did that person's momma REALLY lose all that weight???? oh my God!

for ethical reasons, we can't name the person whose momma lost all that weight, but the amount of weight lost is literally STAGGERING,

observe this mystery person's momma on the left wearing a malcolm x t-shirt while floating on the water at the beach, she is literally so fat, a helicopter can land on the x on her malcolm x t-shirt and even some navy type guys can stand near her belly button there and usher it in, notice the dramatic weight shed on the right:

               


wow!!! right?? who would have thunk it???

again, on the left, same momma, mistaken for a beached whale, on the right, dramatic weight loss is evident:

momma mia! is that really the same woman? is that what a little acai berry can do? oh my God. Before you say, STOP already, just look at what most people would think is actually the three gorges dam in China, the world's biggest dam: (hint, it's actually the same woman pictured above - mystery person's previously fat momma):

on the left, getting mistaken for the three gorges dam in china when lying down on a river bank, on the right, just plain gorgeous! what a dramatic weight loss.... so just remember that next time someone tells you how fat yo' momma is

oh btw it's Benji's birthday, 38 today, really need to stop smoking!

rush and beck review

hey people, you'll have to hang on Benji's words in the crapping on chests departments, suffice it to say for now that we are not referring to babies crapping while laying on a holder's chest when we refer to crapping on chests, we are talking about adults consenting to crap on one another's chests in the literal sense, not in a metaphorical way, also we are not referring to adults as 17 year olds or 18 year olds but those 21 years and over......... for now, while meditating on the topic of crapping on chests, you might like to consider the movie 'puti tang' by chris rock, et al, which is a great comedy movie, there's a scene where puti tang, who is so hip and fly, is able to release a song for mass consumption which features no music or sound of any kind, people are happy to listen to this 3 minutes of silence because it's from puti tang and he is so fly.... similarly, a tree falling in a forest where there are no ears to hear it makes a similar sound to puti tang's song, and so can a crap on someone's chest, something for you to consider until we take up this topic in earnest, just remember, Hitler had his jew talk, Jesus had the kingdom of heaven to talk about, Einstein had special relativity, Benji gives you crapping on chests, more later

on to limbaugh and glen beck

beck's program wasn't particularly memorable, a kind of white noise or muzak in the elevator affair, not a bad result for beck who is like one of those teams in the english premiere league soccer that always kind of finishes in the middle so you never kind of even remember their name

limbaugh, while a likable guy, unfortunately, there's this polarized kind of punditry in some of the american main stream media and if you tune in to, say, saun hannity, you just get a bunch of bitching all the time until you reach saturation point and you don't have time for it anymore.... better to do muzak talk like beck....... with limbaugh, he's actually capable of making a few jokes and has a homely/folksy approach and he's all on his own out there, doing his own thing and he's not too bad to listen too but once he starts with the bulldog clamping down on white fang, you really get sick of it (to quote jack london) and kind of start thinking of the democrats as white fang and hoping they can get something they want like locking up people in internment camps for not wanting to be gay or whatever it is they want these days (it changes everyday, they're experiencing a constant kind of identity crisis one supposes)..... the clippers guy took a lot of shit all round on the radio but i'll tell you straight, anderson cooper is a fag and fags are at way higher risk of contracting hiv and that's a scientific fact, the science behind it is that anal penetration is likely to coz blood vessels to rupture leading to admixture of blood and semen, easy transfer of hiv due to blood vessel rupture, this is science......... i wouldn't be at all surprised if magic johnson is a big slut and i'm sure half or more of the nba are massive sluts as are a great many professional athletes due to being placed on a phoney pedestal due to people being unable to find a meaningful spiritual dimension in their lives and seeking satisfaction through group identification activities like identifying with a sports team (worshiping false idols)........ skin color is irrelevant as is race........the point the clipper guy was making is that being a slut is not a good example for children, it's not good to mock the elderly, even if the clippers guy is a douche...... it's a pity he apologized at all, i wouldn't have, not if someone took my private words and made them public like that, i would actually sue the person for doing that and then sue the nba for availing themselves of that, but since the government in america is setting an example of disrespecting people's privacies, to coin a new word if we have to, then it's another ben franklin quote, about people not deserving liberties or freedoms..........

this brings us to rush's bullshit about boka haram or whatever they're called, this is all bullshit rush, angelina jolie needs to worry about paedophiles in hollywood that she is working cheek and jowl with, we don't need michael jackson singing about 'healing the world and making it a better place for kids', we need the media to spotlight any involvement he may have had in raping minors as has been alleged...... we don't need anymore hollywood types coming with saving the caged chicken and the bottled water from israel and all the bullshit, we need pressure on the media and hollywood entertainers to come clean about the skeletons in their closet.... unfortunately, there's a lot of money at stake and the left-wing media is in bed with hollywood and therefore complicit in hollywood's paedophilia crisis which is now full fledged because i said so, so worry about that angie, and maybe brad's din dins and don't worry about boka haram

and you limbaugh, don't start insanely and twistedly trying to shine a microscope on it, even blind freddy can see that the big issue is that the dems and obama have done nothing in syria, no-one except for some spin doctors at downing street and some other dumb clods around the place care about 200 kidnapped kids in nigeria, we care about 1.5 million syrians and 150,000 syrian dead, a lot more than 200 kids, just look at the numbers, unfortunately, the media is like Narcissus, obsessed with its reflection which includes hollywood's paedophile black magic scandal issue/ same as the catholic church's.......

anyway, you just got served again, thank Benji later, and remember pooty tang

movie review: Ted (2012-2014)

before returning to the topic of crapping on chests, we'll quickly review this Seth McFairlane movie:

Ted is a toy bear and Mark is a real chicken, both of them are busy working at a Chinese factory in communist china testing the drinking water for battery acid for the i-pod phone makers..... Ted insists this is dangerous and only a matter of time before he and Mark die from tainted water, therefore they should immediately pretend they are born again Christians so that they arouse government suspicion and are relieved from their duties which will involve certain death, Mark agrees, they run a search on Google about Christianity and spend a few days studying some basic things then go to work and start handing out flyers and telling the foreign guests to the factory from America that Jesus will save them

the Chinese bosses are infuriated and bring Mark and Teddy to the big boss..... the big boss smokes cigars and tells Mark and Teddy that Christianity is banned in China but that he likes their spirit and will give them some options: a) go to Melbourne, Australia and wash the boss' son's Nissan Z while he takes care of the new University the big boss bought for him; b) go to Washington DC with his other son and work pimping out prostitutes for government lobbyists, the big boss says he's sympathetic to democracy; c) prepare to be surrendered up to the authorities in Beijing where death by torture is likely.........Mark and Teddy ask for some time to think and the big boss says sure just as his steaming tray of clams arrive.... Teddy sees a mini-train track for laundry and a sign above it says: Laundry tunnel to North Korea, which Teddy thinks says: 'Free beer', so he pushes Mark into the last mini-train-carriage full of dirty towels just before it disappears into a tunnel

Mark and Teddy wake up some time later in North Korea, some of the workers there think they look delicious and it appears the two will be eaten but then an authority person tells the hungry looking underlings that Mark and Teddy aren't dried grass and cockroaches but foreign spies so not to eat them..... Mark and Teddy are taken to the President for questioning and he is suspicious but would like to use both of them for his plan to destabilize Western democracy which he feels is very threatening by going to France and abolishing the French language and substituting it for free cheese shaped like little French hexagons marketed as 'Hexagons'...... their plan works and  the Nation of France is under their control a year later and nobody in France is allowed to teach children French anymore and instead the French are encouraged to speak English or German or some other language or just grunt instead....  the President of North Korea feels like this can start a domino effect, toppling western democracy once and for all..... Mark and Teddy are offered to be raped by an old, drunken French man however Mark does not feel it would be rape and is happy to acquiesce without the drunken old French man thinking it would be rape, after this Mark the chicken disappears and a man presents himself to Teddy and says he is Mark but has been transformed from a chicken to a man by a magic ray........ Teddy is skeptical but Mark's personality hasn't changed and anyway Ted is too busy keeping cheese production levels high and distribution on time, so he tells Mark to try and destabilize the German economy as this will help him with his cheese plan,

Ted receives a call from the big boss from the i-pod/i-phone factory in China, he has heard Teddy is a big success and would like to know if he can supply him with battery acid for his baby powder for export to America as calcium is expensive, Ted looks out the window and sees a newspaper headline saying: New EU Initiative: Free battery acid, 1000 tons to first fifty callers, Ted cannot give the big boss a definitive answer as he must be one of the first fifty callers so he uses a chinese expression (they are speaking chinese) to intimate an ambiguous answer, i can ride a bi-cycle, so can you, the jade destiny is written in the stars, chocolate mint is delicious, everyone knows it...... the big boss responds: ok, no problem...... Ted calls back five minutes later and says: I have 1000 tons of battery acid, when would you like it delivered?

Mark walks in and tells Ted that Michael Jackson has just arrived to coach the French Eurovision entrance, Michael says once he learnt children were involved he had to help foster the talent, the French team win Eurovision by grunting, after that they are taken to be geniuses, they publish many books and go around the world grunting on tv and everyone thinks they are really deep and clever, they sell many albums..... tourism in France also rises dramatically after the French people resort to grunting after refusing to learn English or German and not being able to resist the Hexagon cheese snackies, some of which come with a free drinky, everyone thinks the French have become friendlier and smarter after they take up grunting as a form of communication, occasionally an airplane falls out of the sky but apart from that their Nation does great

Ted's office door is burst open by a group of irate French thespians who complain that titans of French literature like Hugo and so forth has been ruined by his cheese, Ted tells them to buy some chains and bang them on the floor, take a dump on the stage floor after that if they have to, the people will love it, theatre goers are dumber than a sack of hammers these days, just get the f*ck out of [my] office before [i] kick your arses down the stairs

the plot is obviously wide open for a sequel

(four and a half stars)

crapping on chests

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFo8-JqzSCM


the entire topic of crapping on chests is huge..... by addressing it, i'm really invoking the spirit of Marty from Back to the Future when he starts playing his guitar in front of all the kids from the 50s and even the black pioneers of Rock music are blown away by his futuristic guitar solos..... we can safely assume, that when Benji touches on crapping on chests, that he is addressing people many generations hence, and today's person would be left flummoxed and bewildered by it..... nevertheless, there is a precedent for this topic which is most usually dealt with by the South Park people and, perhaps, secondarily by the Seth McFarlane people, i have tried contacting both of the aforementioned to discuss the topic, with a blow-torch and told them not to bring any clothes and that we could be friends forever, just meet me by the old swamp behind old man finnegan's home, but never got a response.... no matter

when it comes to crapping on chests, my middle name's Marti

in fact, before i even get to this topic, in my next posting, i'm just going to crack my knuckles and crack my neck bone a little and maybe do some warm up laps and some bend and stretch exercises, crouch down, crack my knees (they almost always crack upon squatting) and then maybe do some upper torso limbering exercises and thus build myself up to it

little known american comedienne causes a stir by taking up taboo topic of crapping on folks' chests

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GA3a15xF0c

little known american comedienne, sister wakely, or sumfin' has struck a raw nerve by dragging the generally taboo and swept under the carpet issue of dumping and being dumped on one's chest for personal reasons into the light (no pun intended)

for centuries now, the practice of paying a whore or just a general 'dumper' to evacuate stool ('poop' or 'take a shit' on one's own chest) has been a common practice in europe and america.... with the advent of cannonballs, this practice become extinguished under napoleon, however, in america, the practice has not diminished but increased, in colonial times it's rumored that Jefferson, Adams, Washington, Franklin and others were willing to pay slaves, prostitutes, landed gentry, anyone they could, to take a steaming dump on their own chests as a form of therapy

today, the practice is common among those in difficult positions of authority such as policemen, politicians, it's rumored that all of the ivy league deans and staff are having their chests crapped on at least twice a year.... this is generally a practice preferred by men (being crapped on their own chest), but scientists are now studying whether the practice can help alleviate breast cancer and cramping in women......

anyway more later bitches

about David

many westerners and Christians and Jews and Moslems would recognize various things about the famous ruler in Palestine, David, a central figure to Jews and one that features prominently in the old testament of the christians, which is a sacred book among the Jews..... however, it is unlikely that today's westerner, whether he's a moslem, jew or christian, could easily imagine having over six wives.... maybe a non-western moslem with four wives could understand this, maybe a saudi..... but in the west, the practice of polygamy is practically a taboo, it's difficult for us to imagine David's times............ below is a quote from Wikipedia about David committing adultery and then having his girlfriend's husband murdered (David is in a position of authority on a temporal level:


David committed adultery with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite.^[12] Bathsheba became pregnant. David sent for Uriah, who was with the Israelite army at the siege of Rabbah, so that he could sleep with his wife and conceal the identity of the child's father. Uriah refused to do so while his companions are in the field of battle and David sent him back to Joab, the commander, with a message instructing him to ensure that Uriah died in battle. David married Bathsheba and she bore his child, "but the thing that David had done displeased the Lord."^[13] The prophet Nathan confronted David, saying: "Why have you despised the word of God, to do what is evil in his sight? You have smitten Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and have taken his wife to be your wife." Nathan presented three punishments from God. First, that the "sword shall never depart from your house" (2 Samuel 12:10); second, that "Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight", and finally, that "the son born to you will die"

It's an interesting story, with regard to the linking of David to Jesus, the Jews are quite right to reject this, it is utterly fallacious the most of it, i find it extremely unlikely that Jesus' mother, Mary, was descended from king David, primarily because Mary was an Essene and a gentile and not a Jew and Jesus' father is God and God is not a Jew either, what's interesting is to consider what kind of DNA Jesus received from his Father (God or some kind of Godhead important spiritual power for Good 'the Holy Spirit').... whatever DNA Jesus got from his Father, must have only strengthened his Faith to invoke natural laws (miracles) and to avoid sin..... the notion that Jesus was jewish is utterly fallacious and is like saying a Canadian is a U.S. citizen because both of them are North Americans, the custom in Jesus' time was for everyone to submit to local jewish rule which meant getting circumcised, the alternative today for non jews in Israel, is to submit to Jewish rule, however it probably no longer requires circumcision but Jews still run the show there as they did 2000 years ago.

The lives of David, a jew, and Jesus, an aryan gentile with half his DNA from God, probably not jewish DNA either, couldn't be any more opposite and it's difficult again to understand the ignorance that seeks to combine and link these two characters together in a worldly sense..... chalk it up to garble.....the two could not be any more different in a wordly way.......David is a sinner (compared to Jesus) and is a ruler (Jesus is not), has many wives (Jesus had none), many children (Jesus had none), is enmeshed in politics and warring and ruling, Jesus isn't......... the two just are not similar at all...... Jesus' legacy today is primarily in various churches which are completely optional these days, most western people find the idea of a man being born from a divinely impregnated virgin to be alien but think nothing of being fat and watching stupid tv shows all day long, in India, this idea is nothing new and Krishna is also said to have been born the same way, which, in fact, he was.

But really, all we wanted to say, not really mentioned above, although we mentioned the above in case it's of interest to you, the reader, what we really wanted to say about the quote from wikipedia, if this is true, that God is displeased by David's actions, it begs the question: is God ever really pleased, and how can we please God?........ let's put it more scientifically, and say that by harmonizing with Cosmic Laws, God is pleased, in other words, by living in Harmony with Cosmic Law, this is Good, by living in disharmony with Cosmic Law, this is bad....... putting it like this takes away the idea of a personal fat guy with a beard kind of Jewish slob of a God and instead gives us the notion of a giant microwave emitting broadcast tower of a God that is emitting vibrations left, right and center, which you either harmonize with and triumph, or your dog eats your instruction manual and you fail............ this then, begs the question again, is God ever really pleased?

If God is always so displeased, shouldn't we just chop our fingers off, offer them up to God and say, "there, are you happy now bitch?" Is God an angry african-american woman? in other words, not a nice one like Oprah, but a really sassy, bitter, angry one? Often it does in fact seem that that is the case......... we should offer God some KFC and compliment God on her looks despite her being obviously overweight and give God some Beyonce CDs and God will be pleased because God is just an angry, fat, african american woman that drove her good for nothing husband away and feeds her children coca-cola for breakfast, lunch and tea and voted for Obama coz he's black...........

in fact, in the Bible, Jesus even says: if your eye offends you, pluck it out......... see, God will be pleased by this because God hates you, and if you're happy, it won't last, you'll end up dying anyway and you won't remember a moment of your happiness, your happiness is meaningless, and if you suffer, at least God will be pleased, being (at least in part), an african american woman that hates everything and everyone (except for Oprah because she's rich and has Gayle who also has a positive disposition due to being extremely wealthy)

THE PRICE IS WRONG BITCH

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1g22I_UvWg   (happy gilmore)


wow, talk about a slow news day in the american news cycle, see i told you every 2 or 3 months, they look to destroy someone and feast on it like a fallen gazelle by a waterhole in africa, a pack of lions and hyenas, they got their nigger hater clipper guy and now they are satiated and it's a very slow moment

perfect time for Joe Biden to remind people that he still exists...... i think him and Obama are doing a commendable job decrying sexual assault in the military and now at universities, i approve; however, in case you don't know, nowadays if there is violence in a marriage in america, there's every chance the perpetrator is a female...... so not sure about Biden talking about kicking men's arses for beating their wives

if i be permitted to adopt a sarcastic, and possibly obnoxious tone, are you saying Joe, that if i were to front up to Obama, Snoop Dogg, Shaq, the Black Panthers and the NAACP and ask them if they're having a swell day on planet jigaboo, bitches? (lil old whiteboy cracker moi), that that would be racist and wrong, but it's okay for all the paedos in Hollywood to rape minors so long as the victims are white and the perps carry on making entertaining movies but spousal violence is not okay? is that what you're saying Joe?

ANDREW! your intensity is for shit! you have to win! WIN! WIN! WIN!

why don't we just build a new train line across america, with only one destination stop in West Hollywood somewhere, and call the station: 'Paedos-ville'? And we can just get all the messed up teenage whiteboys in middle America that are confused because they find a statue of David to be a beautiful work of art and that must mean they're gay, why don't we just pack them all up into a train like the jews in Poland and just send them over to the end of the line, Paedos-ville and let all the deviots in Hollywood drug them and rape them and go ahead and make some A-list movies after that, would that keep you happy Joe?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/29/joe-biden-sexual-assault_n_5235811.html