Rare and unusual opportunity for south park creators to 'reseed,' war-torn Sudan with they seed

 

Perhaps inspired by Orgasmo, EU delegates are said to be in discussion about a futuristic program to genetically reseed Sudan using south park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone's seed.

'Basically our scientists have used AI to conclude Sudanese DNA is too machy machy and leading the entire theatre down a path of failure. Using AI we realised with some creative white flair from Parker and Stone and some cross pollination from a women's prison in Mongolia, we can develop the perfect genetic antidote to Sudan's collective DNA genetic misgivings,' a Polish scientist close to the elite 'Stürm' group disclosed on condition of anonymity.

When probed about how this would work in practice with Parker and Stone given they busy schedules and personal lives and legal responsibilities to spouses and family and significant others the Polish scientist disclosed that an Amazon courier driver could be sent to the South Park production studio where a new episode is developed every six weeks. Parker and Stone would only have to jack off once into a quarter ounce sterile plastic cup after which the Amazon courier could put the specimens in an icebox and ship it to Canada for cross pollination with selected female Mongolian prison inmates as per the AI algorithm.

When asked if too much of the EU's new fangled genetic material could cause a preponderance of certain genetic types in Sudan the Polish scientist downplayed it saying Sudan currently was a complete basket case. 'Our AI genetic algorithm has selected tremendous amounts of genetic material from the female Mongolian prison inmate group.' How about deploying the new DNA? Apparently the Polish scientist close to the elite 'Stürm' group funded by the EU program says volunteer immigrants who like airplanes and adventure have been saved from capsizing in the Mediterranean on overloaded seafaring vessels and sent on to Sudan to work as comfort workers for militias in Sudan hellbent on destruction. The volunteers carry the new genetic code via CRISPr deployment to their nasal passages. 'Nine months later we should be seeing results,' the Pole signposted.