staying home watching ellen

didn't get up to 430pm.... just gonna have a rest today and tomorrow --- reading about ben franklin.... who the hell was this ben franklin, anyway..... turns out he wasn't a rocker after all??????????

we'll try to be nice about ellen, so we'll avoid making reference to her intelligence.... who is benji to evaluate or in any way judge ellen's intelligence anyway..... ellen's talking to two vampire dudes -- not from benji's boriclav story but some delusional hollywooder's that have managed to make some $$$$ from their vampire stories (unlike benji) but are confused anyway.......... unlike benji.........

it's a certainty benji has never watched any twilight shows.......... why would we?

we've told u this before: you can make all the $$$$ with tv shows and movies u like but ur home is still gonna flood....... that's harsh, take a minute to give that serious thought: one second, you're prancing around like homer simpson: 'la, la, la, la, la, la' tossing flowers around, oh so happy, you have all the tv u want itchy and scratchy, etc..... beer...mmm...beer.............. next second: flood!

benji just kind of gets bored with it all: one second, 'la, la, la' and ur getting ur golden globe award and thanking ur mom and dad and santa claus, next second, boo hoo, my home was washed away, i'm stone broke...........

again, juxtaposing: la, la, la....................... boo hoo

obviously, you, pea-brained reader, cannot keep it real............

look next ellen is gonna have kursty alley..... benji has a little love for her coz she has been the butt of so many fat jokes, she really deserves some love........... also, for all those people making fat jokes, if u were driving a taxi, 12 and sometimes 14 hours or 15 hours even long.......... 3 and 4 days in a row....... u would get fat! there would be hardly any way to avoid it........... the main thing is to have an insurance policy that will cover u in the event of flooding..........

talking about taxi driving and kursty alley.......... the other day, some fatty arsehole obnoxious hater just gets in and busts out his phone (immediate no, no in a taxi stupid stupid spoilt whore-people)... benji tells the guy: please don't swear in here after the guy starts swearing offensively*.......... all of a sudden we got a hero on aisle c........... he says, "drop me off on the other side of the harbor bridge and i'll change cabs," next he doesn't want to pay, just give attitude and lip............ he manages to get out of the cab without paying, i am practically almost snatching at a 20$ note he is waving around.......... after he gets out i get $3.50 change ready as he is gonna get billed $16.50, that's for sure....... i do an illegal u-turn, he is walking down pacific highway at north sydney....... drive on other side of road from him, it is divided by a fence, now fatman is getting into another taxi, he is a real jerk...........another illegal u-turn and we floor it and block his car with my car at the next light, i get out and he now wants to pretend he doesn't even know me.............. next winning move, watch it in slow motion: hand comes out and clinically removes his glasses without damaging them....... guy is next getting out of car and handing over those $20 whereupon benji gives him his change and his glasses and yells in his face: 'you don't have a right to swear in a taxi!'**

oh, just got some ellen montage of crap on my leg..... you kind of end up feeling if u watch ellen more than 1 hour a week you will become dumber and stupider, on one hand u kind of find urself liking ellen a little bit, but on the other you kind of want to order a firing squad to just take her down... it's conflicting


*note: there is WAY too much swearing these days...... you think you're being cool by swearing but in fact ur just a stupid spoilt whore like paris hilton in that south park episode, you think ur something else, something bigger and better than that but you're just not

** alot of morons like to talk about 'free speech' but no-one cares about the idea of the 'right to free assembly'......... the 'right to free assembly' in many ways cuts out the right to 'free speech' because if you are screaming in my ear offensively than i am no longer enjoying 'free assembly' and according to some, that would be like trying to alienate an inalienable right.........