remember him? we hardly ever go there on benji's blog or in benji reality --- but now, sitting at kovac's, installing some adobe premier filmmaking software (cracks knuckles)
as we install (cracks neck - pop pop - looks like we're gonna need some cuts and edits), benji will watch conan for the first time in about 1 year or so, give or take a few months.... and sit in judgement of conan.......... he's talking about petraeus - he's doing his little stand-up routine, his first joke: hard-cover or extremely hard-cover is not at all funny -- doesn't matter how many pot-smoking gumby zombies laugh, it's still not funny........ truly humorous people are born in december and january anyway, not april like o'brien who just wants to be famous, at least it's part of his natural soul impulses to be famous, the problem is he's not famous for anything useful......
now obrien mentions a rotary phone, it's hard to say who is more pitiful, o'brien or andy.... in any case both are very pitiful....
what's sad about o'brien and his audience is that it's a classic case of herd instinct/herd mentality....... obviously this party is about as interesting as standing around scratching sand in northern africa somewhere with all the camel riders there........ what's amazing is that these losers cannot even see that about themselves......... they seek safety in numbers, 1 million or whatever o'brien's viewership is...... better to have no fans like benji than be a moron idiot like o'brien with so many fans......... see, even benji's jokes about o'brien's stupidity is funnier than o'brien's pathetic writers......... how is it possible they are so pathetic????
the pothead loser writers almost came with something funny with the james bond skyfall museum thing but again failure, at this point you are rooting for them to stop dying so miserably.....
then, in another losing move, o'brien invokes 'ricky gervais' -- ricky gervais is an extremely obnoxious englishman who does nothing apart from try to be obnoxious and annoying..... invoking him signals o'brien as another pathetic anglo-saxon-named american loser - one of many - plenty of company there for him - writing/intellectuality is not their forte --- let o'brien's alma mater continue handing out degrees for free to black people and communists from eastern europe
then there was some cop show skit, again lame and foolish --- pitiful......... o'brien's skill set so far:
a) having an english or irish surname as opposed to something 'uncool' from hungary sounding name
b) being a has been/wash up
okay hit! first funny thing of the show! congrats! finally, you scored losers! some black guy is commenting on comments from some website (it's always fun to read common peoples comments on i-net)..... the funny comment was 'old lionel richie looking motherf*cker'........... that was the only funny thing of the entire show - that's for sure
now there's some lame dude making 'funny' retorts to the hateful user comments, but the guy isn't funny -- the audience is laughing but half of them are unemployed with underwater mortgages so what would they know anyway, not much right? his strong point is wearing a pink shirt.... apart from that he is weakness incarnate on an entertainment level -- maybe he is a good athlete or something -- he should just stick with that
poor o'brien doesn't even realize he's an unfunny zombie -- he's sitting with some loser in a blue tie talking about bigfoot.... maybe the guy is a football player - he drives a porsche - that means he has portions of porschens* (*just coined a verb)..... he's someone rickter... an unknown.... he played football in college, university of washington, they gave him a ring..... the cops saw him wearing a ring, he was a huskies fan, the cop, the ring now stays in the glove compartment.....
it's getting boring hearing the footie player's sob stories.... starting to wonder if o'brien shouldn't just spend a week or a whole month having a bake'n'sale or cake'n'bake or whatever they do over in america...... can you see o'brien wearing a white apron and a big chef's hat and baking cookies in a big old oven with midgets and dwarves.......... at this point in his career, o'brien needs to pull a hail mary becoz he is sinking faster than the fish benji snorkels with
now the footie guy is talking about his kid, that's watchable......... joel mccale is the guy's name maybe.... there's someone called bobo, he is like gabbo from the simpsons, we mustn't despise o'brien, he gave us the simpsons, if only his comedic genius hadn't flamed out.... now it's just all smoke.....
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0570364/bio
now 'bobo' is here, it's not gabbo, it's some fat guy that hunts bigfoot..... kovac's crib is ideal for watching o'brien, about once a year.... the last time o'brien was on fire, he had games like high-jump with octomom (one of the fetuses fell out!)..... some labtop porn looking dude doing a high-jump.... it was really funny! that was the last o'brien benji saw until today
maybe they are having a bad month or something in o'brien land.... big foot guy sure knows how to holler for a big-foot.... met kovac's housemates today for first time ever.... bunch of scots or something --- none of them seem to place a high stake on personal hygiene.... no matter.....
there's a stand-up guy called samual, maybe he can salvage this failed exercise.... he has tourette's syndrome, but it's not funny.... you'd think it would be funny, making fun of people with tourettes, some easy target, a sure thing, but this guy finds a way to muff it up.... hey that was a good one! Score two for o'brien show: 'walk into a coffeeshop all confident: mochalatte bitches!' (+tic)........... that's 2 points for o'brien (technically 1.5).........
hey i figured out my sperm was probably lousy coz i was using my labtop on my lap and the radiation and shit........ not coz i'm a reject......... good to know
the tourette's guy still isn't funny.....
shake'n' bake! that's what uncle sam calls it! that's some american thing, not sure exactly what it is, but conan should probably do a show with shake'n'bake coz at this point, he has nothing to lose, his show having turned into one of those dudes you see in skid row LA sleeping on a cardboard box....
now i'm asking kovac if tourett'es guy samual is saying he really has tourettes
anyway, the highlight of this show is that this dead dog has expired... good riddance..........
ok, now we have a new o'brien, o'brien has come out alot stronger, now he's reviewing the 'hitman' video game......... goon on you for not dying like in that other episode o'brien! congrats.... maybe the great pumpkin or some such famous american celebrity non americans don't understand the mastery of died and that's why everyone was so sullen and subdued like at a funeral in that previous o'brien we just reviewed
o'brien is dressing as a scare crow, his number is 47, there's a hula girl statue..... they are mulching a dead body on a corn farm....
next o'brien will have the girl from twlight, kristin stewart.... so far benji has zero opinion of kristin stewart neither good nor bad.... benji doesn't watch dumb tv shows for lame americans and people from england but if other people want to that's their business, and who can blame stewart for wanting to make a ton of money making some dumb show, right? no-one
now there's some sitcom for tbs.... o'brien is dressed as francis bacon and he has a black son..... sir richard elkington is francis bacon.... now o'brien is doing nice hat johnnie depp.... so in other words, he has flipped over to mindless/zombie mode.... soulless.... maybe his soul is flying around disassociated from o'brien's mind while he looks for guzmans......... maybe his soul is in this room somewhere, nope..... andy has tic-tacs...... it's like watching turkish tv... it's not entertaining....
cats sad that romney lost shows potential but maybe they should turn the volume down on all the unemployed underwater-mortgage-holding gfc-victims dumb laughter..... that's mean right? if conan o'brien sux and he does, saying so makes benji mean, better to just pretend it's funny like all the unemployed underwater-mortgage-holding gfc-victim dummies in the audience
now stewart's on... she loves anglo-saxon names and isn't hispanic....... don't know anything else about her.... anyway kovac wants to 'skip the twilight shit' -- so he's fast forwarding it
now some guy is having a tantrum coz his mother cancelled his world of warcraft account.... now there's some guy called glen howerton... he's special coz he has an anglo-saxon surname and not something difficult to pronounce from africa or somewhere else with weird sounding names.... so far he has no other talents.... he's also not fat..... this show is turning back into morbidly depressing territory... maybe if they canned o'brien's show and tv in general depression rates would go down......... watching too much tv leads to lack of sunlite and lack of exercise......
the two flailing drowners continue delusionally invoking 'america'... as if 'america' is watching them...... their total viewership in america, if it's over 1 million or 2 million, whatever it is, it's failed people, they'll all die and reincarnate somewhere else...... the jokes might be funnier if the writers stop smoking pot....... now there's some singer and then another funeral of talent will be over.... it looks like o'brien's show has turned into a funeral for aspiring but non existent talent
looks like at least the singer girl can sing... there's two hot girls wearing sexy outfits and one of them can sing... that's something and something is better than nothing.......... those girls have nice legs.... meow...look at those gorgeous legs..... tap tap... talking about the drummer...tap tap...
now kovac is playing call of duty, correction, trying to play it, something is blocking him, some software glitch, so we're just getting the dark offsetting music.... meantime kovac's abode premier extra templates install on benji's pc.... will go visit murphy in an hour or so...wifey has to get train to quaker's hill instead of just to auburn.... she'll be sure to be whiney as it's her strong suit
kovac's game got to working and the machine gun sound effects on high level volume was too much to bear so picked up wifey from westmead after more whining and disobedience...if only children were educated from age 3 onwards at schools to not yack on their phones around strangers and for females to obey males.........
murphy wanted to show off some picture of bruce lee he'd probably spent way too much time on, a whole bunch of guns pointed at bruce lee and bruce lee looking freaked out..... 'want me to put it on my blog to share with the world murphy?'........... no, murphy did not want to share it with the whole world, the whole thing was too incestuous therefore.......... then we caught some peewee herman from the 1980s including a long joke told to a youthful looking dave letterman about a guy with no arms ringing a bell (punchline: your face rings a bell)... what a genius........ from peewee herman, and murphy's whinings about australia this and australia that we caught some humphrey b bear, an australian big bear for kids:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEOc6FSASX4 (humphrey doing gangnam style)
also, to those nay-sayers that would say conan does not have a prayer of saying something funny, watch my prayer to God for Conan to say sthmg funny:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aM5u7v7l_Jk&feature=youtu.be&noredirect=1
there's a picture of kovac in the Oval Office passing president Obama the telephone, it's Benji on the other end calling from some shake'n'bake somewhere inside an igloo, asking Obama if he had a son would it look like Token from South Parkanyway it turns out murphy did share sthmg with the world: some techno song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vkii05eM6OA&feature=youtu.be
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