withering criticism for samual l jackson's 2014 film 'kingsman'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHhSyJkmjUs

without question, this movie is the worst movie ever made, unquestionably ---- think sucking fucking piece of trash and then multiply that by the biggest number you can imagine and then double that and you wouldn't be close to a mere amoeba of proportion of how badly and horribly this movie stinks

imagine if the greatest minds of NASA, the Russian space agency too, whatever that's called..... all of the world's most elite scientists working with trillions of dollars of funding, trying to make a worse movie, and they wouldn't be able to do it

is it a fluke? it must be.......... that's not to say that everyone involved in this movie shouldn't immediately repent and try to save themselves from an afterlife in hell spent smearing turds all over eachother and eating them and saying 'delish!', 'deslish!' and slapping eachother on the back, for seemingly ever............. surely this is the destiny of anyone involved in such a horrendous movie

to begin to imagine how far Jackson has gone backwards from star wars movies or pulp fiction to this freak of existence called a movie, 'kingsman', take baby steps.......... pulp fiction is great, right? and then Jackson was in Jackie brown and we all know that movie blew and was kind of just made for queers and homos to admire, so we could say Jackson took maybe a thousand or more steps backwards from fiction to brown, in terms of going backwards............but how far backwards did he go from star wars to so-called 'kingsman'?  only quantum physics could explain it most likely, but let's use an analogy.... you know that they say if you shrunk our sun down to the size of a basketball, then the earth would be the size of a pea, and Jupiter would be the size of maybe a golf ball, and the pea would be twenty yards or whatever away from the basketball and pluto would be smaller than a grain of rice and a mile away from the basketball, give or take................. well now, having walked backwards a mile from the basketball to pluto rice...........Jackson would still need to continue walking backwards all the way across America from east to west, then back again twice, then walk on up to the Yukon backwards, board a ferry, go to Vladivostok, walk backwards all the way to paris, and he still wouldn't come close to how far backwards he's gone from star wars to so-called 'kingsman'

I cannot even hope to use words to convey to you just how pathetically shit this movie is......... consider though, if you turned on your cell phone camera, drove by a school for in-bred retarded kids and threw a Rubik's cube into the front yard of the school with a note attached saying: 'goodluck making all six sides the same color dummies,' somewhat callously, as it were, that wouldn't be a real great movie, would it? be honest............similarly if you were to tape a go-pro camera to your nutsack and take a dump in a relatively modest restroom, that wouldn't be considered a great movie either now would it? of course not, either way, both of those films would outdo the so-called 'kingsman' in every regard

it is simply stupefying how incredibly shit this movie is, it is simply in a class of its own............ it could be studied by sociologists on other planets, studying Earth life, as a way of showing them exactly what is wrong with our planet's citizens and then speculation could begin on how many hundreds of thousands of millennia it will require to fix it

nothing you have ever seen that you thought was 'surreal', like the 9/11 terrorist attacks or oliver stone's 'w', can remotely prepare you for the inescapable reality of outrageously ridiculous stupidity that this movie foists on you

if words cannot explain it, and neither can pictures, surely only the impression left on your mind, the assault of your consciousness, as it were, will prove to you that sometimes, words and pictures fail one in one's attempt to describe something one knows clearly

this film is symbolises a complete and utter abomination..........more than anything ever created by man, this film fulfils Nietzsche's (or 'Fred's') vision of the 'last man', before the superman, a painful embarrassment or laughing stock............ may God have mercy on your souls

(perhaps Guillermo Maddison says it best:    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQCU36pkH7c)


did the creators of Kingsman have help from chronically inept Australian education policy makers and dodgy Australian educators???

http://www.smh.com.au/national/education/unique-college-130-million-a-huge-number-for-a-school-on-top-of-a-shop-20160714-gq5tqw.html