Of the many pitfalls of living in Australia

 

Australians are seriously fucked up people, generally speaking. Growing up amongst blue collar hillbillies, I was aware of early facts:

All Australians actually enjoy, or do not know better than to present themselves as stupid hillbillies. It was obvious outside the ghetto that even the wealthy well heeled Australians delighted in acting like hillbillies and cared little for intellectualism except where it could be used to act bitchy.

Inside the ghetto, the threat was a physical attack from some loose cannon. Outside the ghetto, in Australia, it seemed a silent struggle in the souls of the Australians played secretly in they bosoms: should they seek a banal, hillbilly good life? Or should they pursue bitchiness beyond all else, the way an American chooses between the pursuit of happiness and bragging. Since Australians never cared to brag and delighted in bitchiness, they diverged from the American, many of whom they excelled in earning money, burning CO2, and so forth.

 

Certainly it appeared the boring, banal, often maddeningly boring hillbilly existence would triumph. But then came internet and the smartphone. The Australian no longer had to merely say dean instead of teen and act all innocent while breaking laws and robbing the poor and what infractions have you. Now with internet and social media, the Devil was free to sow narcissism and jealousy in the hillbilly soul of the idiot masses. And so they fell headlong into woke culture and bitchiness. And social media enabled that, consuming them, until like Tolkien's Smeagol, devoured by the Ring of Power, the Australian woman had social media, the ABC news channel, 'foodie' (football pronounced with a 'd' - not even real football, but merely hillbilly trash). The hillbilly swiped right and left and liked its neighbour's fake social media site. Swallowing drugs. Until it woke up one day like Gollum, searching for its precious. And there she was, Brittany Higgins with her rape saga years and years and years, dragging on. The rabble accused daily of being wife beaters and would be terrorists. 

Being a nutjob in any case, the Australian like a frog slowly boiled in water, did not understand its predicament. Overly bitchy? Hillbilly, dean? What does it all mean? Best to not act misogynistic but emasculated and talk like a fag for good measure.

To simplify everything the government created all powerful, all inclusive new ministries:

The ministry of unrestricted college degrees so long as you pay $100,000, no need to speak Engrish.

The ministry for all disabled people: NDIS. EVERYONE is entitled to be disabled/autistic and get $335 per week for that.

The ministry for blaming all men for being sadistic wife beaters and would be terrorists (formerly the ABC government funded - $1 billion) news channel. 

Unsurprisingly, this model lead to zero productivity, treading water, in conjunction with horrendous Democrat Party governance in America, raising the cost of living, including building materials, through the roof. Producing socialism.

The ministry for sheep, woke culture, drug abuse and pop culture. Very popular with police and the public as it makes them feel like good little sheep. Their chief shepherd is the hillbilly redneck Kyle Sandilands and his redneck hillbilly dopey buddy Jackie O'Hillbilly.

Ministry for the complete incapacity to produce any kind of meaningful culture. Formerly the ministry of fugg off yer farken shlut.

Ministry for lesbians (formerly ministry for education).  

Ministry for acting even cringier than possibly ever, ay? (Self explanatory)

Ministry for talking like a fag or bitch or both or straight up redneck hillbilly.

Ministry for my great grandad put first Australians in concentration camps and taught them petrol sniffing and suicide, you're just a greaseball wogball. And other related Anglo Saxon nepotism affairs.