Check it out:
https://youtu.be/mw9uKzy4GRs
Also, you're dating Rose McGowan or just hanging out with her as friends (not literally hanging like from a rope though turning blue or whatever) and she's getting tired of your comparisons of her with the mouth of Sauron (actually pronounced Tower on, not sour Ron). It's time to put the shoe on the other foot. Get her to pretend to be Eowyn and have her chop your bat's head off then rub stuff in your face while you pretend to be the Nazgul chief head witch king of Angmar badass. It sounds kinky, it doesn't have to be though. See how it goes.
Not that Tom btw, also short though...
https://youtu.be/gH1n2yAWb20
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