhand, we even tried heckling him, randomly calling out american things like 'beach boys' and 'fozzie the bear from sesame street!' to try to distract him, but to no avail. Couldn't win one game. Really good table tennis player, unbelievable. That's actually why we decided to release him in the end, there was no way we were gonna beat him at table tennis, it just kind of really got annoying after a year or so, let me tell you."

huzzah!

In other news, the Taliban have captured an american couple out hiking for the day under sunny skies nearby beautiful and picturesque Kabul. The taliban are offering to release them in exchange for a croquet set, Colonel Mustard, a candlestick, everyone left at Guantanamo and some KFC.

i told him let's go to Yosemite for our holiday but no, i'm so disappointed 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbwsXqUpZRU

can russians be taken seriously?

http://news.yahoo.com/won-war-russians-different-view-d-day-145811506.html

lately i took a few looks at some PRAVDA articles.... this is the  modern day pravda..... so a little evolved from the ridiculous soviet times pravda which was a bunch of lies same as the communist government in beijing is spouting all the time...........

unfortunately, it didn't look real good...... i might end up writing them a few emails, telling them how stupid they are........ for starters, they're always seeing the splinter in some imaginary 'west's' eyes and never the log in their own......... they never scrutinize their system of government and i don't know that they even give dissenters like kasparov a voice........ their commentaries seem to be rambling like a blog, e.g,. benji's blog, but not of a serious editorial level, they don't seem to be serious journalists at all

here in australia, it's next to impossible to find serious journalists, this is mostly due to the insular, nepotism of the anglo-saxons here who jealously guard their perceived control of the nation by holding politics and the media in a stranglehold similar to that which the russians yielded over the 'soviet' states but in a much softer, much less violent kind of way

american journalists seem so polarized politically, the commentators anyway, you can hardly bear to listen to the same old partisan propaganda from fox news, limbaugh, et al, you just get bored of it after hearing the mantras over and over again, even if they do make some good points, they're too busy with partisan bickering to waste your time/life listening to them

most tv journalism apart from the rightists in america is dumbed down to a fifth grade level and extremely schmaltzy and not even really news, like GMA, etc.......just info-tainment in bed with all the paedophiles in hollywood that the fbi doesn't act on because they bring out 'hits' like x-men 5 (wow! not really, not going to watch some paedo crap like that)

anyway, back to the russians, are those people some kind of idiot? una especie de imbecil, as the spaniards say?

on an individual level, i can't say much about it, if i take my kid who is quarter russian, to some church activity on a wednesday, i have two choices, anglo church or russian church, i prefer russian church as the russians there seem more interesting, but they're actually christians of sorts and their prior generations managed to avoid the bolsheviks by spending decades in china

i imagine living in russia would be unbearable, despite the potential for delight or interest in the russian soul, because of the sheer ignorance of the people there.......they think with their bolshevik, atheist mindset they have everything worked out.........they pretend leninism and stalinism is NOT a religion! that it is above religion, it is 'IDEOLOGY'........... unbearable......... just unbearable......... no-one can stand such idiots....... i sometimes wonder if it would be wise to spend a year in russia, like a kind of sabatical year, with my family, while my child or future child(ren) are young enough to pick up the language there, and see if it would be interested, but i cannot stand the seeming to know it all but really be utterly ignorant attitude for example of my mother in law who seemed to be an extremely ignorant person to me on many different levels, despite being a fundamentally good and decent person........ i suppose that's a russian paradox, i suppose i'll see how i enjoy going to russian school over the coming months, i'd need to pick up some of their language before any potential trips to russia..... i wouldn't live in spg or moscow either, way too big, and it'd be preferable to carry a gun on my person at all times, unless it was like really hot weather and a gun couldn't be concealed, i don't suppose it's possible for foreigners to carry a gun legally there but i'd definitely want a good glock to protect myself from any potential knife-wielding muggers......that's for sure..... i met a russian girl once from moscow, she was telling me her father would shoot the ceiling of the family apartment in moscow whenever he saw something on tv that annoyed him, if their apartment buildings have concrete walls anywhere near as thick as the soviet styled manzanas in bulgaria then a bullet wouldn't pass through them in those kinds of situations, that's for sure

their language is very similar to bulgarian in many respects, so for example 'fifteen months', for example, is practically the same but aspirated with a more closed mouth in russian, easy to do if you know some french, as the benji does, to make those close-mouthed aspirated sounds...... the first russian word i learnt at my son's school was the word for 'grape' and last lesson they mentioned fry pan, pot, cups, things of that nature

however, i first started studying russian while living with some crips and various homeless african americans in downtown los angeles so i still recall my studies from that time very well.......... bed is 'divan' or maybe that's lounge, it's all the same thing i suppose........ it's 411 in the morning here, so that's where benji is, on the divan, ready to get some sleepy time

BENJI LOVES THE WESTBORO CHURCH!

GUESS WHAT FAGS? God hates you!

what a great message!  and God blew up the space shuttle, and God hates signs, God knows it's all true.... but where are the: God hates Bolsheviks and God hates Russians signs?

Please Westboro church, keep it real! please!

black govt. suv from NSA ominously pulls up outside citizen Geller's home

knock knock, Mr. Geller? We're from the NSA, may we come inside?

what do you mean by 'come' exactly?

Mr. Geller, we noticed you were jacking off to porn on the 12th of february but you didn't finish, there was no climax, can you explain? is that some kind of chinese i-ching thing, to save your energy or something?

How do you know that?

We activated the camera in your computer, you were watching debbie does a slew of different cities but somehow, no happy ending.

The toaster unexpectedly popped, i guess there was like a circuit break in the electrical cable to it, so it just kind of had two toast sitting in it for hours, since like the day before.

We understand. How about the question of your phone call to the 9th circuit court judge of the western circuit?

I'm an architect, the guy wanted balustrades for his staircase.

And you claimed a 501(c) tax deduction for that?

There were ornate buddha heads on either side of the lowest rung, that's religious.

How is it you've contacted the heads of the Chambers of Commerce in fifty different cities?

I consult for a dog washing business, any more questions on the matter i plead the fifth or bill you for consultation work.

Our computers were hacked from one of your IP addresses, what can you tell us about that?

I don't hack, you were probably hacked by some commies from the govt. in China, if you want me to tell you more about it i'll have to bill you for IT consultation.

can five released Taliban be executed by remote control, without a drone?

in this case, possibly no. And Benji isn't advocating killing anyone when we could all come together to sing koom by ya or however it's spelt. However, inspired by da vinci's war machines, one can only assume it would be the simplest thing to implant a small innocuous device into any pow and then cause them to have an innocent looking heart attack at the flick of a switch at some convenient later date.

also, there must be some way to develop a non harmful liquid to add to a local water supply which can be triggered after consumption with electro magnetic waves that can effect death or sleepiness, tiredness, etc. Much better than stymying coal production

U.S. bumbling soldier swapped for 5 Taliban

http://news.yahoo.com/us-concluded-2010-bergdahl-walked-away-185047684--politics.html

it's an interesting story, many soldiers are upset about it because the guy essentially walked away from his Unit which is a punishable offense.... also, apparently a half dozen soldiers were killed looking for him....... in exchange the Taliban get back five of their favorite dudes

the real question, for republicans and democrats and the CIA and the military is: how can you possibly condone the chronic ineptitude and incompetence you have all shown in propping up with millions of dollars the scum of the Earth like Karzai and his criminal government.......... these scumbags, are they Afghan patriots? if they are then i must be one of those dogs that eats its own crap after pooping and licking some other random dog's arsehole (i'm not).........

Karzai and his shitty government need to be locked up or at the very least have ALL OF THEIR stolen cash piled up in the arabian banks FROZEN AND RETURNED TO the u.s. government!

this is no way to run a war! for over a decade! it's a Goddam travesty!!!!

if you're determined to war with Afghanistan, you're essentially going to war with a culture of male superiority over women......that's what the war is about...... you american citizens believe women should get all assets and custody of children after a divorce and believe in your right to have Hilary Clinton as your President (this essentially makes you delusional, naive and ultimately mashochistic).... the Taliban do not belive this

the thing to do was crop dust every last field of heroine poppy to destroy their livelihood and then let them come begging to you for foreign aid......... there wasn't any reason to put soldiers everywhere to kick down families' doors and asks the husbands if they believe in cunnilingus as a way of affirming equal rights for the sexes.... that was your approach from day one albeit in a higglety-pigglety wishy-washy non intentional way

my way would have seen Afghanistan's GDP drop to zero and soldiers would only have been used with the intention of eradicating their blessed opium poppy plantations.....

can Vishnu suck my dick? and how about let's all take a crap on Vishnu

the Supreme Hindu God, Vishnu, is it not, according to the Hindus, a God of Indians only? did it create the Indians only and left all other humankind or humanmeanie to be created by some other God?

This would seem to be the case, Vishnu, as presented by the Indians, seems to be a God of and for Indians only, ready to dispense special favors on the Indians in their quest to be insular and aloof to the point of hostility towards other races......... is it not proper then, for us to ask: 'Can Vishnu suck our dicks' or 'twats' in the case of Madonna and other women...... other pertinent questions seems to be: 'what's with Vishnu today?' and 'does Vishnu hate white people or yellow people or african people?'