cue the music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gho77Y7TcL4
Dear Mrs Alvarez,
By way of introduction, I'm an acquaintance of your husband Benjamin. He and I studied at St Mary's Senior High School many moons ago.
He contacted me last year after the passing of his beloved mother to help him manage his relationship with his sister Trish. At the
time he was extremely upset as he had been left with a mountain of work to take care of (settling his mother's Estate) and was
emotionally upset about the particular circumstances of his mother's passing (which was especially exacerbated by her mental health issues).
On top of this, he was not happy about having to deal with his sister, with all the stress he was under, so he reached out to me for help. He also
felt extremely unsupported by you and his friends and acquaintances and subsequently had to engage in long hours of counselling for his own wellbeing. I was able to help him with dealing with his sister Trish by liasing with her directly and then establishing a representative chosen by her to deal with me about settling their family Estate. I also was able to recommend a good local lawyer that was able to help Benjamin organize the settlement of his mother's Estate.
He contacted me last year after the passing of his beloved mother to help him manage his relationship with his sister Trish. At the
time he was extremely upset as he had been left with a mountain of work to take care of (settling his mother's Estate) and was
emotionally upset about the particular circumstances of his mother's passing (which was especially exacerbated by her mental health issues).
On top of this, he was not happy about having to deal with his sister, with all the stress he was under, so he reached out to me for help. He also
felt extremely unsupported by you and his friends and acquaintances and subsequently had to engage in long hours of counselling for his own wellbeing. I was able to help him with dealing with his sister Trish by liasing with her directly and then establishing a representative chosen by her to deal with me about settling their family Estate. I also was able to recommend a good local lawyer that was able to help Benjamin organize the settlement of his mother's Estate.
In truth, I don't know Benjamin especially well, I suppose. We caught up a few times over the years, once in Newcastle the year after he
left St Mary's Senior High School to study there and later in California when he was living in Los Angeles, and one or two other occasions as
well. It has been an interesting relationship. Benjamin says you're a Bulgarian and he's been married to you for approximately fourteen years and he feels like he is incapable of making the marriage work and it has always been a struggle. He states that you feel the same way and both of
you would reach a definitive property settlement if possible but it is likely neither of you can afford it as you both feel it would
impoverish both of you and your children. Specifically he states that you both have around a million dollars in equity in your family home
and that a drawn out Family Court case could cost both of you as much as a hundred thousand dollars each (or more) in lawyers' expenses.
Benjamin is of the opinion that you are already receiving poor legal advice intended to draw money away from your children's inheritance for the
sake of enriching potentially unscrupulous lawyers. Benjamin is interested in achieving a settlement without recurring to expensive lawyers and
is perfectly willing to file motions with the relevant Court himself, without a lawyer, using advice from acquaintances like myself who have
formal legal training. The filing fees for divorce are not especially expensive, if done without the help of a fully paid lawyer. It is my opinion
that Benjamin can trace back your separation to a year ago or more already given your refusal to socialize with him on an equal footing or
treat him in a reasonable and respectful way with regard to social standing as a couple. Benjamin has indicated he will no longer be willing
to attend social events around your children if you are in attendance, as a matter of principle, due to your caustic and spiteful verbal attacks
which are detrimental to his wellbeing and which he seeks counsel for. It would not be out of the question to bring a civil suit against you
for damages caused to Benjamin's psychologocical well being by your continued spiteful verbal assaults which I have documented. With regard to
consent orders, Benjamin is under advice he can legally proceed immediately with this, either through a lawyer I have recommended to him or himself directly to the court paying the nominal filing fee. Benjamin states that it is unlikely you can secure enough credit from a bank to pay him
out a forty percent settlement for the family house, but states he will be happy to sign the house over to you if you can pay him out that
amount. He states that you had a former employer, a Taiwanese fellow, who was able to secure you large amounts of money through his own
personal finances or low cost Taiwanese bank loans or the like, and that it is likely the only way you'd be able to produce the funds to
pay him out for his share of the family house. He states that failing this or some other benefactor, there is zero chance you can secure
enough money from a bank loan and it's even unlikely your bank would continue your current lending arrangement if Benjamin's name is removed
from the actual bank loan.
left St Mary's Senior High School to study there and later in California when he was living in Los Angeles, and one or two other occasions as
well. It has been an interesting relationship. Benjamin says you're a Bulgarian and he's been married to you for approximately fourteen years and he feels like he is incapable of making the marriage work and it has always been a struggle. He states that you feel the same way and both of
you would reach a definitive property settlement if possible but it is likely neither of you can afford it as you both feel it would
impoverish both of you and your children. Specifically he states that you both have around a million dollars in equity in your family home
and that a drawn out Family Court case could cost both of you as much as a hundred thousand dollars each (or more) in lawyers' expenses.
Benjamin is of the opinion that you are already receiving poor legal advice intended to draw money away from your children's inheritance for the
sake of enriching potentially unscrupulous lawyers. Benjamin is interested in achieving a settlement without recurring to expensive lawyers and
is perfectly willing to file motions with the relevant Court himself, without a lawyer, using advice from acquaintances like myself who have
formal legal training. The filing fees for divorce are not especially expensive, if done without the help of a fully paid lawyer. It is my opinion
that Benjamin can trace back your separation to a year ago or more already given your refusal to socialize with him on an equal footing or
treat him in a reasonable and respectful way with regard to social standing as a couple. Benjamin has indicated he will no longer be willing
to attend social events around your children if you are in attendance, as a matter of principle, due to your caustic and spiteful verbal attacks
which are detrimental to his wellbeing and which he seeks counsel for. It would not be out of the question to bring a civil suit against you
for damages caused to Benjamin's psychologocical well being by your continued spiteful verbal assaults which I have documented. With regard to
consent orders, Benjamin is under advice he can legally proceed immediately with this, either through a lawyer I have recommended to him or himself directly to the court paying the nominal filing fee. Benjamin states that it is unlikely you can secure enough credit from a bank to pay him
out a forty percent settlement for the family house, but states he will be happy to sign the house over to you if you can pay him out that
amount. He states that you had a former employer, a Taiwanese fellow, who was able to secure you large amounts of money through his own
personal finances or low cost Taiwanese bank loans or the like, and that it is likely the only way you'd be able to produce the funds to
pay him out for his share of the family house. He states that failing this or some other benefactor, there is zero chance you can secure
enough money from a bank loan and it's even unlikely your bank would continue your current lending arrangement if Benjamin's name is removed
from the actual bank loan.
So in these situations, and keeping in mind I never specialized in Family Law, I would normally recommend you both get marriage counselling.
Benjamin states it is unlikely you would want to attend marriage counselling as you would not feel comfortable discussing your personal life
in that setting or admitting any wrongdoing as a spouse (which could indicate a form of narcissitic personality disorder). Failing that,
there are other forms of counselling available which would not focus on amelioration of your marriage or relationship but an actual property
settlement, ie, with mutual consent orders put in place. I am happy to help in this regard, however it appears that your financial
situation does not allow you to meet your financial responsibilities without significant financial aid from Benjamin, which, you have already
made clear to him, you do not appreciate. You therefore leave Benjamin with no choice but to sell the family house and complete a thorough
separation of assets between the two of you. If you choose to engage with expensive lawyers to effect a property settlement, Benjamin will
have no option but to do the same. Likewise, as you have never felt satisfied with Benjamin's financial contributions to the marriage, it
is better for you to divorce and find a partner who can satisfy you in that regard. Wouldn't you agree? Again, in this instance, Benjamin would
like the family house sold, and a complete separation of assets to occur. All of these things can be arranged without engaging expensive lawyers
(although I have already referred Benjamin to one of them and I understand he is already taking instruction from him). It's not too late to reach
a mutually agreeable settlement, however you had best state clearly how you propose to pay Benjamin out his share of the family house so that I can instruct him to sign the house over to you. We also need to understand how we are to proceed with binding consent orders so that no counterclaims can be made, after a settlement is reached.
Benjamin states it is unlikely you would want to attend marriage counselling as you would not feel comfortable discussing your personal life
in that setting or admitting any wrongdoing as a spouse (which could indicate a form of narcissitic personality disorder). Failing that,
there are other forms of counselling available which would not focus on amelioration of your marriage or relationship but an actual property
settlement, ie, with mutual consent orders put in place. I am happy to help in this regard, however it appears that your financial
situation does not allow you to meet your financial responsibilities without significant financial aid from Benjamin, which, you have already
made clear to him, you do not appreciate. You therefore leave Benjamin with no choice but to sell the family house and complete a thorough
separation of assets between the two of you. If you choose to engage with expensive lawyers to effect a property settlement, Benjamin will
have no option but to do the same. Likewise, as you have never felt satisfied with Benjamin's financial contributions to the marriage, it
is better for you to divorce and find a partner who can satisfy you in that regard. Wouldn't you agree? Again, in this instance, Benjamin would
like the family house sold, and a complete separation of assets to occur. All of these things can be arranged without engaging expensive lawyers
(although I have already referred Benjamin to one of them and I understand he is already taking instruction from him). It's not too late to reach
a mutually agreeable settlement, however you had best state clearly how you propose to pay Benjamin out his share of the family house so that I can instruct him to sign the house over to you. We also need to understand how we are to proceed with binding consent orders so that no counterclaims can be made, after a settlement is reached.
I look forward attentively to your response,
truthfully,
Sam Lee
Legal Advisor
truthfully,
Sam Lee
Legal Advisor
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