hey Wednesday mornings is pretty much the only daytime benji me time benji gets as it's the only day both kids are in daycare concurrently........... this is only the second time benji has been able to be all by himself like this at home with all the comforts that home has to offer --- it's a cold winter day, the weather became very cold yesterday --- but still maybe 10 degrees Celsius -- outside some worktrucks are inexplicably working on replacing an incredibly small patch of bitumen outside our building, not sure if it's a local govt. but guessing it is as it relates to bitumen belonging to public roads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rJgMM78zxM (watch how quickly celine dion can destroy your brain's supply of dopamine and serotonin)
you'd think benji would spend the time just jacking off to lesbian porn, but in fact today instead, we just watched 'a deadly adoption' - hallmark kind of movie - very melodramatic and thrilling -- kind of like the made for tv movies you see at 3pm with actors from soap operas that have scandalous, bold and the beautiful kind of demeanours
a lot of people would think, gee will ferrell and Kirsten wigg making a hallmark movie, won't it be a spoof? benji wouldn't think that way though because benji doesn't find Kirsten wigg funny (she's sexy though, that's for sure) that's because she's part Norwegian and benji is afraid of northern Europeans in general on the hunt for liebensraum (that's german for living space)
will ferrell is memorable as a comedian, but only for playing a guy that goes to funerals to pick up women, so there isn't much bias with regard to prior careers and benji is pretty much just watching this movie as a kind of hallmark movie
as such, this movie is very cool...... it starts out really painting of picture of some characters in a quiet little idyllic town that you would imagine in Colorado or somewhere like that, I would imagine that, but I've never actually been to Colorado though...... the wife, played by Kirsten wigg runs a little organic fruit stand with an incredibly good looking guy who you imagine is gay because there's no way he'd be working so closely with wigg if he wasn't as they'd just end up shtooping each other stupid.... a couple of spoilers, the gay guy Charlie, gets shot, he's super good looking and so is seth McFarlane (who isn't actually in the movie though), but you won't see either of them with Brazilians (hairdos, not people), shaved chests, kind of smearing strawberry jam into eachother's muscles and breathing heavily while they attach electrical plugs to their nipples, just saying.......... oh and Charlie gets shot dead later in the movie - just mentioned that....... similarly, Kirsten wiig is a hot little momma but you won't see her husband chaining her to horizontal bars and then beating her and then penetrating her while she moans like something out of 50 shades of grey......... having said all of that, you won't be disappointed by this little gem of a movie!
it's a strange premise, the hubby, played by Farrell, that sings that song, happy, is a financial adviser, he has a drinking problem: his wife is drowning and the water is going down the wrong pipe! that's hubby's problem because he doesn't want her to die: they love each other! he's not out for the insurance money...... he solves his drinking problem by rescuing her from drowning, that's right at the start of the movie, immediately afterwards, a foxy woman that looks like someone out of a Maybelline commercial (like a model addicted to cocaine and champagne for breakfast that is) comes to their house to audition for the part of surrendering her baby to the parents who are looking to adopt a second child........... for the next 25 minutes until the movie switches from 2nd to 4th and 5th gears after clearing a crest, you're kind of thinking the dad wants to shtoop the pregnant Maybelline momma who is coming from a homeless shelter and interested in avoiding homeless people for a while........ it's all kind of silly but it's a melodrama so you just enjoy it, it's all really well done....... the main question during these 25 minutes is: how can Charlie be so good looking? would he and McFarlane ever consider doing an x rated movie again (like maybe they've already done one together in my mind - just sayin'), would you want to shtoop Maybelline lady if you were pops, considering she's six months pregnant? (you need to be over 40 to appreciate this movie)......... why doesn't pops have a bondage room for wiig who is smoking hot? what would a sandwich with a non pregnant Maybelline lady and wiig be like........ those are the key questions
the way this movie is structured, you kind of clear this crest and then boom, the plot starts revealing all these cards one by one, Maybelline lady is a psycho, she's not even pregnant, she's just crazy obsessed with pops who is mildly famous, like a stalker..........then, even more bizarrely, it turns out that he knocked her up, committing adultery, during a book tour some time back and that she lost the baby and also wiig lost a child too (that was part of his drinking problem, see earlier) -- so all of a sudden pops is like your typical muslim fair haired, blue-eyed northern European looking guy with two wives, some dead foeti and a beautiful 6 year old daughter, who, unfortunately, has diabetes..... later Maybelline lady will kidnap her, reunite with her trailer trash boyfriend who is dying for half a million dollars from pops who writes books on the economy...........the police in the little town are busy hiding behind pillars at black lives matter rallies, dodging bullets, or something so they kind of arrive late to all the action-y kind of things so typically, wiig has to shoot Maybelline lady dead at the end......... Farrell is scared of the water because of his drinking problem but has to ride a boat anyway to save his daughter from Maybelline lady..... anyway, it's all real good, this was a really entertaining kind of melodrama movie like you'd see around 3pm when the soap operas are on
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| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_z-adsJjmE |
oh yeah, at the end of the movie, the little girl, sully, who is being kidnapped again by Maybelline lady, isn't wearing a seat belt, neither is Maybelline lady, however, when Maybelline lady crushes her car into the bridge driving at 10 miles an hour, she is practically half dead, but sully doesn't going flying into the windscreen inexplicably -- just sayin'
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