hollywood happenings with your host, benji

see that picture? that's how most of the people Benji deals with see him, just a bundle of drawn back hair and a neck and some cheek, like an over the shoulder shot, but the left shoulder -- while Benji drives - hopefully they aren't jerking eachother off..... in that picture it's actually Reese Witherspoon and an absolutely marvellous movie, Pleasantville......... Witherspoon is coming out now with two new movies, one called Wild which seems to be a biopic about Courtney Love...... secondly, some movie about african child soldiers, all grown up, from Sudan......... also Ridley Scott is coming out with a big special effects movie about Moses which could be very promising

another biblical film this year was Noah, which we haven't seen, due to being a hater, or whatever, which didn't look as great as Moses is looking...... Russell Crowe also appeared in a french revolution musical, les miserables, the movie -- the trailer for that on the big screen did look pretty good

not really sure much else about Witherspoon and Crowe's careers or personal lives, apart from Crowe got a divorce and am wondering if his wife was one of my buddies at film school -- although don't really care........and Witherspoon got pulled over by some cops on the freeway somewhere in america........ one of my schoolmates in university in spain later ended up marrying Alejandro Sanz, the famous latin-world singer.........so i wouldn't at all be surprised if one particular film school classmate here in sydney, 15 years ago, did end up marrying Russell Crowe, but don't really care anyway

what's clear is that these people, Sanz, Crowe, Witherspoon, Scott, know how to make movies and videoclips and things of such nature and get paid for it......... unfortunately, Benji is just not really capable of that, hence Benji drives a cab and the aforementioned sip pena coladas and get paid to have fun acting in movies.........such is life

one of the reasons Benji cannot be a successful filmmaker is his lack of marketable ideas, here's an example: wouldn't it be absolutely magnificent to see Crowe and Witherspoon in the same movie, together, as leading parts..........up until there, i'm sure anybody would agree with me: audience, bankroller, important (ashkenazi) Jew in casting agency in LA and NYC, respected anglo-saxon thespian in London and New Zealand.......... all the afore-mentioned would absolutely agree with me: put Witherspoon and Crowe together and watch the money wagons pull into the station and the happy viewers swipe their credit cards at the dvd machine or hand over cash for exhorbitant popcorn at the cinema..........

however, it is after this premise that Benji is no longer capable of competing with these big-screen bread winners, for a successful writer would craft a tail of the two perhaps being hunted down while on a camping trip by some crazy thugs or something, or perhaps high end lawyers who find out their boss is embezzling funds or god knows what scenario, it's amazing to think these two are never seen in the same movie........... unfortunately, Benji's ideal movie with the two would ruin both of their careers, possibly cause a global financial crisis and general meltdown in human confidence, etc, due to how amazingly terrible it would be.... it would be such a bad film, the reviewers at Rotten Tomatoes would actually experience heart attacks in their frenzy to express their shock and disbelief that such a bad film were possible, it would, in fact, be like the car that Homer invents in that memorable Simpsons episode:

the homer

in my film, both would play a married Australian couple, Crowe would be legless from the mid-thigh down and play a high court magistrate or just a local court magistrate, Witherspoon would play the captain of the Australian women's cricket team, the year would be around 1965 and it would be set in Australia and everyone, including Witherspoon, would have real Australian accents...... ideally Witherspoon would turn into a blood-sucking vampire and Crowe's character would turn a blind eye to it due to feeling alienated in his marriage to Witherspoon's character.........there could possibly be a cold-war scandal, with the Witherspoon cricket playing vampire character possibly attacking a Russian Diplomat from the USSR who later turns out to be a spy anyway........ this is the kind of movie i would enjoy for years until being able to finally understand that it's possibly not a great movie......... unfortunately, perhaps, it would never get made

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jp0Xe1Hg1dw  (tobey tear-wiper)

where's tobey macguire to wipe my tears when i'm having a bad day (like today!) -- he's not here in person! bitch! oh well, at least i can watch the 'fury' trailer with brad pitt and be proud of not getting a hard-on despite his extremely good looking macho persona in the flick

that 'fury' movie looks pretty cool, brad and all the tanks there and the nazi germans too....... benji recently made a short montage featuring a tank however no-one watches it.... just like that character from the eleanor rigby song.............      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YA8bEGM8EgQ

moving on, the coen brothers.........weren't they the guys that did the big lebowski? they have real potential those guys........ one time, in spain, some spaniard guy was telling me that he liked the new (at the time) george lucas star wars movie (episode 1 or 2) but that he wanted to see more special effects of the type where the two Jedis run at super distance covering a quarter mile in a flash...... in a similar way, it would be good to see the Cohen brothers come up with some kind of exploitative and audacious personalities, kind of reflective of the absurd and comedic (but highly entertaining) relationship between the blonde skater in Blades of Glory and his adoptive father who is a hedge fund manager and only adopts him to use him like a hedge fund manager uses an asset

ok so youtubing them it turns out they were associated with angelina jolie's movie 'unbroken' which i'm pretty sure was filmed in large part here in sydney some months ago....... so clearly they are not looking at something comedic with that but really kind of dramatic..... but they did seem to have that movie with the horny jew woman, can't remember which one now.........

God what a horrible day with my kid today, being a stay at home dad on days off isn't always like an episode of 11th heaven --- here's how i felt today dealing with my kid, like the sarge in this tv commercial

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaFy0x_Uixo

what a lousy guilt trip, just cannot stand to deal with the kid today anymore or his mother, thank God for the Bengali lady that's taking care of him right now - i don't want to have a relationship like the drill sargent therapist and wussy yellow guy in this tv commercial with this kid when he gets older...... maybe i'll fall off my bike and die in a hospital (not a plan) actually i don't want that to happen -- didn't get enough sleep --- if i were a 1% i could get a nanny -- i bet Sofia Vergara can have like 20 nannies, actually if i went off to live in Indonesia i could have 20 nannies too as $100 a month is a good wage there........... did you know when i was living in china i could have hired a monthly personal assistants for about $300 a month?