two hollywood actresses, a senator's wife; and some movie reviews

lately charlize theron the south african movie star has ruffled some feathers by comparing the white-hot spotlight glow and sundry pressures of her famous position to the potential for feeling or fearing rape+.... she was quite right to do so and it's a feeling taxi drivers around the world are familiar with everytime bitch arse readers like yourselves pull out your bitch-arse phones to make your nasty, obnoxious, selfish phone calls...... Benji's looking at buying construction worker styled ear-muffs.... Charlize is a pretty good actress as far as big hollywood film actresses go..... based on her work in that movie monster, for example and her general public profile, we wish her well............however, it is important to realize that most people in the world don't care about bitch-arse hollywood actors....... even if people in communist china bother watching mission impossible they don't care about the bitch-arse tom cruise and the details of his little pathetic bitch-arse life, they have better things to do....... so in general, while it may seem tough to these actors to be so talked about and discussed, they should still realize that at the end of the day, no-one cares that much about their bitch arse lives and they still have choices they can make like retiring and going to live in utah or not being a whore or whatever..... furthermore, when considering the case of celebrity journalists, one need only switch on TMZ channel to consider their extremely low level of intellectualism (not to mention they're often perverts too), they are essentially high functioning idiots........ some idiots get jobs at supermarkets, others become celebrity journalists, it's probably the difference between one or two genes*, in all other respects, extremely low IQs..... sorry to the people at supermarkets, Benji too has done this kind of work and understand the appeal so please, price check on aisle four

despite having an extremely low level of mental/intellectual abilities, celebrity journalists deserve and enjoy equal rights as everyone else like the ability to drive and reproduce, etc

john mccain's wife and gymnitf palow..... both of them, unlike theron, can basically be classified as anglo-white-supremacists........ paltrow is basically a halfwit retard so any kind of insult aimed at her is wrong as it is like insulting a mentally retarded person, it's cruel......... however mccain's wife has offended the Benji because she posulates that the soldiers are in iraq fighting for platow's right to dribble on herself under the pretense of speaking..... this is an absolutely fallacious lie........... they are in iraq fighting for mccain's bitch-arse northern european thread of genetics that wants to sit at the top of the pile and brag about ending slavery and then subjugate spanish people to slavery....... let the soldiers get their bitch arse legs blown off in battle, but don't come with your faggot arse northern european white supremacist genetic anti spanish bullshit fool(s)!

movie reviews:

Gods of wheat street, australian taxpayer funded left wing fantasy-land propaganda aimed at idealizing life of australian aborigines in order to assauge and mislead public as to their real plight which is desperate third world country........notwithstanding, it makes for interesting viewing

vince vaughn's latest movie, the one with 500+ sperm donor kids, definitely worth the $3.50 it cost to rent, without a doubt.... cerebral and intellectual just like bruno's pizza on edison in michiana...... guy has 533 children through a mishap at sperm clinic...... uncaring God manifested through uncaring space aliens with technology for inter-dimensional travel involving time travel could come to his assisstance by letting him be a father to all 142 children interested in him by whisking him back and forth through time however they don't care because they are jerks and it's not part of their agenda for world domination..... apart from that there are some plot holes like he doesn't sell his story to media outlets despite being desperate for money and nobody bothers suing the sperm bank for using his sperm too many times.............. in fact, Britain has already legislated laws to protect people from marrying and breeding with their half brothers and sisters inadvertantly in situations like this one, the american legal system has failed to legislate against this which is a no-brainer.... instead congresswomen and men are too busy posturing for their respective media outlets who represent the idiot blinking masses..... a feelbod (not a spelling error) movie for the entire family (that's quite witty!)....... we did note however that none of his children were from illegal immigrant mexican alien mothers, which does seem again racist from the left and right and just another excuse to ignore the issue of continued slavery in america and exploitation of mexicans, and impossibility of them to migrate legally to america like even the chinese are allowed to do; another attempt to deprive them of a voice, etc..... if one of the 533 kids were sired by an illegal alien mexican mother who worked as a nanny for some congresswoman's child we weren't told about it in the movie and maybe the child was deported anyway by ICE when they weren't busy sexually assaulting people with their 'pat-downs'..... God bless

oh sit, american tv competition game show........http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2328894/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
entertaining

the neighbors, abc tv series:   A New Jersey family moves to an affluent gated community composed entirely of extraterrestrials.......... yet another subtle step towards global domination, probably initiated and brought about by the aliens themselves using mind control as a way of gradually ingratiating themselves over the course of the next few centuries to humanjerk (was going to say humankind but it just seems wrong)

+ dear rape victims, sorry about what happened to you, no-one is trying to trivialize it, not even Glen Beck, but you just  need to get over it.... aliens too are constantly using unwilling parties for sexual activities during their abduction situations and did anyone ever see a lion just stop short of a gazelle and say, 'you know what? i guess i won't tear you limb from limb and devour you today coz it's your birthday'?  never heard that before? coz it never happened! life can be tough sometimes but just suck it up and go to some support meetings and stop bitching about people trivializing your rape!

* note to aliens, do not use these one or two genes found in all celebrity journalists when creating your hybrid master race for global domination as you will end up ruining the future gene pool of humanjerk (was going to say human'kind' but where's the kindness? - sorry to sound like a debbie downer)

the two amigos (kerry and obama)

the third amigo is hilary clinton but she's MIA, but the two amigos were at it this week, obama at the famous west point military academy giving some kind of graduation speech or something like that, insert awkward silence cricket sounds during applause moments here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNGzaeLJrNU   (awkward silence cricket sounds)

then kerry was saying oswald norton snowden edward whatever his name is should 'man-up' and 'come home'....... that's meritorious of an 'ahhhh-shut up!' a-la big cock from the warner brothers cartoon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArSLNJNUEIM   (foghorn leghorn ahhhh shut up)

entertaining the notion that edward snowden wasn't a lone wolf

edward snowden is a principled man, in my opinion, and like everyone born under the moon, that is, between may 13 and july 3rd (like the Benji), "ethically precise in many ways" (quoting from spencer lewis' cycles of life book)......

but what if Snowden wasn't acting alone but was put up to his secret publishing business by some element within the CIA? it may seem unlikely, but it's still an interesting notion to entertain, as it is a jumping point to consider the issues at stake........ a key issue is that post 9/11, freedoms generally taken for granted have been surrendered and a major outsourcing of surveillance has gone over to the private sector and the government has bloated

it really seems like Snowden is a savior, really, because he allows the slate to be wiped clean and a fresh start to be made for diplomacy, intelligence gathering, etc..... also, Congress has recently passed laws outlawing the surveillance of private, non-suspect citizens' communications, so this is a step in the right direction...... using super computers to crunch data on all u.s. citizens and their non u.s. citizen acquaintances is completely Orwellian and utterly unconstitutional and just sux, to use plain language...... obviously, a dispassionate observer would just say, 'who cares?'.... but principles are important and they do matter....... the mass surveillance are bad principles and it didn't help with the boston bombings much and all these sickos that shoot up from 15 to 30 people at a time, after a while, they add up to more than foreign terrorist caused deaths on american soil anyway

limbaugh and beck have shown signs of improvement this week, beck was coherent and even making sense in his last broadcast and limbaugh only seemed moderately to slightly paranoid and embittered about the 'left'

whether tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows or outrageous GMA

yes folks, it's been such a while since last watching GMA, we've forgotten just how much they suck, despite the fact that we have blogged many times about them and never had probably even one positive thing to say..... maybe at a future date, some conscientious souls will pour through Benji's words and see if there was even one good thing to mention about GMA (Good Morning America) but there probably wasn't even one (good word to say about them)

all we can add to that now, is that when GMA travel, when they get their pat-downs from the pervert octopi (is that the plural of octopus? quick, someone that went to harvard, put that education to good use right now!), oh hell, tentacled-squids at DHS; when they do the pat-downs on the GMA folks, you can imagine they'll be calling out, 'hey rudy, these men at GMA have no cojones! like NONE of them have any cojones! not even one cojon amongst them!'.... and then the GMA men will probably just start prattling on about when they had their cojones snipped........... that's how badly GMA sux

i wish we could all just go to a funeral tomorrow to say goodbye to GMA once and for all, not the people that make the show, but the show itself.........probably the world would be a better place if that show just got canned once and for all

anyway, God Bless

of danny devito, seth mcfarlane, flossing after steak

hey bitches? ever feel like steak around midnight and then your floss runs out and you can't find your toothpicks?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qoSRHTu7-4      no not that flossing!

so there was this movie on tv from 2001: heist.... with stalwart actor gene hackman.... the thing about this guy, if you have a lousy memory and aren't real expert like Benji, is that you might see him randomly in a movie after you've aged 10 years or so, not remember his name, but remember his face a little, but you're able to buy into his role and thus enjoy the movie.......... this isn't the case with danny devito........ danny devito seems like a lovable guy, he doesn't come across like a pedophile, date-raper, serial killer, etc...... so a notch above some hollywood types, but the thing about danny devito is that once you see him in a movie, you're not seeing the character he's playing, you're just seeing danny devito as he had become quite a juggernaut........it's interesting to note that in cuckoo's nest, it's at the start of his career and he actually physically looks different to his middle aged danny devito self so you don't see him as the modern latter day church of danny devito

speaking of churches, seth mcfarlane, wow, he is Jesus right? the second coming, or actually even just God.... i mean he is absolutely america's darling right now and hollywood's darling, there's no questioning it, in fact, nowadays when the tourists from alaska and europe get off the plane at LAX, the first thing they say is, 'where's the darling?'.... then DHS are telling them, while rubbing their upper thighs near the vaginal areas, 'oh the darling is in culver city near the sony studios there,'...... then these same tourists are calling out of their taxis down sunset boulevarde to the cops on their bikes: 'which way to the darling?' and the cops are like, 'thatta way!' pointing towards culver city

then when they arrive to culver city they see a line stretching miles and miles long.... conan o'brien is walking up and down the line trying to get anyone to notice him, some kind of adoration, but the people only have eyes for the darling, just insert some doctor seuss here or something, you get the point

in fact, no self-respecting man these days can not imagine themselves in the following kind of scenario with mcfarlane:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9j-F7_qFDbU   (every man's fantasy)

the reason all this is mention able is because mcfarlane stars in his new movie for the cinema: a million ways to die in the west

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXxqG4aqwY4    (a million ways to die in the west)

going to the cinema would require going to a special location for cheaper than usual tickets as they are too expensive normally, and then bringing the kid as we don't do baby-sitters as yet.... so potentially difficult.... it brings to mind the landscape architect kid in sedona, arizona, that was making more money than his parents: he was saying taking a date to a movie meant thousands of dollars for him, in lost business, and then he'd always make a big thing out of it with a big, expensive dinner (hundreds of dollars), potentially hotel, etc......

Hunger Games' director's son goes on killing spree because he had no game!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQUW3Km01BM   (watch his chilling last words to the world before going on a murderous rampage!)

what a total psycho!! it's really hard to believe, shit hot director's son, could probably get all kinds of jobs and pussy and he's talking about wanting revenge because he can't get laid! it's really unbelievable!!!!

folks, that's why prostitution is the oldest profession in the world, so EVERYBODY can get laid and this kind of sexual frustration (which can be very real) doesn't lead to mass murder

folks i'm not proud of this but i've been with a handful of prostitutes in my life, i don't mean 20 year old slutty college girls although you could say they're prostitutes too, folks i'm confused........ anyway, i don't know why i rejected sex with some hot irish woman that comes up to me in paris offering me sex (no charge!), from out of nowhere, or the hot former high school cheerleader captain girl that wanted ben dick back in the day, and yet i was happy to pay some crack smoking black woman for sex after she had a hit from her crack pipe, there's no accounting for Benji's logic

and there's certainly nothing to be proud of to have sex with whores.... generally slutting around isn't real good, but this just reaffirms the validity of christian principles: forgiveness, non-judgementality, doing unto others, awareness of sin - such as even just fantacizing about sex with other women when you're married (put some clothes on ladies, cover up)........ even the gay dudes like Anderson Cooper, who engage in tea-bagging which is where the gay guys drop their ball-sack onto their foreheads like a tea bag, who are we to judge those tea-bagging tea-partiers and say we are better? Folks let us be wise as serpents and gentle as doves, let's know sin when we see it, and hypocrisy in trying to mask it, let us be wise like that to discern, and not be idiots, but let us also be gentle as doves in forgiving and accomodating the sinful douches that encroach on us, at the end of the day, we're all sinners

this kid's sin is really laughable and ridiculous, but it's a great tragedy and cause of suffering for his parents and the victims' loved ones, and reminds us all of our past sins and how they degraded us, and it just goes to show how powerful the life-impulse, sex-drive is and what trouble it can really cause, a lot of these shooters are sexually frustrated, banning guns is not the solution......... God please bless us alll and forgive us for our sins like we forgive those who sin against us

also, a lot of these shooter kids' parents, if not all of them, are really not monsters for their kids to turn out so lousy...... so it must be really difficult for them to understand this kind of thing..... they would have been loving their kids to pieces when they were small and innocent..... then adolescence hits and your kid is already a potential mass murderer waiting to happen, and then boom, for the unlucky parents, it's what happens, or else your kid becomes a victim of one of these guys..... or your parents do..... just sux, society is messed up

latest

yo, this week was really bad, and so was last week, and it's all because of the budget the govt. here has announced, all the university students are crapping themselves and the high school kids too, at the notion of spending an american amount of money for a crappy australian university.......... australians are more than happy for all the rich authoritarian commie chinese to attend universities here at full prices but want their studies subsidized.........there are only so many saudis and rich brazilians and lots and lots of rich commie chinese to pay full fees......... all the ossie citizens were getting university cheap........ but this new budget tried to change that, it probably can't get passed through the upper house of government here but anyway, it managed to fray alot of nerves here, especially amongst college student types........ anyway, they'll probably end up saving some money in the short term because of it, as they sure aren't partying now

crimea......... kerry and co at the state dept, and the white house spokesguy whatever his name is ben rhodes or whoever, was saying, russia is intervening in eastern ukraine, but they didn't give us any evidence in easy five second media format, and neither did the american media, so as dummies in tv land were unsure, but then about a week ago, was watching the commie news from commie china and they had clear footage of russian trained/supplied elite soldiers........it was pretty clear they were very slick, they even had crisp, clean uniforms which means the russians want to show it off.......interestingly only the commie chinese news carries these images, so now we know the kerry and co were telling the truth, the chinese state-owned media images really proved it....... one guy had a shit-hot rpg......that's not raggamuffin eastern ukraine guys with sling shots, blind freddy can see that, if he watches commie chinese news broadcast

so when are we going to war with china? sound crazy? it might not be.... believe me, i've spent 18 months there, my chinese is shit, but all the chinese tell me my pronunciation is awesome......... what's the issue? the issue is china cannot transition to democrazy [sic] without going to war bigtime..... kind of like nazi germany....... sure a lot of rich chinese can bail to america or australia and never come back, but not all the rich can, neither can they feel completely safe in china......... how long can their 1 million strong commie govt. play the authoritarian control freak card before imploding on itself? and when it does, you bet it will not do so knowingly, but will instead lash out in brazen bullying against japan, the phillipines, vietnam and co....... i can easily see a major conventional war between america and china within the next fifty years.... that is a key thing pentagon war planners should look at.......... i will absolutely join the army over here in australia should that war happen

thinking about that scenario, that would absolutely have to be one of the most fascinating wars ever....... on the american side, you can just imagine the kind of air power they would have to muster from phillipines, air craft carriers, like all of them, and japan.........that would be a lot of air sorties......... i don't know what kind of surface to air defenses the chinese have but then you'd also be looking at just bucket loads of cruise missiles too..... probably good to negotiate a treaty with mongolia for that right now, why wait an extra day?..... might as well bring out all the stealth long range bombers after that....... that would just be such an amazing war.......even possibility for nuclear activity although the thing about china is that all their military can threaten are immediate neighbors, they can't even barely lob a nuke at america, they could but i'd say it'd get shot down, but the americans would have to bomb their nuclear weapon storage facilities too, sure that'd be messy but the chinese have already made sure all their rivers run with battery acid now, the only living fish are all blonde (and hence too stupid to know they should be dead)...... you'd really have to bomb the shit out of every single PLA/ commie central govt. installation.... that would really put an end to that shitty govt. in china........ God only knows how you'd encourage democracy after that, just tell people it's free........... i totally don't hate chinese people, but their system of government and way of running things is a gangrenous curse crying out for amputation, just wait and see

movie review: grown ups (2010)

nurse, it looks bad; let's amputate

if you watch this movie, expecting Anders Brevik, that crazy norwegian guy that shot up like 100 people while dressed like a cop on some little norwegian island, if you're expecting him to pop out at any time and kill the cast, forget it, you'll be disappointed: it doesn't happen.......step around this movie or clean your shoes immediately and be sure not to track any of it onto your carpet

moving on, one of my buddies is an avid photographer and he's taken some pictures of the Benji recently so we'll post them up and anyone can feel free to print them out, frame them, and place them on their bedside table or piano top or wherever, enjoy! and ladies, enjoy Benji's wrinkle free looking appearance!

that looks bad, we'll have to amputate

no you won't be playing any water polo after the amputation, are you crazy! don't make me laugh

                              

dear Osama, i know you're looking down on me from Heaven, so are there any wollypops there or what?

you're serious, that thing is REALLY your brain, i see! ok, bear with me for a moment

   

did that person's momma REALLY lose all that weight???? oh my God!

for ethical reasons, we can't name the person whose momma lost all that weight, but the amount of weight lost is literally STAGGERING,

observe this mystery person's momma on the left wearing a malcolm x t-shirt while floating on the water at the beach, she is literally so fat, a helicopter can land on the x on her malcolm x t-shirt and even some navy type guys can stand near her belly button there and usher it in, notice the dramatic weight shed on the right:

               


wow!!! right?? who would have thunk it???

again, on the left, same momma, mistaken for a beached whale, on the right, dramatic weight loss is evident:

momma mia! is that really the same woman? is that what a little acai berry can do? oh my God. Before you say, STOP already, just look at what most people would think is actually the three gorges dam in China, the world's biggest dam: (hint, it's actually the same woman pictured above - mystery person's previously fat momma):

on the left, getting mistaken for the three gorges dam in china when lying down on a river bank, on the right, just plain gorgeous! what a dramatic weight loss.... so just remember that next time someone tells you how fat yo' momma is

oh btw it's Benji's birthday, 38 today, really need to stop smoking!

rush and beck review

hey people, you'll have to hang on Benji's words in the crapping on chests departments, suffice it to say for now that we are not referring to babies crapping while laying on a holder's chest when we refer to crapping on chests, we are talking about adults consenting to crap on one another's chests in the literal sense, not in a metaphorical way, also we are not referring to adults as 17 year olds or 18 year olds but those 21 years and over......... for now, while meditating on the topic of crapping on chests, you might like to consider the movie 'puti tang' by chris rock, et al, which is a great comedy movie, there's a scene where puti tang, who is so hip and fly, is able to release a song for mass consumption which features no music or sound of any kind, people are happy to listen to this 3 minutes of silence because it's from puti tang and he is so fly.... similarly, a tree falling in a forest where there are no ears to hear it makes a similar sound to puti tang's song, and so can a crap on someone's chest, something for you to consider until we take up this topic in earnest, just remember, Hitler had his jew talk, Jesus had the kingdom of heaven to talk about, Einstein had special relativity, Benji gives you crapping on chests, more later

on to limbaugh and glen beck

beck's program wasn't particularly memorable, a kind of white noise or muzak in the elevator affair, not a bad result for beck who is like one of those teams in the english premiere league soccer that always kind of finishes in the middle so you never kind of even remember their name

limbaugh, while a likable guy, unfortunately, there's this polarized kind of punditry in some of the american main stream media and if you tune in to, say, saun hannity, you just get a bunch of bitching all the time until you reach saturation point and you don't have time for it anymore.... better to do muzak talk like beck....... with limbaugh, he's actually capable of making a few jokes and has a homely/folksy approach and he's all on his own out there, doing his own thing and he's not too bad to listen too but once he starts with the bulldog clamping down on white fang, you really get sick of it (to quote jack london) and kind of start thinking of the democrats as white fang and hoping they can get something they want like locking up people in internment camps for not wanting to be gay or whatever it is they want these days (it changes everyday, they're experiencing a constant kind of identity crisis one supposes)..... the clippers guy took a lot of shit all round on the radio but i'll tell you straight, anderson cooper is a fag and fags are at way higher risk of contracting hiv and that's a scientific fact, the science behind it is that anal penetration is likely to coz blood vessels to rupture leading to admixture of blood and semen, easy transfer of hiv due to blood vessel rupture, this is science......... i wouldn't be at all surprised if magic johnson is a big slut and i'm sure half or more of the nba are massive sluts as are a great many professional athletes due to being placed on a phoney pedestal due to people being unable to find a meaningful spiritual dimension in their lives and seeking satisfaction through group identification activities like identifying with a sports team (worshiping false idols)........ skin color is irrelevant as is race........the point the clipper guy was making is that being a slut is not a good example for children, it's not good to mock the elderly, even if the clippers guy is a douche...... it's a pity he apologized at all, i wouldn't have, not if someone took my private words and made them public like that, i would actually sue the person for doing that and then sue the nba for availing themselves of that, but since the government in america is setting an example of disrespecting people's privacies, to coin a new word if we have to, then it's another ben franklin quote, about people not deserving liberties or freedoms..........

this brings us to rush's bullshit about boka haram or whatever they're called, this is all bullshit rush, angelina jolie needs to worry about paedophiles in hollywood that she is working cheek and jowl with, we don't need michael jackson singing about 'healing the world and making it a better place for kids', we need the media to spotlight any involvement he may have had in raping minors as has been alleged...... we don't need anymore hollywood types coming with saving the caged chicken and the bottled water from israel and all the bullshit, we need pressure on the media and hollywood entertainers to come clean about the skeletons in their closet.... unfortunately, there's a lot of money at stake and the left-wing media is in bed with hollywood and therefore complicit in hollywood's paedophilia crisis which is now full fledged because i said so, so worry about that angie, and maybe brad's din dins and don't worry about boka haram

and you limbaugh, don't start insanely and twistedly trying to shine a microscope on it, even blind freddy can see that the big issue is that the dems and obama have done nothing in syria, no-one except for some spin doctors at downing street and some other dumb clods around the place care about 200 kidnapped kids in nigeria, we care about 1.5 million syrians and 150,000 syrian dead, a lot more than 200 kids, just look at the numbers, unfortunately, the media is like Narcissus, obsessed with its reflection which includes hollywood's paedophile black magic scandal issue/ same as the catholic church's.......

anyway, you just got served again, thank Benji later, and remember pooty tang

movie review: Ted (2012-2014)

before returning to the topic of crapping on chests, we'll quickly review this Seth McFairlane movie:

Ted is a toy bear and Mark is a real chicken, both of them are busy working at a Chinese factory in communist china testing the drinking water for battery acid for the i-pod phone makers..... Ted insists this is dangerous and only a matter of time before he and Mark die from tainted water, therefore they should immediately pretend they are born again Christians so that they arouse government suspicion and are relieved from their duties which will involve certain death, Mark agrees, they run a search on Google about Christianity and spend a few days studying some basic things then go to work and start handing out flyers and telling the foreign guests to the factory from America that Jesus will save them

the Chinese bosses are infuriated and bring Mark and Teddy to the big boss..... the big boss smokes cigars and tells Mark and Teddy that Christianity is banned in China but that he likes their spirit and will give them some options: a) go to Melbourne, Australia and wash the boss' son's Nissan Z while he takes care of the new University the big boss bought for him; b) go to Washington DC with his other son and work pimping out prostitutes for government lobbyists, the big boss says he's sympathetic to democracy; c) prepare to be surrendered up to the authorities in Beijing where death by torture is likely.........Mark and Teddy ask for some time to think and the big boss says sure just as his steaming tray of clams arrive.... Teddy sees a mini-train track for laundry and a sign above it says: Laundry tunnel to North Korea, which Teddy thinks says: 'Free beer', so he pushes Mark into the last mini-train-carriage full of dirty towels just before it disappears into a tunnel

Mark and Teddy wake up some time later in North Korea, some of the workers there think they look delicious and it appears the two will be eaten but then an authority person tells the hungry looking underlings that Mark and Teddy aren't dried grass and cockroaches but foreign spies so not to eat them..... Mark and Teddy are taken to the President for questioning and he is suspicious but would like to use both of them for his plan to destabilize Western democracy which he feels is very threatening by going to France and abolishing the French language and substituting it for free cheese shaped like little French hexagons marketed as 'Hexagons'...... their plan works and  the Nation of France is under their control a year later and nobody in France is allowed to teach children French anymore and instead the French are encouraged to speak English or German or some other language or just grunt instead....  the President of North Korea feels like this can start a domino effect, toppling western democracy once and for all..... Mark and Teddy are offered to be raped by an old, drunken French man however Mark does not feel it would be rape and is happy to acquiesce without the drunken old French man thinking it would be rape, after this Mark the chicken disappears and a man presents himself to Teddy and says he is Mark but has been transformed from a chicken to a man by a magic ray........ Teddy is skeptical but Mark's personality hasn't changed and anyway Ted is too busy keeping cheese production levels high and distribution on time, so he tells Mark to try and destabilize the German economy as this will help him with his cheese plan,

Ted receives a call from the big boss from the i-pod/i-phone factory in China, he has heard Teddy is a big success and would like to know if he can supply him with battery acid for his baby powder for export to America as calcium is expensive, Ted looks out the window and sees a newspaper headline saying: New EU Initiative: Free battery acid, 1000 tons to first fifty callers, Ted cannot give the big boss a definitive answer as he must be one of the first fifty callers so he uses a chinese expression (they are speaking chinese) to intimate an ambiguous answer, i can ride a bi-cycle, so can you, the jade destiny is written in the stars, chocolate mint is delicious, everyone knows it...... the big boss responds: ok, no problem...... Ted calls back five minutes later and says: I have 1000 tons of battery acid, when would you like it delivered?

Mark walks in and tells Ted that Michael Jackson has just arrived to coach the French Eurovision entrance, Michael says once he learnt children were involved he had to help foster the talent, the French team win Eurovision by grunting, after that they are taken to be geniuses, they publish many books and go around the world grunting on tv and everyone thinks they are really deep and clever, they sell many albums..... tourism in France also rises dramatically after the French people resort to grunting after refusing to learn English or German and not being able to resist the Hexagon cheese snackies, some of which come with a free drinky, everyone thinks the French have become friendlier and smarter after they take up grunting as a form of communication, occasionally an airplane falls out of the sky but apart from that their Nation does great

Ted's office door is burst open by a group of irate French thespians who complain that titans of French literature like Hugo and so forth has been ruined by his cheese, Ted tells them to buy some chains and bang them on the floor, take a dump on the stage floor after that if they have to, the people will love it, theatre goers are dumber than a sack of hammers these days, just get the f*ck out of [my] office before [i] kick your arses down the stairs

the plot is obviously wide open for a sequel

(four and a half stars)

crapping on chests

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFo8-JqzSCM


the entire topic of crapping on chests is huge..... by addressing it, i'm really invoking the spirit of Marty from Back to the Future when he starts playing his guitar in front of all the kids from the 50s and even the black pioneers of Rock music are blown away by his futuristic guitar solos..... we can safely assume, that when Benji touches on crapping on chests, that he is addressing people many generations hence, and today's person would be left flummoxed and bewildered by it..... nevertheless, there is a precedent for this topic which is most usually dealt with by the South Park people and, perhaps, secondarily by the Seth McFarlane people, i have tried contacting both of the aforementioned to discuss the topic, with a blow-torch and told them not to bring any clothes and that we could be friends forever, just meet me by the old swamp behind old man finnegan's home, but never got a response.... no matter

when it comes to crapping on chests, my middle name's Marti

in fact, before i even get to this topic, in my next posting, i'm just going to crack my knuckles and crack my neck bone a little and maybe do some warm up laps and some bend and stretch exercises, crouch down, crack my knees (they almost always crack upon squatting) and then maybe do some upper torso limbering exercises and thus build myself up to it

little known american comedienne causes a stir by taking up taboo topic of crapping on folks' chests

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GA3a15xF0c

little known american comedienne, sister wakely, or sumfin' has struck a raw nerve by dragging the generally taboo and swept under the carpet issue of dumping and being dumped on one's chest for personal reasons into the light (no pun intended)

for centuries now, the practice of paying a whore or just a general 'dumper' to evacuate stool ('poop' or 'take a shit' on one's own chest) has been a common practice in europe and america.... with the advent of cannonballs, this practice become extinguished under napoleon, however, in america, the practice has not diminished but increased, in colonial times it's rumored that Jefferson, Adams, Washington, Franklin and others were willing to pay slaves, prostitutes, landed gentry, anyone they could, to take a steaming dump on their own chests as a form of therapy

today, the practice is common among those in difficult positions of authority such as policemen, politicians, it's rumored that all of the ivy league deans and staff are having their chests crapped on at least twice a year.... this is generally a practice preferred by men (being crapped on their own chest), but scientists are now studying whether the practice can help alleviate breast cancer and cramping in women......

anyway more later bitches

about David

many westerners and Christians and Jews and Moslems would recognize various things about the famous ruler in Palestine, David, a central figure to Jews and one that features prominently in the old testament of the christians, which is a sacred book among the Jews..... however, it is unlikely that today's westerner, whether he's a moslem, jew or christian, could easily imagine having over six wives.... maybe a non-western moslem with four wives could understand this, maybe a saudi..... but in the west, the practice of polygamy is practically a taboo, it's difficult for us to imagine David's times............ below is a quote from Wikipedia about David committing adultery and then having his girlfriend's husband murdered (David is in a position of authority on a temporal level:


David committed adultery with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite.^[12] Bathsheba became pregnant. David sent for Uriah, who was with the Israelite army at the siege of Rabbah, so that he could sleep with his wife and conceal the identity of the child's father. Uriah refused to do so while his companions are in the field of battle and David sent him back to Joab, the commander, with a message instructing him to ensure that Uriah died in battle. David married Bathsheba and she bore his child, "but the thing that David had done displeased the Lord."^[13] The prophet Nathan confronted David, saying: "Why have you despised the word of God, to do what is evil in his sight? You have smitten Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and have taken his wife to be your wife." Nathan presented three punishments from God. First, that the "sword shall never depart from your house" (2 Samuel 12:10); second, that "Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight", and finally, that "the son born to you will die"

It's an interesting story, with regard to the linking of David to Jesus, the Jews are quite right to reject this, it is utterly fallacious the most of it, i find it extremely unlikely that Jesus' mother, Mary, was descended from king David, primarily because Mary was an Essene and a gentile and not a Jew and Jesus' father is God and God is not a Jew either, what's interesting is to consider what kind of DNA Jesus received from his Father (God or some kind of Godhead important spiritual power for Good 'the Holy Spirit').... whatever DNA Jesus got from his Father, must have only strengthened his Faith to invoke natural laws (miracles) and to avoid sin..... the notion that Jesus was jewish is utterly fallacious and is like saying a Canadian is a U.S. citizen because both of them are North Americans, the custom in Jesus' time was for everyone to submit to local jewish rule which meant getting circumcised, the alternative today for non jews in Israel, is to submit to Jewish rule, however it probably no longer requires circumcision but Jews still run the show there as they did 2000 years ago.

The lives of David, a jew, and Jesus, an aryan gentile with half his DNA from God, probably not jewish DNA either, couldn't be any more opposite and it's difficult again to understand the ignorance that seeks to combine and link these two characters together in a worldly sense..... chalk it up to garble.....the two could not be any more different in a wordly way.......David is a sinner (compared to Jesus) and is a ruler (Jesus is not), has many wives (Jesus had none), many children (Jesus had none), is enmeshed in politics and warring and ruling, Jesus isn't......... the two just are not similar at all...... Jesus' legacy today is primarily in various churches which are completely optional these days, most western people find the idea of a man being born from a divinely impregnated virgin to be alien but think nothing of being fat and watching stupid tv shows all day long, in India, this idea is nothing new and Krishna is also said to have been born the same way, which, in fact, he was.

But really, all we wanted to say, not really mentioned above, although we mentioned the above in case it's of interest to you, the reader, what we really wanted to say about the quote from wikipedia, if this is true, that God is displeased by David's actions, it begs the question: is God ever really pleased, and how can we please God?........ let's put it more scientifically, and say that by harmonizing with Cosmic Laws, God is pleased, in other words, by living in Harmony with Cosmic Law, this is Good, by living in disharmony with Cosmic Law, this is bad....... putting it like this takes away the idea of a personal fat guy with a beard kind of Jewish slob of a God and instead gives us the notion of a giant microwave emitting broadcast tower of a God that is emitting vibrations left, right and center, which you either harmonize with and triumph, or your dog eats your instruction manual and you fail............ this then, begs the question again, is God ever really pleased?

If God is always so displeased, shouldn't we just chop our fingers off, offer them up to God and say, "there, are you happy now bitch?" Is God an angry african-american woman? in other words, not a nice one like Oprah, but a really sassy, bitter, angry one? Often it does in fact seem that that is the case......... we should offer God some KFC and compliment God on her looks despite her being obviously overweight and give God some Beyonce CDs and God will be pleased because God is just an angry, fat, african american woman that drove her good for nothing husband away and feeds her children coca-cola for breakfast, lunch and tea and voted for Obama coz he's black...........

in fact, in the Bible, Jesus even says: if your eye offends you, pluck it out......... see, God will be pleased by this because God hates you, and if you're happy, it won't last, you'll end up dying anyway and you won't remember a moment of your happiness, your happiness is meaningless, and if you suffer, at least God will be pleased, being (at least in part), an african american woman that hates everything and everyone (except for Oprah because she's rich and has Gayle who also has a positive disposition due to being extremely wealthy)

THE PRICE IS WRONG BITCH

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1g22I_UvWg   (happy gilmore)


wow, talk about a slow news day in the american news cycle, see i told you every 2 or 3 months, they look to destroy someone and feast on it like a fallen gazelle by a waterhole in africa, a pack of lions and hyenas, they got their nigger hater clipper guy and now they are satiated and it's a very slow moment

perfect time for Joe Biden to remind people that he still exists...... i think him and Obama are doing a commendable job decrying sexual assault in the military and now at universities, i approve; however, in case you don't know, nowadays if there is violence in a marriage in america, there's every chance the perpetrator is a female...... so not sure about Biden talking about kicking men's arses for beating their wives

if i be permitted to adopt a sarcastic, and possibly obnoxious tone, are you saying Joe, that if i were to front up to Obama, Snoop Dogg, Shaq, the Black Panthers and the NAACP and ask them if they're having a swell day on planet jigaboo, bitches? (lil old whiteboy cracker moi), that that would be racist and wrong, but it's okay for all the paedos in Hollywood to rape minors so long as the victims are white and the perps carry on making entertaining movies but spousal violence is not okay? is that what you're saying Joe?

ANDREW! your intensity is for shit! you have to win! WIN! WIN! WIN!

why don't we just build a new train line across america, with only one destination stop in West Hollywood somewhere, and call the station: 'Paedos-ville'? And we can just get all the messed up teenage whiteboys in middle America that are confused because they find a statue of David to be a beautiful work of art and that must mean they're gay, why don't we just pack them all up into a train like the jews in Poland and just send them over to the end of the line, Paedos-ville and let all the deviots in Hollywood drug them and rape them and go ahead and make some A-list movies after that, would that keep you happy Joe?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/29/joe-biden-sexual-assault_n_5235811.html