homeless

goodbye sweet apartment..... The last time Desi went to Bulgaria with Alex a few months, when he was two months old, really did enjoy the peace and quiet of our apartment in auburn.... 3 months! Just like this time! Not withstanding the airbnb guests coming and going.... Same these past few weeks... But couple from Paris arrived today, real nice people so abandoning my crib a month for a university kids household.... They both smoke cigarettes so I jonesed a few from them then bought a pack for the first time in over a week I guess, I'd been cutting down....


had the damndest dream two nights ago, all I could see with my spirit, dream body were the eyes of a crocodile, not even the rims, just the eyeballs filled the vision which was a spiritual vision. They were green eyes and the pupils weren't slit like like a cat but more human like, but very green and cloudy. And they changed, as if the crocodile blinked, but you couldn't see eyelids or a body. Don't know about you, but when I think of a crocodile, I think of a killing machine. That's what they are to me. The dream wasn't scary or hellish, mostly just memorable. Crocodiles are sneaky too, they hide very well and sneak up on their prey and just kill them dead.


at Kmart reading montage of heck right now about curt cobain.


Alex and Scarlet are at their grandfathers farmhouse near the Bulgarian border with Serbia, and their mom. Their grandma is in Sofia all week working.


I became estranged from my mother after she told me she's cutting me out of her will. I don't think Alex liked her or my brother that lives with her (and really wants to own her house!) that much, and we only brought Scarlet over there one time. They're kind of creepy anyway coz of all the drugs they're on and their lifestyle. So don't visit them anymore and my mother never bothers to contact me even though she can just write or call whenever.




I feel happy, the kingdom of heaven is within, right!? Hopefully my wife won't drive me crazy when she gets back. Women are good at that.


well Desi left me with a $24 voucher from Kmart and that's exactly what they're charging for montage of heck. But too pricey, so probably won't buy it. Thought about getting it for one of my buddy's who's having a birthday soon but too expensive.


sure enjoy reading occasionally about rock stars, especially cobain and Jim Morrison.


some kid was giving me shit on school bus that I operate on weekdays yesterday. Hope nothing comes from that. Australia used to have the highest youth suicide rate in the world, I feel sympathetic to the youth here because all the freedoms they have and the dysfunction in society can really drive them crazy. I remember when I was almost 16, in months leading up to migrating to Spain, I dropped out of school and was pretty depressed, I'd listen to nirvana nevermind like everyday. That was in 1992. I was only in Spain five months, about the same amount of time in dropout limbo before I left when I returned to Sydney, much higher in spirits, it was when I got back a couple of friends insisted I listen to other nirvana music like dive, etc.


I wonder how Alex is going to react to me when he gets back, maybe grumpy and standoffish for a week I'm guessing, or crying a lot, then same old same old I'm guessing. Apparently he's real well potty trained now and only needs a nappy at night.