excitement for the first time for potential potus

ever wonder if Americans are faking it at presidential conventions? Bill and Hilary? See all the excitement in the 90s about them? All i saw were two douches, i didn't inhale, didn't have sex with her. Then donkey kong came along and we all had to take turns carrying the 500pound gorilla across the river while it threw bombs at anything that moved and looked like it might have a banana which could be used as a weapon of mass destruction.

uu

then big spender from left field came along and cut a check for 7 trillion dollars to buy magic beans, and lectured all us dummies that were wondering why kicking arse wasn't a degree offered at universities. Then Richie rich the Mormon came along and couldn't unseat him and finally a candidate comes along that makes benji feel, for the first time, like being one of those placard waving idiots at the conventions. I want to see this lady dance! Literally, like some rockabilly jig or something. Can we please dress her up and put her in front of a camera some more? Can i pick her dress out?

tell that woman to run for president next year?.... BENJI vets

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cathy_McMorris_Rodgers

never heard of her before? me neither, she hasn't been a senator like obama but has served about 5 terms, i guess 2 years long each, in the house of representatives, i think..... i think according to the constitution she can be president, she doesn't need to have been a senator prior to running...... she's definitely american, her family settled in oregon around the 1850s.......... target point for democrats will be first and foremost her religion: she's an evangelical christian

evangelical christians, like most christians, believe in the bart simpson on the escalator to heaven take on christianity (just as sunnis and shi-ites have differences in islam, so too do christians), this brand of christianity is by far the most common: meritorious acts will lead you to heaven, bad acts, to hell......... you will spend either all of eternity with some kind of unexplained body that still has sensitivity to pleasure and pain in heaven or hell, with possibly a long period in purgatory, before heaven, based on your acts in one AND ONLY ONE lifetime. everyone is dumb for not killing babies and guaranteeing their eternal rest in heaven, letting them survive to adulthood only increases the likelihood of them committing evil and thus spending eternity roasting in hell which would be a betrayal to the best interest of their eternal soul.........this perverted viewpoint is possibly how catholic priests justify raping children

it's a horrible take on christianity, when you take reincarnation out of the equation, something Jesus refers to a number of times in the Gospels, most notably when he asks who the people said he was and someone answers: Elijah returned (reincarnated)......... this is a giveaway reference to reincarnation which the average modern perverter of christianity that misappropriates the term christian wilfully ignores out of sheer and utter ignorance and inability to think outside of dark ages, medieval psychology..... this isn't to mention the television frauds like billy graham et al

anyway, the average christian will not argue that children should all be slayed in order to cease life on earth and guarantee all souls going to heaven before committing sin, by dying as children, so the average christian (and mormon) is basically full of shit and doesn't know what he believes, so he just runs around crooning, Jesus, Jesus, oh how you saved me Jesus......... ridiculous! can you imagine going to full your tank with gas and saying, oh thank you! thank you! to the service station attendant? and singing songs praising him?? he'd think you were crazy!

moslems don't believe in reincarnation either, unless they're sufi mystics most likely, and do not actively pursue vegetarianism despite the fact it doesn't say anywhere in the koran that one must eat meat..... granola-ism is neither considered islamic nor un-islamic however it is meritorious, let the moslems pursue vegetarianism in peace

this is the average christian, surprise to say, america has only elected christians as president that we know of, so no matter of it's evangelical, better than a catholic..........

any republican will bring down the debt, that's for sure

having mentioned that, for ethical reasons, let's now look at this march 2012 interview between chris matthews hardball, above-mentioned cathy rodgers and a democrat from illinois i think:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pc_THKEZ4E

matthews raises the issue of abortion and the notion of an attempt in virginia (sometimes blue sometimes red state) for government law to discourage women from aborting when turning up for an abortion, e.g., by watching a video, etc........... matthews asks rodgers if she's for or against this......... rodgers doesn't want to answer, she side-steps

republicans should have the courage of conviction to answer clearly what they stand for on a case by case, individual basis.......fuck the left! here's an example, some fag (pitcher, not catcher type) spat on me one time......... i literally kicked his arse! a lefty will try to make this sound like i'm anti-gay (i'm not even)...... there's a million fags out there that use the word 'fag' and would take my side on issue of kicking someone's arse that spits on my face for no good reason

fuck chris matthews, he's like some english guy from the 19th century out of an elephant man movie parading obama around as some kind of reformed monkey, "look jolly ho old boys, we have reformed the ape into a fine upstanding president, i told you it could be done!" fuck chris matthews condascending racism! there's a million of our african brothers out there that don't like obama, whether he's black white or red or asian or whatever who gives a shit? let chris matthew go watch a bullfight and piss and moan about that too! answer his goddam commie questions directly, don't side step to that bitch like he's stronger than you are

when Benji plays with Kano, your arse goes down

and you chris matthews, i would totally take you dude, i would kick your arse and what's messed up is you would actually enjoy and be asking for more and be all like, where's my gatorade, i'm sweating now, oh, i'm enjoying it, i'm actually enjoying the pain, that's chris matthews so fuck him! before i kicked chris matthews arse i'd actually tell him that i hate unions because i hate trade unions! then i'd kick his arse and then give him some gatorade and then watch him squirm and ask for more like a little masochistic biatch!

fuck u!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBt_12-K6xw

you know i actually grew up in government owned housing, my mother and sister had abortions, i've gotten all manner of government stipends as a student so i could waste it on pot and not bother getting a job and gotten all kinds of unemployment payouts......... what's annoying about the left, apart from their policies is that they are all reactionary, you can't even blame them once right wing types start up with their christianity business......... anyway, republicans have a duty to answer questions square on, not be evasive, but say, 'that's right bitch, i think it's a good idea for the woman to watch a video before getting her abortion,' side-stepping all these bitch-arse left wing journalists makes republicans look like they don't have strength of conviction and are kicking the issue down the path


now look at this lefty rachel maddow:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0kcHAHE4N4

blabbing about how women make 77 cents on the dollar that men make.......her numbers are wrong, women are encouraged to divorce by a corrupt judicial system (family court) and get ALL of their husbands wealth, in many cases the judges are rewarded with cash bonuses for coming to this result.......of course, the mainstream media are too enamored with their petty intellectuality and petty celebrity and petty bourgeouise station (just look at o'reilly with his pet words from harvard! i actually have a bigger vocabulary than basically ANY u.s. 'journalist' talking face, knowing words in chinese, french, bulgarian, spanish AND english - that's a fact!) to have the courage to state this obvious fact..........unfortunately, the system being as it is, it's rare someone's gonna come out and say women make MORE on the dollar than men do when you factor in divorce and a corrupt judicial system in america needing reform

hey and guess what? if 'fundamentalist' christians believe the earth was created in six days instead of 5 billion years, who gives a shit? who's to say there isn't a planet somewhere on the other side of the galaxy where 6 of their days equals 5 billion of our current years (and who's to say the earth's years weren't shorter or longer in the past, due to distance from the sun/rotation on axis, etc) and who's to say that God wasn't on that planet, let's say it's called 'glub glub' where 6 days equals 5 billion of our years, when he created Earth and how do we know It (let's assume God is asexual) didn't create Earth via long distance with a teleport machine -- we just don't know -- so six days to create Earth is a-ok with Benji

conclusion: McMorris has potential but doesn't have a fun public profile, only appears on tv shows on the internet -- she needs to do some eye-catching publicity stunt like fly a hot air balloon over her farm or something

listening to obama on fox news now -- after a happy three day holiday from work and break from fox news..... he's doing the 77cents spiel -- big load of bobcus, has already been dismissed above, will have to switch fox news off soon because of it..... just turned it off -- sick of it --- my work week starts in just over an hour....

tarantino comes up on benji's radar

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPJTRh40sZU

http://news.yahoo.com/tarantino-warpath-screenplay-leaked-015205439.html

Add caption

bla bla bla, had enough of tarantino and his bogus dreams and big, fat mouth, not interested in his movies either, best thing he can do is make a movie about cops: OCPD (orange county police dept.) have good cops, bad cops, car chases, the whole palava, i'd go watch that, but not his last two movies, bunch of bullshit

can you imagine tarantino making a movie about siddartha guatama buddha (aka "the buddha")???? by intermission time you're walking out the cinema to buy your choc-coated ice-cream and pop-corn and buddha's already beaten the shit out of any number of peaceful nepalis...... he's probably smashed some babies skulls in, impaled any number or priests, decapitated a tribe of wanderers, ha ha ha - that's tarantino for you, so just shut your dirty cakehole up, dick'ead!

sarah silvermanburg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLthJDXbq6Y

love buzz

ok there's been some famous female 'stand-up' (she isn't confined to a wheelchair/has working legs and knees) 'comic' around for a while called sarah silvermanburg or something like that........ normally the average person would recognize her name coming up on their OTH (over the horizon radar) and just immediately readjust their bearings, knot-speed, stealth mode capabilities, etc, and just avoid hearing one idea or word she could come with because even from over the other side of the mountains straddling poland, as a miniscule and insignificant blip representing hostile warsaw pact migs (sorry to use the warplane  metaphor).... you get the idea, some bozo to completely shun like an epileptic leper, nothing personal, along with jimmy kimmel and fallon and the plastic ken doll seekrest et al..........

amazingly though, silvermanburg actually finally says something funny, she sets up a skit with a guy playing Jesus, THE Jesus, not Maria Jesus Hidalgo, a corn farmer from Guadalupe in Mexico....... she asks Jesus when life starts (it's about conception/pro-life/pro-choice/abortion stuff) and Jesus responds: 'at 40'

that was really funny and i'm obviously not being sarcastic........ i hope that wouldn't offend Jesus (which one is unclear as there are many, like above-mentioned farmer), but, perhaps not-surprisingly, it offended the chronic bed-wetter Bill O'Reilly and his get rich buddies at fox news........

in fact, fox news now has competition on Benji's ride-along in the form of am640 from montreal, canada, we seem to exist in parallel universes

random thoughts

this seattle seahawks quarterback is a dandy speaker and no-one can understand how his comments towards crabtree could be construed in a negative way, it just seemed like he was certain he was superior to crabtree.... not knowing anything about the sport, one would be inclined to agree with the seattle quarterback guy with regard to his superiority over crabtree...........how this can degenerate into being 'a meltdown' and then about race is due to a high level of stupidity amongst the masses, benji predicts seahawks will win superbowl

moving on, robert deniro, you probably got some of that on your leg before, right? oh look, you must have stepped in some robert deniro, looks like you have some on your trouser pant, over there by your ankle, here, want some kleenex to wipe that off? yes, that robert deniro..... the good news is that oprah said his generation will just have to die out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hifyj-zLVLg   (family guy, brian dies)

just before brian dies, fittingly hit by a car, stewies last memorable words were: "i'm a baby and only dicks don't let babies win," actually, dicks let babies urinate..........and see that scene where brian's coffin is getting lowered into the ground, now that would have been really funny if the coffin just kept going down like 50 yards into the ground, like a crazy long elevator shaft, even like 500 metres, was actually waiting for that to happen but you failed me

truth, justice and the american way

american guy goes to jail for not paying child support when he doesn't even have any biological child(ren)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpYubBeRhhU

MOVIE REVIEW: ACT OF VALOR (2012)

this movie mostly consists of real navy seals doing action scenes, some professional actors are also used

100% sure i saw this movie on a bus in fiji going from denaru to coral coast on south coast... didn't know the soldiers were real soldiers though...... back then......... just paid $4 to watch it now on youtube - have 48 hours to finish seeing it

benji's middle east take

a few days ago, i went to work and had occasion to talk to some lebanese/aussie guys there and they were all adamant that america invading iraq was absolutely the right thing to do, whether out of a sense of fait-accompli  i don't know, but it's interesting to see how some lebanese might say that

now benji is most definitely no expert to say anything of value about the middle east.... all we can think of are scattered random and useless factoids: napoleon's syria campaign - using bayonets for massacres to save artillery supplies.... alexander the great invaded syria and iran....... mohammed waged a number of military campaigns from within saudi arabia, mecca or medina i guess, around there, to subdue infidels.........

as a complete non-expert and ignoramus on the whole topic, and quickly glossing over winston churchill's importance in drawing map-lines at the birth of petro-chemical/oil importance time; touching on mohammed, a lot of people see to think the sunni-shi'ite difference is a big thing --- hard to understand why it would be, and certainly there must be over a thousand examples of this difference not being an issue -- i would go far as to say it's not an issue

instead, what we have is saudi arabia has all the money, along with UAE;  some of this money funds terrorists wherever, how much goes to humanitarian relief for syria is unclear.... there is no democracy there.... but in iraq there is.........the two big nations, america and russia are now propping up revolutionaries (yes, that's a better term than the meaningless moslem extremist or terrorist which is inappropriate) -- america is propping up her major interest/investment - iraq - now to subdue a rebellion in fallujah which is now connected to syria --- russia, on the other hand is propping up syria's president............

syria is now the key issue -- refugees are spilling over to turkey, lebanon, jordan, and from turkey into bulgaria/the EU...... the president of syria has been aerial bombing and shelling 'the enemy' for the past two years, probably hundreds of thousands dead by now and displacements possibly over a million i would guess......... refugee camps with come and go fighter dads and brothers scattered all around syria's border....... the kurdish question of kurdish nationhood has not been answered and it's unclear if kurds can travel to northern iraq from turkey freely or if they have the rights they wanted from iraq's govt. most likely no.......... having more kurdish autonomy or outright statehood in northern iraq seems desirable, e.g., with a shared arrangement for oil revenues with baghdad.........

benji doesn't know how many weapons from china and iran go through to syria, who exactly would use them, and how much exactly the syrian rebels are being armed, mostly clandestinely by cia i guess, or what the chances are for an outright victory for either side are but they seem slim

this war could drag out for years, america is not bringing enough pressure to bear to topple assad and do not necessarily see it as in their interest.... the new dynamic is the cross-border 'revolutionary' field now between fallujah and syria which america doesn't like but which is, the rebels, whom they say they back against assad, and whom they refer to as 'rebels' and not terrorists or islamic fundamentalists

clearly the entire situation is a real clusterfuck and the only clear winner is israel as there's now less pressure on them from lebanon who now has to sweat all the syrian refugees swamping their nation and taking their jobs

insert south park soundbite here: they took our jobs..... they toooook our jobs

just a real mess with an overlapping mish-mash of different interests, like russia's in assad, just for some oil and a navy base........ mess

anyway, it's what lebanon went through in the 80s, so the people will just kill themselves like crazy and then relax, some of them can migrate to australia after that and became the next generation of angry arabs until they become fattened with money and women here and start to mellow out

movie review: the bourne legacy (2012)

ok if you don't know anything about it, this is a franchise now which could end up becoming america's only kind of james bond styled franchise of movies........there are now four of them, matt damon was probably in the first two, while he was pretty cool in good will hunting and day at the zoo, he just seems like the nice guy next door in the white-picket fence to be playing an assassin, so i never really thought he was the right type-cast for a total cia-styled killer/assassin.

the guy playing that role in this movie is much better suited to it and the movie doesn't make the mistake of going over-kill with all the hand to hand combat scenes that go really overboard in a lot of movies these days and just becomes absurd.... this movie keeps it to a minimum and it's all pretty good...... all of the car chases, action scenes, bike chases, including a motorbike chase in bangkok are all similarly understated but tasteful as far as this kind of cinema goes and i generally would give this movie a pass on this level

in terms of the leads, it's a guy/girl hero/heroine working for some shady, compartmentalized departments of black ops in u.s. government, the female lead is a chemist/scientist so not all james bondy........ there's not much chemistry between them and that was actually really fine with me as if i want to see a couple kissing i'll just look in the rear view mirror of my taxi and hopefully it won't be two guys and can you please stop the slurping sounds, it's nasty, now get out of my car, you just wasted $10 of my money now coz i can't even ethically charge you the fare as you never got to your destination, kissers, see ya, get out of my cab

now the critics, home pundits on imdb didn't like this movie because of the script and by that they must mean the first half of the movie.... see this movie plays out well plot-wise in the last half, and my only criticisms was some of the shots/cinematography in that half were too close, e.g., during indoor shots, leading to action sequences (not involving stunts) that just don't seem to be perfect -- which is actually very common with these big-budget californian movies, blame the bourne anglo-supremacy movement for that

we're not comparing this movie to matt damon's bournes as don't recall seeing any of them although might have but they never seemed appealing due to reason mentioned above of damon not being appropriate for killer cia type -- tennis player yes, pro bowler yes, accountant, yes, cia-killer, no, too sweet-faced

the key issue with this movie is the opening -- there's some snowy mountain scenes with a predator, okay, what-evs.... the plot then is not made clear due to clumsy storytelling about some black-ops govt. programs working on special drugs to augment/enhance human genes/reactions to warrior type situations (curiously and co-incidentally something we touched on in last post, really by co-incidence)..... anyway, predator drone mountain wolf mountain climber scene is all visually okay and all that and is basically telling you something that's actually true, that there are black ops operations within military/spy agencies where u.s. military personnel are slated for internal assassination without even a formal court-marshall, all black-ops and these things really do happen i'm fairly sure, although not in the colorful hollywood/filmy way with the drones and explosions and wolves, but no-one's blaming the film-makers for that as it's not a documentary and the real situations are kind of just boring and don't involve car chases at all............

anyway, after this opening it's where the film really drops the ball, there are clumsy scenes where we see some agents dying from taking their go-pills or whatever and you're all like: gee, pills can kill people, i didn't know that coz my name's cletus the slack-jawed yokel (kidding - everyone knows pills can kill people).....so it's dopey -- then the movie just gets lost for about 20 minutes due to bourne anglo-supremacy and general drug abuse by the makers and then it gets un-derailed and the final 50 minutes or whatever play out normally and properly

this movie gets 3 stars out of 5, maybe 3 and a quarter

this song's cool by the way, no relationship to the movie though
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM7H0ooV_o8

sad

well, i finished my shift halfway through tonight, no mechanical issues.... i only made $50 for myself, more for the owner than for me......... i just feel so bad about how my relationship life is....... when i was living in asia, years ago, i never got invested in any women, i would generally screw a girl for a month and ditch her..... i tried having 'serious' relationships with women before that, 'girlfriends', but all of them were failures anyway so i went away from 'relationships' with women and 'relationships' with society in general for about 2 years or more in the case of the former and about a year and a half before reinserting myself in society, in late december 2003, in communist china......... there in china, my outlook was fairly peaceful, my mindstate most mostly just calm.....one or two chinese people commented to me that i looked sad but it was an infrequent observation mentioned to me.... maybe i looked sad the whole time, but if i was i never particularly seemed to feel it

then, when i started my relationship with my wife, in early 2007, it was very troubling for me because i'd been living in california and fairly happy with life there, frequently dating women briefly and just working and more or less happy, i thought i could just bring that happiness with me to bulgaria but then the reality of the damage the russians forced on their vassal states in eastern europe was a living reality to me after about a month of my buzz from living in california disappeared and i descended into hell........ i pretty much stayed there, in hell, the entire 2 years i spent in bulgaria until returning to australia in early 2009 when the hell disappeared thanks to the more or less happy, sunny dispositions of the australians......... i didn't mind being dark and quiet, like in china in 2003/2004 because i was happy in my own way, although not given to the australian cheerfulness at that time, it didn't matter because the people in china are on a different wavelength, i was well suited to it and generally was calm there

when i got to bulgaria i lost my cool completely and could no longer be zen and calm.... i cannot believe that the relationship with my now wife endured through all of that.........it's a really bad relationship now, it seems.... she's very unhappy with me, prefers to live with her mother over me....prefers her mother to be live in carer of our child over me (i'm a man she says, not fit to rear a little child - complete sexist hypocrisy from today's woman)

looking back at some episodes in my childhood --- something i used to feel the need to discuss with people, but haven't for years, but for some reason now, i feel the need to mention on my blog, was the relationship between my sister, that i am estranged with, that now lives in madrid, spain; and our father..........when she was a little short of fourteen years of age, she accused him of molesting her and the matter went to the police and then the courts........a judge told my parents they couldn't have access to her until she was legally an adult at age eighteen.... if i ever questioned my father about it, he would become irate and was adament he didn't do anything wrong to her and she just wanted to leave the home and go live her own life as she saw fit........ which i know, for her, was being able to party, live in hip neighborhoods of sydney, not our working class backwoods in the sticks with all the hicks there, take lsd, get drunk, smoke pot, not go to school, all on the tax-payer dime........... she has always insisted she was molested but no medical testing ever said that she was abused despite her accusations specifically to the contrary...... i never felt the need to leave my parents as a teenager, in the sense of going to live with some social workers or a foster family or some christian brothers or whatever, but my brother did the latter for a period and my other sister, who suicided in 1999 at age just short of thirty years, went off to live with some foster family in our neighborhood for a time.......... for that sister, who i was close with and had some love for, she couldn't stand to live with our mother as our mother was a real mess of a person and her pursuit of happiness involved doing zero housework and living in her thoughts while lying around all day, she was also depressed about the family's dissolution

at one point, the sister that suicided, raquel, came back home to live with me and my mother, it was only me and my mother and my father at home in those days and i was about ten years old, raquel saw things my way, that our mother was going crazy and going off the deep end, doing strange things like bragging about drinking bleach to trish, the other sister - that now lives in spain, on an occasion she once visited her mother with one of her canadian runaway friends, that was before she was 18 too so she disobeyed the court's order by visiting her mother.......... anyway, both trish and raquel thought our mother was a mess and they didn't want anything to do with her......... i was becoming alarmed with my mother and getting into altercations with her and ended up pleading with my father to put her in a mental hospital, when i was about ten years old............ that's not something that's conducive to positive outlook on life as a childhood experience but it's what it was, my mother later said the time in the hospital was great for her but i felt bad about it i guess and later in 1996, after spending about half a year in spain, while visiting australia for a month, i thought my brother was bugging out too so i brought him to a mental hospital too........ i remember giving him a kiss on the head before leaving him there, i flew back to spain shortly thereafter and spent a year there...... where i became pussy-whipped smitten with some californian girl and then hopelessly heartbroken after that for months afterwards here in sydney after saying goodbye to her at barajas airport and flying to cairo for  a few days and home to sydney

unfortunately, the bitchiness and animosity and one up-manship and grudge-match-ism so prevalent in my youth, amongst all of my family members, excepting my mother it seems, was something i was able to avoid manifesting mostly in life, despite going through some failed relationships with various women in my early 20s, i generally didn't resort to real bitchy animosity, there was just a sense of competitive-ism with three of them i guess and it was important to them to tell me i might be gay and that they were smarter than me, which i didn't really care about anyway

in the mental hospital when i was ten, i could see my mother and everyone in there was in a bad way...... i felt suicidal a few times as a ten or eleven year old around these times and later somewhat as a sixteen year old although these feelings went away during half a year i spent in spain although i was still depressed there and lonely, but my mind was very busily occupied all the time grappling with learning the language there, so i didn't have any kind of suicidal ideations........

after my sister suicided in 1999, my life fell apart, i got kicked out of film school, my girlfriend of 18 months left me to spend a year in ireland, i went home to my father and spent at least half a year avoiding marijuana and alcohol and generally got along with my father, my mother was in spain at the time for a year.......however i fell into more depression.......i had a taxi license but it never occurred to me to work, i just sat around all day which contributed to my depression.......then in late july 2000 i flew off to bangkok and started drinking heavily and smoking weed.... i ended up spending two years travelling at that time including a quarter year in virginia around the time of 9/11......... that quarter year was yet another peaceful year in my life without depression or unhappy thoughts........ i've actually had many good years in my life like that, including my last year of high school which i did in newcastle, north of sydney, by telling some government social workers that my family was a fuck-up and i wanted an independent stipend........some university kids i associated with in virginia told me you can't pull that shit in america and they were right

some days in 2003 or late 2002, i would wake up and think to myself: why did i leave america, i had it so good there....the same thing happened to me in bulgaria as i grappled with the realization that i had thrown my happy life in california away, it was like the thoughts of a disincarnated soul after it suicides.......... of course, in 2003, i could have just bought an airfare to america and gone there....... i could have just driven a taxi and saved more money....... i just didn't..........maybe there's just something wrong with me like bad genes or something

on a spiritual level, i really believe life experience and living and life serves the purpose of soul evolution, so that no matter what the problem, one must go ahead with life....... many times i thought i had mastered  various problems, only to realize that some trigger, like going to live in a new location, could exascerbate issues.........the one thing i found in life though, with depression and regrets, there's always a reason, a choice, a mis-application of free-will that leads to the regret...... people don't make bad choices coz they have bad genes, they make bad choices because they have free will which is a gift from almighty God and a serious thing and because they are human and therefore fallible........also, bold life choices, while leading to suffering and error, can contribute greater to soul evolution nonetheless, better, many times, than just going ahead pursuing a kind of whoozy calm and happiness which is a very complacent pursuit we find sometimes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2yrDWEoCpc

alot of people when they're young are looking to build a career but that didn't seem that important to me, i thought i should try and get a grip on pot and alcohol addiction and just go through life so as avoid feeling uncomfortable around people...... i thought for a while i could go to film school and become a filmmaker and make a living like that but then my sister suicided and i lost interest...... i'd often enter situations for a year, like a new high school or university, happily make friends there and then move on and forget about the people........there was one friend i made in spain, i'd be happy to talk to him on skype now, but i lost his details a long time ago, there are probably a number of people like that over the years but as time went on it seemed that forging relationships was pointless and lead more or less to nothing........ i couldn't create anything with anyone i knew as i wasn't an actor or musician or career-minded person to become a doctor or an engineer or something like that..... i just wanted to go live in random places and see the people......well i'm sure whatever i end up learning from this lifetime is something i'll be able to manifest in a future lifetime............ i did end up thinking building a relationship with my wife was worthwhile in order to build a family, but i'm seeing now it's becoming impossible because she prefers to live with her mother and have her as a nanny for her son and keep her job than live with me

the disregard and lack of good will so apparent in my immediate and even extended family relationships of my own family, sadly i have resurrected this into my relationships with my wife, so that it's common for the two of us to destroy eachother with words and arguments..... it's very unfortunate, and try as you might to not project what you subconsciously learn in your childhood, you'll have a hard time avoiding it

everything is one big argument with my wife and it's really breaking my heart especially because i'd come to feel an affection and a bond for our little son of ten months but it doesn't feel appealing to me to encourage a situation of divorce and shared parenthood in a dissolved marriage which is very fashionable these days but not appealing to me..... so i miss him very much but do not think it's right to spend alot of time with him in the next two weeks.... at the same time i feel very unsettled and am looking for a bold solution like going to spend a few months in vietnam or something like that and letting the impressions of a different world overwhelm my consciousness which i have found interesting in the past......... i don't know if i agree with the happy separation and happy sharing of the offspring and happily getting on with your life, i'm not ready for that just yet......... i normally wouldn't drink but i think i'm gonna drink a lot tonight and listen to music

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyIOl-s7JTU

gee i don't know, maybe i attracted a mate for reproduction that i wouldn't love enough to feel completely broken and heartbroken over should she leave me..... i never had sheldon from big bang theory to offer advice in the past........ take the girl i was living with during my quarter year in virginia around the time of 9/11....... i was on the rebound from some girl i really loved......... she rejected me, it hurt, also the californian girl rejected me in the same city, madrid, it was hard for my psyche, i knew i'd dump that girl after i used her for a 1/4 year stay at her crib in virginia and got my payback on american women for being so sorely misused........ so i hurt her, i even saluted her goodbye at dulles airport, she saluted me back, that was the last time i saw her, it was the war on terror and all that shit.......... gee i'm just a fucking arsehole and a rotten bastard......... God knows i tried to be good, i spent hours in meditation, trying to improve myself........ i tried hard to avoid women, knowing it would be trouble, but couldn't avoid getting wrapped up with their bullshit

that girl in virginia, i didn't sit around all day thinking i was gonna dump her, i was just gonna lose her..... she asked me towards the end of my stay if she could follow me to paris, i just dismissed it..... even one of my co-workers mentioned doing that.......... i had nothing but respect for the people i encountered in virginia during that stay...... if i was lame eurotrash, or some kind of douche-bag ossie, those were my shortcomings........ in virginia during those 90 days my speech unexpectedly reverted to a slow, extremely authentic aussie drawl.... a real australian accent..... i didn't know i had it in me, sometimes my mate couldn't even understand what i was saying because of the bastardization of language, making all the 't's into 'd's and what not........ i really loved that girl, to be honest, i never had one negative thought about her i can recall...... the people in virginia likewise were irreproachable, i was sometimes expecting to be hazed or dissed because of all the hazing i received in australia socially as a school student, i guess when i acquired my aussie accent, actually only one american guy, george, the one that mentioned following me to paris, hazed me telling me he loved me 'you gay faggot', my other co-worker billy thought i had something stuck up my arse, in hindsight, i understand where they were coming from......... from when i turned the tv on on 9/11 after 25 days in america or so, until when i left about 65 days later, my eyes were glued to the tv every day after working with bleach, pressure washing roofs with afore-mentioned billy and george......... i must confess i loved watching 9/11 unfold everyday.... watching the secret service pick the president up by the armpits and drag him away, the fighter jets scrambled over virginia, i regretted not going to the pentagon a short drive up the road from nearby quantico to watch the smoke and confusion there..... visiting the world trade centres shortly after the attacks, the smoke in the air, the spirit of the new yorkers - alot of it shock at the time, some amused cosmopolitan new yorker girl, light years ahead of me in terms of not being a redneck..... the stealth bomber flying out from kansas, the first military response to 9/11, on its way to afghanistan with its pilot wearing a nappy so he could crap on the long flight, the african americans in nyc homeless with their 'yell at me for $2' signs......... what a magnificent nation, what a blessed nation, what a great and mighty place........ even just 90 days there was a magical experience, not a moment of it was a downer for me, not a moment, except maybe the crazy italian ex-cop screaming in my face for my incompetence on the 10th september, that just made me want to poop and quit my job, which i did (in a restroom)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saag5yKhv_s

even the congress came out and spontaneously sang a rendition of 'God Bless America my home sweet home' -- magnificent..... really like being abducted by a UFO and brought to a more advanced civilization on their home planet........ i remember visiting a military base after 9/11 and the cute buck-toothed freckled white girl with her M-15, couldn't have been older than 18 and her african american handsome and solid looking comrade, just kids, with their M-15s..... and then visiting a home on the base and noticing a pillow there, lovingly embroidered with a motto something like: we prefer peace, but if we have to go war, we will..... these are fundamentally decent people that you find in virginia, they are not malicious people..... it's sad that that translates into giant airplanes dropping bombs over vietnam or whatever or somewhere in iraq killing innocent families, that's a tragedy, the never-ending blood-lust of humanity, no wonder the soldiers end up wanting to suicide after that, completely normal reaction - that's their humanity, that suicidal ideation, can you imagine if some evil doctor type in the military-industrial complex invented a pill so they would kill indiscriminately without feeling a loss of dopamine and seratonine leading to suicidal ideation? they would be monsters after that, not humans

well after that glorious and mighty vision of america, my life resumed its usual current of hanging with the less winning folks of the world, due to my bad genes or whatever...... i took my flight home to madrid, i had a vision of the madrilenos, after those 90 days in america, something like how Eisenhower would have seen them: monkeys packed into all kinds of places....... i made some useful contacts in paris in that day or so and caught a long, slow bus up to paris, the pretenders song 'special' was playing on the bus as we headed into paris i distinctly remember

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Kv_H-G1rCI

all i achieved by doing this is pretty much all i have ever achieved in this lifetime, being a douche, semi-lame, identifiable as gay, despite preferring women over men, some kind of non-entity....... why would i care? it's all i ever knew anyway.... i was interested, and had been since living in spain in early 1996 to do what i was about to do which was get france out of my system, i didn't know how long it would take, i thought going in i was ready to spend my entire life there.....what really happened was i just got a job for some big multi-national oil company, made an okay living, found an expensive small apartment in a snobby neighborhood, visited israel, on a whim, during a long weekend, to jerusalem for three days......... nothing....... as i said, the life of a transient, a nobody, a non-comprehender of the meaning or importance of human relations or human pursuits....... none of the qualities that the people in virginia i had left behind like optimism, respectfulness, happiness, none of those things meant anything to me, they were alien, i was a stain! i didn't even like that pretenders song! and although i thought of my compatriots in spain as 'those monkeys south of the border' during my stay in paris, i am still luke-warm about the french, while esteeming their positive qualities, i think their economy is only going backwards in the european union......... france is not for me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HB-mNS-ros

i went back home to my parents and my brother to live with them, i thought i'd save some money quickly and go live in nyc but i fell into a deep state of passivity, questioning the way forward and what my values were, i was interested in president bush's leadership during this stage and generally, i would say, i think he was a great president, some of his leadership influenced my decision to go live in communist china, and he was another happy, strong, american beacon shining out there, but it was alien to me, all i knew was failure and meaninglessness, or just shadows of my own stupidity and perceived stupidity, reading on philosophy still held an interest...... none of the relationships i had cultivated had grown to anything.... my parents and my brother were just my house-mates, no more or less....... i even now regret my father's suicide and inability to associate with him now because i loved my father, although he was a pushy, bossy son of a bitch...... without falling into the trap of self-pity or self-deprecation, i must say, my life at that point in sydney, right here where i started, had amounted to nothing..... spiritually i believed whatever i could draw out of the ATM machine of spiritual advancement or learning at that point, was my eternal soul's for the future to keep, still, things looked bleak........... i might mention that i never had, until that point, any kind of advantage through racial bonding except the three years i'd spent in spain with my own race there, and which, all prior to 9/11, i never thought of as dumb monkeys.........

it might be interesting then, for you, to walk around spain with me in the year 2000, to see it as i did..... in madrid, the people always noted my accent was a foreigner's, because i never learnt spanish until i was a 16 year old in spain..... often people would ask me where i was from and i would always say 'australia' and then they would ask me how it was i spoke spanish so well (they did not my alien accent though) and i always said that my parents were from spain..... i was very happy to walk around with my race brothers and sisters there and just observe their way of living, i mentioned some relationships with a couple of american girls earlier on this post........... now whether it's because europe is progressively getting worse and worse (i suspect this to be the case) or because of my own distortions from my travels and my perceptions, it does

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLrfVAdYuTY

seem to me that spain was a lovelier nation in  92/93, 96/97 and 2000/2001 when i knew her to how she is now, as of last visit last august.... it seems the european union is making spain worse and worse.........it's strange and amazing to see how different pockets of the world evolve differently and on different lines.... very amazing......... i could tell you about the two weeks or so i spent in the uygur capital of xinjiang, china: urumqi.... but what would be the point? at this stage i just want to finish my second bottle of wine which one of my customer's left tonight in the pocket in front of them, a few inches behind my back.... i'm just a robot now, a machine that drives, got sore at its life-mate/woman....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXb4sDqs56I

i miss my son..... what a joy it was to pick him up from his little pram, he would put his hands in the air, i spoke to him so tenderly, i always had such love for him, i would pick him up and say 'push-ups' and push him up and down in the air as i stood, some six feet and more above me...... sometimes he would pout happily and put his hand to his mouth.... other times, more recently, he looked nervous about it......... i feel my love for him is infinite......... drinking a second bottle of wine right now, might not be a good way to show that, but i cannot control his destiny, he's in his mother's hands and she's a problem relationship for me

well it turned out to be only half a bottle of wine after all, you know i'm really quite a reformed alcoholic, i first started drinking at fifteen, about a year after smoking a lot of hash for the first time, and really gave up the both of them years ago which was a big deal for me (difficult).... i did a piss by the electrical box

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnmjGc3kXm0

where i sometimes park my car these days outside my home..... the cat pudsy was outside meowing at me, i petted her and told her telepathically that she, or he, is better off than i am, don't know if it got the message but it was meowing more after i left it outside so i brought it inside.......... somehow this reminds me of my buddy Jen from springfield, illinois..... this girl hit me up on the internet on a dating website around when i was in urumqi, mentioned above.... she was long time resident in kunming, china, near the border with vietnam.... she had two rabbits as pets, me-do and wee-wee or something like that, one of them was definitely called me-do.........despite not having smoked pot since early 2007 in los angeles, the thought occurred to me tonight to buy some and smoke it tonight, maybe that would chill me out........ i must say that writing makes me feel better, it's not good to be drinking but i can't help myself........when i was a teenager i liked to read alot, i was always reading, les miserables, stephen king books, huxley's brave new world....... that's what i wanted to mentioned earlier about the meaninglessness of relationships: during that 18 month stay, after that half year in paris, with my parents and my brother, there was one relationship, one guy i knew in virginia, it was his parents' home that had the embroidered cojin i mentioned, he was a good friend to me during this period, i guess i was struggling with existential questions that the weaklings among us struggle with, and he always seemed to be there, over the internet, a friend....... he was a good fellow..... he's still around although i don't stay in touch with him, i guess like a lot of people, he has a bad opinion of me...... maybe that's why i decided to creep into my taxi and become a money-making robot, driving around all the time, a way to avoid life, relationships, rejection......nothing seems to make sense..... anyway, this girl Jen, she actually proposed marriage to me, at this point i was living in bulgaria and i even bought a ticket to america after a year in bulgaria and meant to meet Jen, not for marriage, but just to kickstart a new page in my life in america, but i wasn't allowed to fly for visa reasons and ended up penniless and homeless in dublin, ireland, reading a book in a library there about kgb agents posted around the world and holding a cup for spare change from passer-bys and getting free meals and having (not enjoying) free accommodation with the homeless irish, many of them wicked heroine junkies....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffr0opfm6I4

i don't know much about heroine addiction and am just rambling and babbling now, my buddy Christine comes to mind, a case that really impressed me and i mentioned earlier on my blog, when we were studying at our prestigious university together here in sydney in 1998/99, she was studying sociology and was a good friend of mine.... at the time, her brother Rob was already a heroine user but she wasn't.... now i occasionally see Rob as i drive by a traffic light, he's out there cleaning windscreens for a few dollars to buy his heroine... he's american, his mother is dutch........what a waste of a u.s. passport for both him and his sister, God if i had a u.s. passport i would be out of here in a second and flying straight to houston in a beeline.........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_FEULRoOTY

yep, guess i'm just unhappy.... if i could go live in america i would in a heartbeat, just go live with some niggaz in a homeless shelter...whatever, drive around texas....... i was happy for a while re-arranging some hazy memory lane somehow and just writing.... but now that spurt is over and my sadness has returned.... i don't care to resurrect more memories of my sister raquel or my past..... nothing seems to make any sense to me at all..... the cats on the bed, did i just see its aura? i'll try starting a new short film project i had in mind

o'reilly check

know spin zone: lease wheel - not tired

so having cancelled my fox tv, and often listening to fox news on radio/earphones streaming over inet during work hours, for better or worse..... and no, it cannot satisfy my desire for information but i can't stream unlimited youtube....... listening a few days ago to a staggered o'reilly factor while getting recently mentioned tire fixed, it was actually a nail inside the rubber from the head of the nail pointed outwards towards the street, exceedingly rare it seemed to me, but only $20 to fix, the mechanic pulled out the nail then sealed the hole with a kind of rubber nail he inserted........ anyway, was listening to o'reilly factor during that episode a few days ago, as you can see, in the daytime, that was staggered about 2-3 hours approx. after it aired live in america, approx....... but normally if i listen to o'reilly at all, it would be at 1206am, just after midnight, just over 12 hours after it broadcasts live, and it's night-time of course and entering last 1/4 of my work-time

so most recent episode, o'reilly is talking to juan williams about the debt, but the conversation seemed glossed-over, to be honest, because they didn't even touch on the amount of monies lost by people either in pension funds or in their mortgages.....they kept talking about 'currency collapse' like it's the be all and end all of macro-economic failure -- but this isn't accurate, however the bitching about the fed was accurate......... the truth is that large portions of society, e.g., in america, can basically lose all kinds of wealth via real estate or failed hedge funds/pension funds, etc........and there's absolutely nothing the people can do about this de-facto re-distribution of wealth or out-right loss of wealth and the government is to blame in some part for failing to regulate the financial industry correctly......... but there isn't going to be some kind of be all and end all currency collapse unless there's a sudden loss of oil supply which there isn't going to be for centuries, apparently......... and the masses can find safer ways to safeguard their wealth than banks and u.s. dollars anyway........ giant insurance companies can only be kept in check by government regulation otherwise they will go all predatorial as

it's also worthy of note, and i haven't studied much macro-economics excepting during a year of journalism studies in spain in 1996, but you don't have to be a genius to realize big ticket natural disasters like katrina, that's tossing some coffee into the digestive tract: that's gonna be a problem down the track/tract.... witness GFC.........and it's going on all the time

a tire mechanic with pet bird - his attire blew, in the wind

10+ years ago: bomb afghanistan back to the stone age! says o'reilly....... go to war against iraq, bomb them too! x 20........... now during last spin session it's, apologizing for war in iraq...... 'maybe it was a mistake' says o'reilly! well at least we know george bush will never say that!

ain't found a way to kill him yet! seems every path leads him to nowhere, yeah they come to do something to da rooster....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poQC0ReZvAA
it's interesting to note that a lot of russian satellite intelligence and espionage efforts rendered u.s. bombing missions in vietnam a waste of bombs/taxpayer money - the vietcong were often forewarned with precise info of impending bombing runs

you know the real issue is the big gap between life and death....... no-one seems to remember anything and everyone's just banging their toes around all over the place

these birds are absolutely the most despicable sounding birds out in nature here in australia that you can possibly imagine in your worst nightmare......... camping in australia is often a torturous activity that involves listening to these disgusting sounding birds who absolutely screech like prehistoric villains that they are........ imagine the most hideous screeching sound you can imagine and then multiply it by a flock of 100 of these absolute sons of bitches of a bird and that's what this despicable nasty monster gives you, you're probably better off with the taliban than spending the rest of your life alone on some desert island with only these horrible birds (they look good though) for company

listen how nasty this son of a bitch's scream is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycP6Ce1X1LY

new section: giving jesse ventura a playful slap in the rump!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmvup8K_pMA   (jesse ventura, conspiracy theory)


location: outside ICE (immigration, customs enforcement) 'residential centre', towards the end of the biggest and most under-reported deportation program in american history, thanks to obama the hispanic hater; 20,000 primary bread-winners for their u.s. citizen wives and children are rounded up for deportation....

jesse ventura plumbs exactly 1/4 inch into his brain (full capacity) to utter the following gems:

"so this acorn tree, you're saying the nuts on the tree are real?"

(note ventura is addressing the local government/city council member for waste management (read: irrelevant); he has completely failed to grasp the scope of the tragedy of obama's administrations war on the u.s. economy/and general incompetence; in this case, with specific regard to illegal aliens of hispanic origin (read: backbone of agricultural industry in america).........

that's how dumb jesse ventura is............

"what is the government going to do with all of those acorns?"
jesse ventura, the moron......... you know what conspiracy the u.s. govt. is working on Jesse? how to avoid collateral damage and lives lost next time you stick your foot in your mouth

i can see the headlines now:

"tragedy in dayton, ohio, former rock and roll wrestler (concert pianist, whatever) and governor of minnesota (wow, that cold weather must have made you people make some funny choices now dint it? say it ain't so! tell this redneck benji you preppy little yankees!) Jesse Ventura, while on an assignment for his tv show to discover whether the government was behind the recent death-wave (cool term, i know) of honeybees in order to cripple the u.s. agricultural industry (really? i thought the obama administration was deporting hispanics to do that in conjunction with failing to reform immigration law/policy) and thus give communist china an encouraging prod to produce more rice, accidentally caused a traffic jam in downtown dayton when he performed his signature move, the right foot in his mouth while standing in his left foot wrestling move (gee i thought only my baby could do that and not even standing, at that)"

Jesse Ventura! bah humbug! go and ask the experts how much oil is left Jesse, before you go running around like an idiot, make that your first priority! there isn't gonna be any 'martial law' Alex Jones, you collosal nicodemus! until the oil is well and truly ready to run low.............and if we have some Katrina-like disasters around the place, well there's everything to indicate that today's humanity will respectfully step OVER your dead body (without defacing it) and carry ON with their business........... so just SHUT YOUR DOPEY CAKEHOLES jesse ventura and alex jones and go jack-off to a picture of some english queen you descendents of northern europe!

francis bacon's momma: queen elizabeth the first..... francis bacon created the english language and it's the only conspiracy you need to know about - the wily tongue is full of embedded messages, wordplays, tricks and double and triple entendres

the truth is that if america's politicians cannot work together to enact meaningful legislation, e.g., with regard to immigration reform, then you're just surrendering the mastery of your own destiny to become europe's bitch by default..... the more you act like europe's bitch, the more you're gonna be like europe's bitch......... truth is republican/democrat failure to work together, and not just lousy, but really meningitic leadership from obama has made immigration policy during his tenure possibly the worst ever and just another fiduciary liability for the american economy, read: liability

amen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mbBbFH9fAg

unemployment in america

so many unemployed in america these days...... benji has some advice for you, having been unemployed and homeless numerous times............

first of all, you have something going for you that benji doesn't: you have an american passport, that means you can fly in and out of america at will.......... unfortunately, you don't know how to fly

you've got the tv on, but the only thing showing is the same program over and over again: hollywood bullshit....... you need to turn the tv off immediately, it will poison your mind.... internet videos are self-education are ok, but not 'entertainment' shows...... these 'shows' will turn you into an arch fuckwit......  they are for the contented, fat, middle class masses..... you belonged to that class only last thursday but now you're new home is a cardboard box and it's address is: 'this way up', so turn off the tv.......put aluminum foil inside your hat if you think it will help

think: as an american, now you're not paying taxes, you cannot help support the military in its world-wide role of peacekeeper and picker and chooser of winners and losers around the world, they will have to get their over 50% of the u.s. tax base from someone else........furthermore you are now a burden to your society! you are on food-stamps, getting benefits to pay your electricity, why if you're not on the cardboard box or in the homeless shelter, there's every chance you are getting more handouts than the bum on the street to pay your electricity bills! more money you are depriving the military and the taxpayers!

why do you want to continue on this path of long term unemployment?

solution: get a backpack, some clean underwear, two or three good pairs of pants, some nice shirts...... leave your computer at home --- settle your affairs and if you have student loans consider defaulting on them..... do not leave things in storage that costs money, minimize the objects you owe..... if you have large amounts of money in the bank, consider divesting a large part of it to charity or else set up relevant trust funds for yourself or your children or whoever.... complete a will if necessary..........

choose a region of the world to spend the next two years of your life: eastern europe, africa, russia, china, australia, wherever

organize your visas and health insurance and buy an airfare and start a new page in your life

here's a list of cities i have visited and spent months or weeks in, in some cases knowing little to none of their language:

seoul, winter haven, biloxi, nyc, los angeles, richmond va, sedona arizona, phoenix arizona, shandong, jilin, guangdong province china, sofia bulgaria, paris france, etc

you can pretty much get a job anywhere! surprise to say, people around the world are people, they are all equal before God, all of them have dignity, family relationships, friends, jobs and short and long term plans........ many of them have failed relationships, wounded relationships, the same kinds of problems you have.......... i just can't understand people that spend years and years unemployed and feeling sorry for themselves unless they have serious psychological issues.... but then, why would they blame that on unemployment........unemployment isn't the problem and the economy isn't the problem, their mindset is the problem!

look at the following youtube video of the six million dollar man:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-D99_UBhaU

do you think steve got that way by pissing and moaning in the unemployment line about what a bitch his wife was to take all his money and how ungrateful his kids are and how bitter that makes him and how cruel society is for making sofia vergara rich when he's just a pissant?

stop banging your head against a wall and get a job! go live in some other country! some other continent! even a different hemisphere! don't wait for some stupid politicians to reform some laws and make everything hunky dory for you, avoid handouts! let the shit-hoarders dig up their hidden gold in the middle of the night to gloat over, the world is your oyster! take it now!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0CeEKzCYCY

the so-called 'new world order'; the illuminati; and secret u.s. govt. technologies and factions

well let's first begin this essay by briefly comparing the relative values of fox news' glenn beck and alan colmes.... both of them are, essentially, blondes from the famous blonde jokes, so that if the two of them were to jump off a cliff, which would hit the ground first? the one that is least blonde......... ruminating on which is dumber and blonder is worthwhile for naval gazers, however this does not interest us, although probably glenn beck is the stupider, however, it could be argued.......... however even little league baseball is of more interest

the illuminati........... it is so popular among many people from america and white and black middle class backgrounds and even some other backgrounds to blame everything on the illuminati and suspect the illuminati of creating a 'one-world government' in the future and what not.............. this, however, is quite ridiculous........... there ARE freemasons and masons and even people who call themselves rosicrucians that could be even dumber than glenn beck, mentioned above, none of these people could be considered illuminati even if they are active members of groups like AMORC or the Theosophists or the Masons or whoever.......... likewise, there could be someone in a very lowly position who has not much knowledge of the things that some occultists study like the nature of matter and laws relating to the manifestation of matter, but who is so spiritual in their being that they are even more of an illuminati than the so-called illuminati........ so the expression, illuminati, is normally used in a hogwash kind of way 99% of the time......... there probably have been numerous cases of famous illuminati reincarnating into the sceptics of the illuminati without even realizing that they themselves are or were illustrious illuminati, no doubt

one of the problems are the universities........ if wishing to become a journalist, many, or most, but not all, aspirants must go to a university......the subject matter is so bare and abstract in these degrees on journalism, and the staff at the university can dismiss students at will, this happened to myself and so i missed out on getting a degree, not coming from a wealthy family that could afford litigation against the university in question....... therefore the universities are elitist and corrupt...... nor are they interested in perpetuating power on purely racial lines, although when they are, they most assuredly would never admit it....... the universities are the bitches of the liberal elitists, the two factions are inseparable....... the presumption is that the liberal elitist is a champion of the disadvantaged........ however my experience has shown me this is not true, the universities and liberal elitists will put racial preferences above any championing........... what is true for degrees in journalism is true of all liberal arts so that in an age of information abundance, we now have lettered, scholarly people who essentially cannot say or write anything without offending someone and hence being fired, as i was, from my university........then the only hope are extremely deep pockets, to take the civil matter to court..........

other considerations in wielding influence and considering corruption is purely racial/nationalistic, here we can consider america one race, regardless of skin color or political tendencies; china, another; europe, while not one race, one united political entity, russia, and so forth

generally, people willing to point fingers at the illuminati, or the chinese, or the u.s. government or even the corrupt liberal left-wing universities, no to mention the anglo-supremacists; would probably do well to look at europe and the EU first..........  look to europe, the EU; see the rot......... look, see, rot.......LSR

finally: secret technologies controlled by u.s. govt./military interests such as flying saucers, teleporting devices, infinite energy generators, etc............. even head researchers at famous private companies like Lockheed Martin, that makes the stealth bombers, confess that the u.s. govt has a number of flying saucers, dick cheney has supposedly been photographed with one of them, who knows what technology they are sitting on?

is it safe for communist china to have this technology, supposing it exists? no.... they would immediately use it to create a giant airplane a half mile wide and use it to bomb america out of existence, fulfilling a lucid and vivid dream i once had as a small child in the early 1980s, when china was still just a little teddy bear........... similarly, can you imagine the trash of europe with unlimited energy? what a disaster, the germans would use it to make us all watch schieBe movies of people crapping in other people's mouths, the italians and spaniards would use it to make us all grovel before their nasty catholic paedophile church or black magic, no thanks

clearly, humanity is not deserving or worthy of such energy and cannot be trusted with it, so if there's anyone with such technology working for the u.s. govt. somewhere in some air force base somewhere in ohio or nevada, the best thing they can do is keep the information away from computers the chinese can crack into, so keep it off any kind of connection to the internet, and wait for a day when something can be released to the public that wouldn't immediately cause the kind of destruction that saw the end of atlantis and lemuria: unchecked energy wielded to destroy others.........then they can work on improving the technology and busy themselves with watching reporting on the british royals which we know is their deep racial passion anyway

God Bless

alien technology for propulsion quicker than light

so reading up on ufo-logy, one interesting notion presented was that some alien spaceships achieve tremendous propulsion by a technique involving using nuclear element 116 (for example).... as you know, when dealing with nuclear atoms at the heavy end of the periodic table, they have a tremendous amount of mass and shells and electrons circulating them, to brush up on high school chemistry: hyrogen is the smallest atom, it has a nucleus with a proton and neutron and it has one orbiting planet only or electron, the second biggest atom is helium, instead of just one electron orbiting the egg yolk, as it were, it has 2 electrons.... each successively bigger atom has an extra one (exactly) electron, therefore an atom like livermorium, supposedly used by alien spacecraft for propulsion, has a whopping 116 electrons, therefore it is number 116 on the scale, one of the heaviest atoms known to man, although some theories put the total amount at well over 130 atoms although these are unknown to science at present....... how do 116 atoms arrange themselves? the first orbiting circle has a maximum potential of 2 electrons (as in helium), then the next orbiting circle outside the first and each successive orbiting circle has a total space for 8 orbiting electrons...... atoms 'mate' to form compounds with opposite atoms that satisfy their need for stability by having a total of 8 electrons in their outer shell, therefore common salt, something your body can barely survive without, is a compound of the pure atom sodium and the pure atom chloride (NaCl) - sodium chloride = salt........ now if you look at the outer valencies of the two pure atoms, you see they perfectly complement eachother, like brad pit and angelina jolie (forming brangelina and then later attracting other units from around the world to produce a big family) one has only 1 electron in its outer, second shell, the other 7............ before mentioning the 'half-life' and general instability of nuclear atoms, let's also realize that there are  many variables with each atom on the table, generally speaking, although they generally all appear as gases, solids or liquids.........  take carbon, classic case, it can appear as a diamond or as coal......... diamonds are very strong, excellent for cutting and may have mystical/psychic/magical uses we don't know of, regardless, diamonds are so strong they make the best cutting/pulverizing devices (e.g., for mining).........coal is exactly the same matter as diamond but it is manifesting differently, this is because of differing amounts of protons/neutrons in individual atoms are causing differnet lattice-works of bonding patterns (adhesion/cohesion) within the matter.........

scientists have recognized approximately 3000 'isotopes' (different ways of individual atoms manifesting), sometimes referred to as nuclides.... there are nuclides with half-lives LONGER than the estimated age of the universe! this means that the 'estimated age' of the universe is a joke! in fact, science never becomes more ridiculous than when estimating the 'age' of the universe!......let's leave ridiculousness to hollywood and the filmmakers and scriptwriters, that's their area of expertise, let's focus on science.............. the heaviest atoms are nuclear (radioactive) and they have the greatest mass, if they have the greatest mass, it stands to reason that they have the greatest potential POWER (E=MC2), energy (power) equals the square of the speed of light (which is not a real number anyway but a relative value depending on certain gravitational circumstances, since the speed of light varies to a negative or non existent value when around black holes with masses so tremendous they suck the light towards it............ quickly deviating, let's say we divide energy by the speed of light squared and this equals mass....... none of it makes much sense to me, except that if you have great mass, like a black hole, you have an absence of the speed of light, the speed of light is not a constant at all, it is relative value dependent on differing gravitational forces in which light might find itself, gravity itself is dependent on mass and how mass interacts with itself as mentioned above, this depends on how atoms manifest (differing amounts of protons/neutrons), how it bonds, manifests cohesion (ie., as a diamond or as coal, depending on its isotopes)........... just considering the great difference between coal and diamond and ruminating that both are merely carbon is already a great mystery

anyway, the theory of the ufologists was that aliens achieve great propulsion by getting radio-active element 116, which, like many nuclear atoms, is unstable and immediately wants to decay to the next lowest element (115) -- nuclear atoms often have very short half-lives, sometimes fractions of a second......... many nuclear atoms continue to disintegrate rapidly until turning into common lead which is a stable, comfortable state for these short-tempered, big hitting dudes.......... however, what if you could 'prop-up' element 116, like a latin american dictator with slush fund money from the cia, so that element 116 cannot breakdown to 115 or eventually to lead but STAYS element 116, and then HARNESS the energy of the breakdown to 115....... this is the theory put by the ufologist for alien spaceship power............ it seems to make sense

let's entertain another theory, let's say for arguments sake there is an element 140..... this monster has 2 electrons like helium in its inner shell, and then a whopping 17 shells or orbital spheres, each with its maximum vacancies fully booked for the convention this weekend (8 electrons or 'guests' in the hotel/shell).... this gives us 2 + 8*17 = 138 electrons so that the 19th shell has 2 electrons............ let us imagine this is a convention centre/hotel, like the Yihe hotel (www.yihehotel.com) i spent 7 months at in guangzhou china in late 2004 thru march 14 (my son's exact birthday 8 years later) 2005........ there would be the main hotel (protons/neutrons), then 2 immediate bungalows nearby (first shell), then eight bungalows after that (second shell), through to shell number 19 with two little bungalows there

now you're cooking with power, because you have great MASS: 19 shells, the first 18 are complete and you're looking at very possibly one of the biggest, if no the biggest atom known to man........... now this atom presumably must be nuclear (radio-active) by nature, and also, the kind of atom you would find in a 'black hole' (event so powerfully massive - and yet SMALL - that it SUCKS light towards it --- tremendous MASS, very SMALL SIZE), so that if you could make a bomb with it it would make plutonium look like a hydrogen bomb that smacked nagasaki (dinky when compared to a plutonium bomb, much more powerful due to the mass involved of the active principle)......... a bomb from 'benji-onium'/ theoretical element 140 would be capable of destroying the very planet itself......... now let's say instead of making a bomb to destroy a planet with, you are interested to harvest this energy in a peaceful, intelligent way, the way the americans and russians do with nuclear energy like uranium and plutonium to power air craft carriers (which require tremendous energy) and nuclear submarines (not to mention the french who create alot of electricity with nuclear power which is very wise of them)........... now lets say there was a technique, by bombarding the element 140 with protons and neutrons and electrons, in such a way, that it couldn't explode or disintegrate back to stable lead, but at the same time, you were able to harvest the energy produced by its collapsing down to element 139, you harvest this energy, and then bombard it with a replacement electron, manipulating its protons/neutrons whatever, constantly zapping it............ you would have power to have a spaceship like the one seen over texas, a football field long, to cross vast universes......... you would just have to figure out how to harness that power............ this seems to make sense, not my theory though, someone else's

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWSrXFX51Ec

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqLUq_x2ZJg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wauzrPn0cfg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APmUWC8S1_M

at the yihe hotel you can swim and look through the glass floor of the main lobby above you at the same time.... the hotel picked up the tab for my flight to nyc on march 14, 2005, thanks yihe group!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqvnbgGPdmI

pyongyang, korea; president and rodman hang out

president: okay so now we watch movie yours, 'double team', corumbia pictures, ok? you in this movie

(comely female translator translates)

rodman: okay but lets get some belvedere, ice,  and some girls from the karaoke pit, 37, 33 and 32

president: okay no plobrem, meet you back here in five, just gonna pop some corn

rodman: sweet

5 minutes later....

president: so you help van damme in this movie and he cia how come stavros the bad guy? not you?

rodman: uh kim, i said for 37 to use violet colored nail polish, she's using lilac, it's too light, can you explain that to her?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHmg5AOX_5s

tirando

'sup bitches?  -- in spain when people ask you how you are, you can say, 'tirando' -- it means, getting by, doing ok..... literally it means 'throwing'......... flirting with someone is 'tirando los tejos' -- throwing the tiles

spain is a veritable repository of homely expressions like that, often full of meaning......

anyway, lately it's just been catch up on two old hobbies: jacking off to webporn (not in a proud way though, ha ha) and ufo-ology.......... what's amazing is that somehow the two hobbies are related... for you see, if you can acquaint yourself with the thinking of modern ufologists, most alien encounters are about abducting humans for sexual reproductive purposes, which includes egg harvesting and sperm harvesting......... all is done with superhuman technologies from different galactic monsters capable of travelling faster than the speed of light...........

i have booked counselling session for me and wifi at ivf clinic on tuesday... she is anxious to fall pregnant again and we have no ufos to abduct her and impregnate her with inter-galactic spawn...... this was one key issue making benji nervous, her anxiousness......also a general cessation of desire to co-habit with her momma which is the kid's nurse at the moment.......also we need a plan for childcare and i wanted my wife to get her momma to go home sooner - out of the picture.......... it was an emotionally volatile period, feeling like fred flintstone at the end of the episode where he is left outside of the home - instead of the sabre-tooth tiger and banging on the bedrock door screaming 'wilma!'; although HOME is only 17 minute walk away from my current home, HOME kind of feels like many, many light years away in time and space, paradoxically as we are now both in the same suburb, auburn, that we have enjoyed for years now, but somehow home/wifi/our son seem in a parallel dimension now............ that is a thankful thing in the case of her mother and time and space apart from her suits me fine........... in fact, i feel that some space monsters from ritugelen or sirius or wherever they come from are actually closer in time and space, relatively speaking, than my mother in law is now, despite her abiding in my normal home, which is, i repeat, only 17 minute walk away from my current temporary home for a few months......... this is a mystery, how can sirius, many light years from here, the purveyor of wheat to the planet earth, be closer than somewhere only a mile or two away, i can't explain it, but i feel it to be true.......... although possibly internet porn is even closer, but again, it was shot on other continents and in periods long past now too........... go figure

i haven't seen business this bad in my 5 years almost of taxi driving in sydney, these last three shifts have only made $100 each shift, that's barely $10 an hour! --- it has NEVER been this bad.......... so i will start taking time off a few days starting this sunday as it's not worth the effort, will probably go camping a few days.... get back to nature, i know a nice spot in the blue mountains that's by a lake, murphy's glen or something like that --- my car needs a replacement tire, $85, ca-ching, can you imagine working 9 hours just to buy a lousy tire? still, most people in china cannot even have a car at all, and even if they could, their roads are such jokes they'd just be sitting in traffic for 2 hours breathing crap and spitting lugeys..... tried lecturing some commie chinese girl tonight in burger king (called 'hungry jacks' here in sydney) about spitting on floor indoors being nasty, she just pretended not to understand, that's typical commie chinese for you, they'll spit on a floor anywhere indoors, even in america!

interesting stories, different angles:

1) trayvon martin case, contradicts mainstream media take:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXWlquZ-e_E


2)  this interesting documentary proposes russia's FSB orchestrated at least one attempt at bombing russian civilians in attempt to make it look like moslem terrorists in order to drive narrative in russia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLXdLMUABvU


3) mary kennedy marriage and suicide, although there's nothing on youtube to show you how bad things got for this woman who married into the kennedy family.... things got very bad for her, she ends up suiciding, before that, the courts award custody of her children to her husband bobby kennedy (son of robert f kennedy).... reading his depositions to the courts about her, it's hard to believe he made it all up, she seems to have become a real psycho.... which makes the words of interviewer (below), asking mary about her flooded georgian becoming a 'sick house, that couldn't be salvaged', interesting............... mary was punching her hubbie out, abusing him hysterically in front of their kids, had an alcohol problem........ definitely a bad relationship for bobby who seems to be a complete douche-bag, running around with dumb hollywood starlets while he's still married and having 'meaningful' affairs that last '3 months', while he is still married to kennedy................................ if it's true that Jesus really said that remarrying after putting your wife aside = adultery, if that's really true, then these men like kennedy that remarry are actually moslems...... if they surpass 4 wives prescribed by islam then they aren't moslems anymore either, maybe buddhists or something.......... anyway, despite bobby being a complete douche, mary was a psycho bitch, no question.... toxic relationship -- best to avoid eachother............ anyway, mary's in the afterlife now, she must have felt pretty tormented and scorned to get so crazy but she was still a crazy psycho anyway, and a drunk, just another suicide


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LX8_UQGN-s