bunch of hengaillan coming out at the cinemas, try not to step in it

http://m.smh.com.au/entertainment/one-killed-two-injured-on-martin-scorsese-film-set-in-taiwan-20150201-132yvf.html

for the initiated, hengaillan is Russian Finn Kirka's contribution to humanity, amongst other ballads, in the realm of basic pop or Finnish pop. On benjis blog it's a basic measuring standard to compare the merits of a film and the time wasted watching it, as compared to enjoying listening to hengaillan a few times.

case in point, mark Wahlbergs "the gambler", it should be obvious this dvd belongs to the hengaillan basket. So go make a label and stick it there. Likewise, if you see Wahlbergs gambler on some grass in the park, do everyone a favor and pick it up with a plastic bag and trash it as someone might step in it.

advance warning, scorcese hasn't died yet and is still making hengaillan. This guy probably hasn't been able to make anything worth watching since kundun. Maybe he should try making a movie about Indians of the sitting bull variety, or just find someone like me that actually could make a good movie and produce it for them. Anyway, scorcese out of touch with reality, watch out you don't step on "silence" in 2016.

50 shades of dildo, with Angelina doodle girl. This movie screams hengaillan as you smell it coming over the horizon in slow motion. Don't waste your time with this crap. You can just imagine the pandemic of violent love it's going to kick off amongst the sheeple on tinder.

why waste hours with obvious crap when watching hengaillaan only takes three minutes:

http://youtu.be/5G_vnjEL9R4

later bitches

Australian politics and media: today

hey all, generally we steer clear of the topic, pretending not to notice it most of the time as it's generally so provincial and other worldly, being a primarily English affair. Frequently boring and plodding, in the English way. And often corrupt due to collusion between the media and the parties and PR people in unethical ways. Sometimes embarrassing due to uncouth, incompetent manners and thinking, mostly based around the psychology of substituting dean for teen in speech.

now at present, the prime minister, Abbott, has annoyed some people without realizing he would by offering an honor, an English one, to the Queen's husband, which he is perfectly entitled to do and it's certainly no more offensive than an English woman, who happens to have Australian citizenship, being awarded Australian of the year simply because her crazy and cruel ex husband murdered their child with a cricket bat! (absurd).

unfortunately, the English media here are too dimwitted or afraid to note the obvious, that it's very in appropriate to be awarded Australian of the year merely for being a victim of crime, and it just goes to show that being English is the first consideration when receiving an award. After all, how many victims of domestic murder of non English ethnicity in Australia would ever be rewarded with such a dubious distinction? (hint zero unless maybe you were Irish).

so now we have a power play at Abbots position of prime minister being led by the left wing media, for example, the Sydney morning herald, who absolutely don't like Abbott at all, simply under the pretense, somewhat fake, somewhat sincere, that a non Australian citizen should not be awarded a distinction by the prime minister which they feel, somewhat sincerely, although equally hypocritically, harkens too closely to the monarchy. Hypocrisy anyway since the English on the left are thorough monarchists anyway.

the foregoing is an accurate appraisal of affairs here and it's only an interesting topic in the sense that it demonstrates the ability of a disingenuous media agenda to dislodge or potentially dislodge a leader. Abbots policies, most all of which have ruffled so many feathers, although people like myself (who don't vote liberal) and staunch liberal voters all find his policies agreeable.

it's unlikely the left wing media will be able to force the issue they want: Abbot gone. And i would think unlikely, uncharacteristic, of the liberal party to dislodge him.

if i were Abbot i wouldn't apologize for anything and wouldn't let the idiot left wing media go jerking him around. Essentially the left wing media are saying they are retarded because it's good to give a person of English ethnicity whose family tragically imploded an award for being a murder victim but not the queen's husband because he's not an Australian citizen. That's retarded. The whole thing is retarded. If Abbot apologizes for something it should be for so many parties being retarded.

live blog, Australian open tennis, womens final

'sup bitches. .

Williams really starting to dominate, one set up and will she make it 2 love in the second set? Sharapova looking to hold on

live blogging glen beck

he rants on for hours about how he can't tolerate people bigoted against other religions while constantly railing against Islam!!! wha??? Hello? Anyone there? Wheres Becky boys brain?

moments later. Time for beddy bies. Night John boy, good luck with your kampf Beck.

Russia vs EU posturing; Dershowitz scandal

howdy bitches,
in the past few hours, some prominent Russians like lavrov and Gorbachev have come out intimating that a major conventional or even nuclear war could arise over Ukraine.

really though? Does Russia really want to nuke Europe? And would they actually be doing the world a favor by doing so?

setting aside Crimea, which really, Russia should be left to keep without grumblings, how is it the Russians can't honor Ukraines eastern border and just repatriate the rebels to somewhere east of the border? Honestly, if Stalinist Russia could force migrate over fifty million people and scores of ethnicities thousands of miles, surely they can repatriate and few thousand eastern Ukrainians a few miles and build them some new cities and give them Russian passports like in the Georgian intervention in 2008. These Russians are really childish characters in all this. Such inability to compromise is childish.

Greece, this is going to be very interesting, their looming faceoff with the eu, very interesting. Just wait a few weeks.

Dershowitz. Has spoken with Lauer, Guthrie and Lemon. Poor lemon was unfairly attacked for his black hole comments and obvious smell of pot comments but he was jolly well right on both counts. The Roberts group case against the federal government will certainly result in a victory for them, possibly a settlement. Just ridiculous how expensive lawyers can get you away with murder. Absolutely ridiculous. Next big name to interview douchowitz, let them ask him his 'honest' opinion of his client Epsteins criminal conduct. Douchowitz is very possibly a massive liar. It's a really spicy case for all the gossip mongers out there, who doesn't love a good scandal? If you take the time to read all the details, very interesting, very scandalous!

pity and compassion for the golden globes actors

http://feralhouse.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/The-Gates-of-Janus_excerpt.pdf

http://www.smh.com.au/national/jewish-sex-abuse-victims-pressured-not-to-assist-police-secret-tapes-and-emails-reveal-20150127-12zcfa.html

howdy buddies, a couple of items before we launch onto a pompous and condescending finale...... first of all, from the last posting, about the Moors murderers of 1960s england, the male part of the man/woman team (which could possibly be played by Tina Fey in a future role, just sport a haircut - looks practically the same anyway), actually wrote a book while he was in prison about how to identify serial killers --- it makes for interesting reading in conjunction with a biography about the man........clearly he had been reading a lot in prison and had educated himself somewhat

secondly we have a story about ongoing child sexual abuse in melbourne and sydney australia amongst the jewish community -- you know, it wasn't that long ago i was toying with the idea of having my kid attend some jewish kind of events here, since he's going to daycare with arabs these days, he might as well get some exposure to jews too --- however, after reading this newspaper article, there is absolutely no way, something is definitely rotten in the state of denmark horatio, and bitches

finally, watching the phillipino news today with the volume muted, whilst enjoying coffee and chocolate cupcakes with excellent icing for breakfast, feeling somewhat listless, i noticed some kind of pre-oscar award ceremony on the phillipino news, feeling too lazy to block the vision, despite the poor subject matter, i then had some kind of insightful moment, i began to imagine how buddha would feel when measuring the ignorant before him and the compassion that might move him and i too felt a similar emotion, so that i might be able to answer someone's question, were they to ask: what would buddha do?............... sadly, these ignorami are incapable of producing three quarters of a movie per year, if that, seriously worth watching.........it seems after defeating the english to avoid paying taxes, they focused simply on white supremacy and the anglocizing of surnames of poland or wherever, so that nowadays, we have the troubling situation of FBI agents actively spending tax-payer money guarding these nitwit thespians while practically breaking their necks in a furious attempt to 'look the other way' while australian universities, in partnership with american universities, sell degrees based on english language, to communist chinese that can't even speak english -- i suppose it all fits in with their anglo-nordic anglocized supremacist world view...... just hope they don't get you blown up rubbing all the arab moslems around the wrong way................ ok, that was the pompous finale, have a great one bitches, hugs all round

movie review: foxcatcher

we haven't actually seen the movie to review it, but nowadays, you can get a pretty good idea about movies just by reading the reviews on imdb or elsewhere and watching a trailer or two........ let's quickly note some of the facts about the real life character the movie is based on........some dupont family member worth $200 MILLION dollars........ everyone knows the dupont family are a huge massively wealthy american industrialist family.......... somehow, opposites attract, and the fabulously wealthy american man John Eleuthere duPont decides to leave 80% of his wealth to 1996 olympic gold medal winning wrestler from bulgaria Valentin Jordanov Dimitrov, who was born on australia day, 55 years ago.......... also on australia day, 19 years ago, aforementioned dupont, murders an american olympic gold medal winning wrestler Schultz (who is a long term resident trainer on his farm) on his farm in Schultz's driveway

clearly his obsessions ran around the bulgarian wrestler and not sure if this is even mentioned in the movie, also the movie depicts one of the american wrestling brothers as a dimwit, not hard for channing tatum to play a neanderthal one supposes, whereas the real guy in real life apparently wasn't such an ape........

anyway, we just want to say, that just because we don't want to watch this movie, it doesn't make us terrorists, nor does it mean we want to go marry our cousins and live in pakistan and go to madrasas and become suicide bombers...........also, we understand it's a 'break-through' and 'break-out' role for steve carroll (who has never done anything funny in real life in all of his comedies, kind of like hitler but much less murderous - until now) and tatum, but again, we just aren't real interested in the movie (although the real life character seems somewhat interesting)............by analogy, say tina fey and the insignificant, worthless blonde 'comedian' that is her 'peer' (fellow homeless person/mentally ill whackjob) - obviously that description is meant in a light-hearted, friendly way - you know the one in the flash gordon skating movie - blades of glory --- say those two were to suddenly play 'serious' characters, not meant to be funny, say the Moors murderers of 1960s england (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moors_murders), again, we wouldn't be interested, but this wouldn't mean either that we'd be interested to go to syria and become a terrorist...........you can see an emerging pattern there: not necessarily being interested in every turd hollywood tries to sling our way doesn't necessarily mean we're terrorists

thank you and please stop australian universities from selling degrees to communist chinese millionaire kids that can't even speak english, thanks

happy australia day bitches

hewwo bitches............. just some thoughts to add here on australia day......... despite being born into a family from spain, which is to say, a catholic family, as there is basically no such thing as a family from spain that isn't catholic, not having been raised to go to any church or observe any kind of catholic rites that weren't subconsciously drummed in over various centuries of spanish culture, i find myself going to an anglican church these days, which has, as its head, the head of State of England, which is, of course, queen elizabeth the 2nd, and the anglican church has been this way since henry the 8th, who was, i think the grandfather of queen elizabeth the 1st, decided to succeed from the catholic church and extricate england from spanish influence, which, at the time, was quite strong......... being an alien race, i suppose the english way of worship of Christ, strikes me as somewhat odd, therefore, while at church, i find myself substituting all l' and r's with w's during hymn singing time and so forth, just thought would mention that.... i really (weawwy) only go to church as i find myself responsible for my toddler child on sundays so it's a good place to be, i found an adventist church that does services in spanish which i'd like to bring my son to so as enhance his spanish language skills but it's difficult to get there without a car so haven't gone yet but will do so later.....

check out picture number one here, it's a drawing by myself, copied from sight from a plate which commemorated the church tower in my mom's village in spain: aguilar de campoo

 next we have a picture of myself at age 19 or 20, approximately, with my sister raq, some 26 years old in the picture, somewhere near London in like 1996, possibly Gatwick airport............ unfortunately, raq and her father, pops, both suicided in 1999 and 2008 by 'necking themselves' as is said colloquially in australia.... it's interesting to note that just north of sydney, in the central coast, there is a demographic not extremely dissimilar to the western sydney where my family hails from where the phenomenon of 'necking oneself' is unfortunately, exceedingly common.... so that it has boasted, at some point not so long ago, if not still: one of the world's highest rates for youth suicide, it was common for high school seniors to go to their garages and 'neck themselves', for example, in a similar manner to raquel and pops..........oh the tragedy

 next picture we have a number of pictures: two black towers, one representing new york, another aguilar de campoo.....then from left to right, middle picture: my bro jose in his recent university graduation, he studies accounting and is doing a master's degree........he also has a diploma from a community college in accounting so he has been at it for quite a while........then a small shot which we won't mention, then raq having a squirt from some kind of antiquated wine pouch, then there's a shot of my sister trish in spain, in cuenca, a few years ago, with her uncle nacho, which is my mother's brother....she still lives in spain now..... there's a shot behind that of my boy alex, who is half spanish, quarter russian, quarter serb, at around age 2 months and then next to that da vinci's famous ferret lady, and beneath that, me and wifey in vienna, austria, sometime around mid 2007

asdf

Israel mourns Saudi Arabian king's death; Greece votes - bigger lollipops or more ice scream sundae

Jerusalem,
Israeli mourners openly beat their chests after ripping off their shirts and self-flagellating with date palm fronds after learning that the king of Saudi Arabia has passed away.

"Whenever our children would fall off their skateboards and scrape their knees, or just be looking for a spare few sheckels for ice cream, or when Hamas militants would shoot them in the head, it seemed the Saudi king was always there with a kind gesture or a word of support," said Salma Goldstein, through tears, a first generation Israeli Jew whose parents had immigrated from the Bronx in New York City just two years before she was born in 1963. "When Obama and Kerry cry for him, those aren't real tears, they just want to keep everything sweet with the oil supply, our tears are based on decades of selfless love and support from our Saudi brothers."

in other news, the EU's powerhouse economy and quiet achiever, Greece, is headed to the election polls as we speak, in a vote largely seen about greater prosperity today or the day after today (tomorrow). Greece is widely viewed to continue breaking records in terms of budget surplus and overall prosperity. "we've set up soup kitchens for the public just so we can see how poor people in other countries live, such as southern California and el Salvador, things couldn't be rosier," said Kostas Giannarkous outside that famous building, the acropolis or something.

Israeli and Palestinian Presidents, Netanyahu and Abbas deny they are teaming up on a k-pop smash-hit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4HnJWou-zA   (K-pop)


Rooters, Tel-Aviv, West Bank, with additional reporting from Seoul and Pusan


"Who told you that? Barry?" Israeli President Benjamin Netanyahu spattered with disbelief, his eyes visibly rolling in his head as a look of incredible disbelief takes a hold of his face, as if he'd just seen a UFO up close. Pausing for a moment, he continued: "there is absolutely no way in hell I would ever team up with Abbas to produce a K-Pop video."

When asked questions such as: why, whether it's because Abbas lacked creative talent, if that lack of talent couldn't be compensated by collaborating with some of the world's greatest names in K-Pop, such as Yuki Gwakalaka or Bong Dingdong; or perhaps because of scheduling conflicts; Netanyahu again seemed to misunderstand. "Well no, it's essentially because of his personal position on terrorism and Hamas especially."

"So you would be willing to work on a K-Pop production with Abbas if he renounced terrorism?"

"He wouldn't just have to renounce terrorism, he would have to prove he's willing to disarm all terrorists and para-military forces in the west bank, even return pocket knives and bb-guns."

For his part, Abbas reiterated that he'd be happy to work on a K-Pop production with Netanyahu but that first the Israelis should stop trying to bulldoze the remainder of Palestinian Arabs on the west bank into the Mediterranean. "A few cardboard boxes for us to sleep on at night wouldn't hurt, and maybe some free Happy Meals every now and then wouldn't hurt either, as a goodwill gesture."

Netanyahu went on to iterate that even if the Palestinians handed in every last gun, rocket launcher, bullet, knife and slingshot, even to the extent of only using plastic knives in their kitchens, and arranged themselves to live in a ten metre strip of land from the mediterranean sea, effectively leaving their vacated land open to new Jewish settlements, that even in those circumstances, the ultra-orthodox Jewish constituency, would absolutely frown on him producing a K-Pop video with Abbas. When asked why, he went on to explain that their extremely orthodox vision of Judaism meant that they could not even slaughter a cow for consumption unless it was a new moon, the cow had said moo moo precisely two times, not more or less, at the exact moment the sun showed itself on the horizon at dawn, and that the cow must have birth markings on it's left rear rump and front left knee. That this orthodoxy effectively rendered them unable to even go to McDonald's for a Big Mac, and other such orthodoxies meant it was impossible that he could participate with Abbas on a K-Pop video without losing this important constituency's vote.

When asked if it would be worth losing this constituency's vote, in exchange for all Palestinian Arabs, of Israeli and non-Israeli citizenship, surrendering all weapons, bullets, rocket launchers, slingshots and even foregoing regular cooking knives for soft plastic knives, and migrating to foreign lands like Syria, Jordan, Turkey or Luxembourg, Netanyahu looked non-plussed. "What kind of K-Pop video are we talking about? How long would it take to produce? And what would I have to do with Abbas to make it? And how would he agree to those terms, effectively agreeing to to relocate his people from Palestine, to somewhere else, for all times' sake?"

To which questions he was responded that a typical K-Pop video could be shot in about ten days time, with editing taking another week or so, that a standard video involves a number of pretty Korean women half-naked gyrating sensuously, possibly with poles, lip-synching to some Korean K-Pop song.

"Who would write the music? Who would write the lyrics? Would it even be kosher?" Netanyahu responded.

At which point he was asked, "is there even such a thing as a kosher K-Pop song?"

At which point, the interview was delayed and the question of whether it's possible for a K-Pop song to even be kosher was forwarded to the leading Rabbis of Israeli who debated the matter for a number of weeks. Amongst their debaters, arguments such as: Y-hweh created everything, the Sun and the Earth, and the people populating the planet, therefore Y-hweh created the Koreans and the Koreans, in turn, created K-Pop music, therefore, indirectly, Y-hweh created K-Pop music, ergo it is potentially kosher. To which argument, other, more conservative Rabbis, argued that it's blasphemy to argue suchlike, as it is tantamount to saying Hitler could be deemed kosher as Y-hweh was ultimately responsible for Hitler and the Nazis existence. Still others argued that as the Koreans are not Jewish, it is not possible for K-Pop to be kosher. However others argued that it is possible for any of Y-hweh's children to convert to Judaism, even if they are not of Jewish ethnicity in any wise, ergo it is possible for Koreans to be Jews and therefore it is possible to produce a kosher K-Pop video, in theory. Arguments then ran on for various weeks on specifically how this could be done.

Finally, even the most orthodox of Rabbis agreed that the ends justified the means, and that if it were possible to have every last Palestinian Arab forego the right to bear arms in Palestine, for all times sake, or better yet, walk into the sea - never to return, or take a first class, one way ticket to some other land, forever, which they would happily pay for, and leave their vacated lands open to new Jewish settlements, that indeed: the ends would justify the means. Therefore a majority of Rabbis agreed that it could be not only kosher, but desireable for Netanyahu to produce a K-Pop video with Abbas. Technicalities were discussed such as how to keep everything kosher, at each point of K-Pop production, which we will not mention herein. Finally, the question arose: what if Abbas re-nigged? How they they trust Abbas to keep his word on anything? What would be the point of producing a K-Pop video with him if he were just to turn around and say: "double dibs! I had my fingers crossed behind my back the whole time! Ner-ni-ner-ner-ner-ner!" childishly, as it were. A consensus arose that Abbas must arrange for all provisions to be enacted BEFORE the production of said K-Pop video.

movie review: birdman (michael keaton) 2014

hey this movie really worked!  it was quite elegant we might say and had legs, as they say......  the only two things we would change about it is the final scene where keaton's character, riggan/birdmanny, seems to suicide out the window only to be able to fly, as it turns out......... also the two female thespians smooching gaily after a heavy emotional disturbance, for one of them..... that seemed wrong, apart from that, everything was spot on the money and either way, this movie was something

in contradistinction to the last movie we reviewed, the depp vehicle, which we didn't either bother to watch, before savaging, not unlike the new york times critic in birdman, regarding riggan's stage adaptation of his hollywood blockbuster action character, birdman.......... confusing........anyway, that's the difference between me and the new york times film critic: i don't approve of communist chinese kids that don't speak english getting a degree with high distinctions from some australian universities that have close programs with american universities........ that's why i'm driving a cab and they're making all kinds of dirty loot.......... guess that's the difference between good and evil

anyway, to reward birdman, we're inventing a new prize category: doody poopser or doody trooper.......all folks involved with birdman may award themselves either the one or the other award, feel free to have someone make one up for you and print it out, but you can only be a doody poopser or a doody trooper, so choose wisely..........

now you may think: oh the play in birdman isn't a Broadway readaptation of the movie, it's a play by some loser carver that nobodys even heard of, so you haven't been paying attention because i just said it was a readaptation of the Hollywood blockbuster birdman. Next time pay attention. Below is a pompous, unsympathetic review of birdman by a hermathrodite. You're either with birdman or the terrorists. The reviewer should be stripped of his us citizenship and be deported to sweeden via Guantanamo Bay and a healthy dose of kickarse should be served up to him there at aforementioned bay.

jolly o.



http://www.newyorker.com/culture/richard-brody/birdman-never-achieves-flight

random social commentary

hey all, an interesting article recently in washington post about some parents who were harrassed and bullied by child protective services for letting their kids, 6 and 10, walk a mile unsupervised. Just crazy, with so much mountain dew drinking white trailer trash in america and meth junkie parents, you'd think they would have their hands full of serious cases needing urgent attention. I'm against people interfering with parents in general, however when the parents are druggies, some limited intervention is definitely necessary at times. There are definitely cases, unfortunately, when children should absolutely be taken away from their parents, fortunately they are exceptions. Not least was the case of a Texan girl that was on doctor phil whose parents were torturing and raping her for years, just the most horrible case you can imagine. Needless to say CPS in Texas dropped the ball there.

Glen Beck, islamic terrorists issue. The guy hit the nail on the head when he mentioned "9th century" mentality. That's exactly right, the rest of the business amongst the mainstream media and Josh Ernest at the white house is just distracting, idiot semantics. The Europeans are going to see they'll want mass data surveillance such as the americans have at the moment, it's unclear whether they will implement it or no. That's a matter for the EU govt in Belgium. Seems like the cops in Belgium did a great job stopping the recent threat that arose there. Unfortunately, Fox news is taking a simplistic, childish and petty approach to it. They assume their listeners cannot swallow a stream of facts and statistics and therefore give us a simpleton sound bite or two in an attempt at fearmongering and inflaming. Naughty Fox News.

Mitt Romney, Johhny Depp. The leftist media. Went to a mormon baptism today with my son Alex after being invited to. Christian churches, mormon, catholic, etc, may seem extremely boring at times, and very dogmatic and fox news like with their limited talking points and unscientific approach. However, when you're responsible for taking care of a toddler, churches are great, your kid can run around in a space much bigger than your home, unless you're a millionaire or live at a resort or something. You can socialize with people who try to act decent at a minimum. They become relevant. Since Romney says he's running, i'd advize him to not feel demoralized by the lefty comedians over in LA who are a real bunch of bitches. This brings us to Johnny Depp, recently saw the hairstyle of his art dealer character of his latest movie and it's great soviet style hair, swept back nicely, i totally and heartily approve of that hairstyle. Of course, i wouldn't condascend to watch his movie, in all likelihood, as it would be like watching a movie from the 1950s: outdated, outmoded, irrelevant; unless it was a really classic movie from the 1950s which there aren't many of anyway. Or from any decade, really. Not real interested to watch a KKK rally either for that matter. Maybe try casting actors who don't have 90% + genes from northern europe. The definition of insanity is repeating the same mistake over and over again, as they say, so why not try something different! Won't be long before 50 years pass and people will look back at 95% per cent of today's movies as outmoded, outdated, irrelevant. Just as we consider most movies from the 50s and 60s (at least 95% of them, anyway).

We've decided Glen Beck's overdubs that he uses on every show should be as follows, for ever: instead of the english-accented lady saying: what you're about to hear is the fusion of entertainment and enlightenment, she should say: what you're about to hear is a load of sodding bollocks. Also the african singer who sings: 'what we want is love---uv---uv----uv--------uuuuuuuuuhhhhh   uvvvvvvv', sappily, during every show, instead that 'love' should be substituted for 'a job'.

Thanks and have a great weekend, take a hike.

zoot landers: renegade dutch neurosurgeon

Zoot Landers was born into a respectable Dutch family that had amassed a considerable amount of wealth developing and selling agricultural fertilizers on an industrial scale. From an early age he manifested an interest in science which evolved into an interest in the burgeoning science of neurology and neuro-science. He went to university in Rotterdam, majoring in medicine and neuroscience and wrote his Doctoral Thesis on related matters. His passion was real. However, he found that he couldn't indulge in the kind of experimentation he was interested in in Holland as it would be considered illegal. He wondered about Da Vinci, who had famously been among the forerunners of forensic pathologists, carrying out autopsies and disecting and bisecting the human frame, specifically to study the organs, muscular structure, etc. If only Zoot could perform the same kinds of autopsies on human brains. But not only on the dead, but on the living! In an age before the scanning and imaging made possible by the turn of the 21st century just 15 years gone by now, Zoot would need to rely on other methods to study the brain's responses to various scientifically controlled stimuli, and he would need brains, lots of brains.

He would have to go to Africa. He had contacts, a nation there, with oil and diamonds and soldiers and factions and machine guns, and best of all, lots and lots of corpses and refugees with brains, brains, brains!

Zoot looked at his watch as his plane started to accelerate on the runway, to take him from Schipol Airport to Nairobi. Jerk. The jet lunged forward, suddenly accelerating to 200 kph. Zoot stretched his feet out and thought about his father, now deceased, and his avid fondness for yachting. How he remembered his father reprimanding him: 'never let out your spinnakers a moment too soon or too late!' that summarized his father's teaching to him in life. The family business, spanning some four generations, from humble beginnings to an internationally floated multinational, did not interest Zoot. Only brains interested Zoot: pre-frontal cortexes, neurons, synapses. Memory. Olfactory functioning. Speech. Balance. All things neurology interested Zoot and nothing else did unless he could relate it back to neurology. Spinnakers. He remembered as a child, yachting with his father......bwaffffff...... the jet took off a few short seconds after Zoot's train of thought had begun. How quickly the brain worked, at the speed of electrical current, in fact. Zoot thought about the experiments he would do involving conscious recollection in the non-conscious. The comas he would induce on living subjects and the tests he would do on them to study their stimuli perception. He would be inserting fine metallic, conducting needles into open-air brains, whose skulls had been neatly sawed off.

"Launch!" his father would cry and Zoot and his fellow sailors would have to launch the yacht's spinnakers as it turned a buoy, heading into a down-wind. The challenge when sailing into the wind was to zig-zag back and forth into the wind, deflecting wind at minimal acute angles, or highly obtuse ones, depending on how you looked at it, trigonometric-ally. With a tail wind, the spinnaker would balloon into the air and the wind would catch it and not a moment could be wasted as Zoot's father was extremely pedantic and passionate about not wasting a precious moment of the gusting sea-winds. Whoof! The yacht would take off, just as Zoot's jet now zoomed higher and higher into the stratosphere. Some of his family owned and operated small planes however Zoot was most exposed to yachting, until he sequestered himself to pursue his interest with determination. Still, flying and yachting were not unpleasant activities to Zoot yet his mind was always on neurology. How many endorphins were released in indulging in reminiscing, and in the physicality of the current flight?

His mind went ahead to Nairobi. He must have order. He ran through his plans to arrive at his final destination. The contacts he would be meeting along the way, the logistics. The warehousing. The money, the bribes to be paid. The handlers to keep close. The handlers he could trust. Money talked Zoot surmised, and bullshit could only walk with the correct electrical impulses from the motor/balance section of the brain. Zoot napped.

Zoot sat back comfortably with a cocktail and a cigar in a pleasant and upscale outdoor bar in Nairobi, Kenya. He'd arrived only recently and now sat with his primary contact and handler.

"Zoot suits are all the rage here my friend. If you want to be hip, you should always wear a different one every day," Zoot's contact informed him.

Zoot disagreed. Casual, unostentatious, poor looking and functional attire, loose fitting and suited to the climate would serve him better he informed his interlocutor.

Days past and Zoot's long journey overland through breathtaking scenery, warzones, jungles and plains whirled by. Zoot was able to set up his home and practice as per prior arrangement, in an out of the way farmstead. He was joined by a lovely lady, a southern belle American woman, a whitey, to be sure. Bred from cotton farm owners from the 19th century. Her accent and turns of speech, Zoot found, were quite charming and not without appeal. She was considerable older than Zoot, by some eight years, Zoot being in his late twenties. She had been found guilty of medical malpractice in America and fled the law to Suriname near Venezuela and from there, Zoot recruited her from Holland via phone interviews and the like however they never met until a day earlier at the farmstead which Zoot had dubbed 'Zootland', erecting a hand painted sign to say so.

"I do declare, our first subject has arrived Mr Zoot, only but a moment ago," declared Miss Shelly to Zoot with her carefree heavy southern accent while she fussed around in Zoot's laboratory which had a hospital bed with straps as well as various paraphernalia normally found in surgeons' operating theaters. Miss Shelly scrubbed her hands and put plastic gloves on and fastened an apron.

"Don't get gloved up already, Missy Shelly," Zoot informed her, reminding himself again that she was about a third asian thanks to some vietnamese and chinese genes of hers, although it wasn't really perceptible to the eye. "You told me she's about to wake up, I need you to knock her out and keep her down for about two hours, render a paralytic also so that she's well paralyzed from the neck down for the next six hours and so that only her mouth can move.... I want to talk to her after we've opened up her skull and see what I can get out of her."

Miss Shelly, prior to that request from Zoot, had explained that the local villagers had brought the subject as she was considered dangerous and possessed of the devil, although the story that came out made it seem she was involved in a jealous lovers triangle and there was some reason to her madness.

"Whaddaya have in mind Zoot?" Miss Shelly asked, with her funny accent.

"First of all I want to try out an pseudo-acupuncture technique on the pre-frontal cortex, also I've prepared some patches for you to administer to her biceps, they'll release a hormone which should affect some changes to her hippocampus which i'm interested to study. Make sure she's lucid after two hours but paralyzed except for her lips. Shave her head and buckle her down right here in this seat, we'll get her sitting down the whole time. Then get scrubbed up and join me."

"You're not gonna put that funny euro-pop music on while we operate, are you?" Miss Shelly asked disapprovingly.

"Whenever the patient's male, you can put the music on you like," Zoot responded and went for his cranium cutting saw.

Zoot grabbed his cranium cutting saw and gave it a whirl with panache, he was very comfortable wielding that instrument, and experienced, of course. He was starting to feel happy and excited about the upcoming experiment. He picked up a fact sheet that had info about the patient. Her name was Umbatu. On all the blank fact sheets he'd had printed out, the section for english language skills only showed one box, which was automatically checked, it read: pigeon. Thus:  english language skills: Pigeon X. Other languages had option such as Swahili: advanced, intermediate, basic, and the boxes beside the competencies levels were left blank, for Shelly to fill in. However, it was assumed everyone's english language skills were pigeon english level, so the box there was always checked automatically.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCuTrfTfGd0

Zoot proceeded to listen to his europop music and his assistant Miss Shelly went ahead and conformed with his instructions. Umbatu had been paralyzed and  her head shaved and her skull top removed. Her brain was exposed to the air and Zoot was on standby with his needles and electric currents and dials and what not. Her mouth was left un-numbed but most of the rest of her body was numbed up.

"Help me, oh Jesus, please help me! Save me from this devil!" Umbatu cried suddenly. Miss Shelly began to turn really white in the face, as in, all the blood and color just drained away. Miss Shelly wasn't particularly religious but had done some Sunday schooling and was freaking out. "Help me Jesus, save me, save me!" shrieked Umbatu. Miss Shelly was really affected by it, but Zoot was not so affected.

"What's wrong Umbatu?" Zoot asked.

"Help! Help! Save me Jesus!" cried Umbatu still more imploringly. Miss Shelly began to have a panic attack and had to sit down.

"Oh God, we need to help her Zoot! She wants help, what do we do?" Miss Shelly asked Zoot in a panic.

"Get her a picture of Jesus, there's a bible on the shelf over there, there's a picture of Jesus inside the front cover." Zoot said to Miss Shelly, indicating a stand in the corner.

Miss Shelly did that and the two noticed that Umbatu focused her eyes on the picture but just started crying anyway, like tears were rolling down her face. She kept on screaming and crying for Jesus. Like she was freaking out. There weren't any mirrors so she wouldn't have seen or felt that her skull cap had been removed and her brains were exposed to the air.

Miss Shelly fished around for some tissues, then heard a strange noise and looked up and saw Zoot was staggering and had his hands towards his throat, there was blood there too.

"Don't move Zoot!" Miss Shelly had found her calmness at last. "Don't move, Umbatu has just slammed a long metallic incisor through your throat sideways."

Zoot did as he was told but at the same time he was starting to choke, he couldn't breath. The incisor went clean through his larynx. Miss Shelly quickly looked for a plastic, malleable airway pipe she could insert down Zoot's throat, in order to help him breath, her panic was replaced by calm.

Zoot was able to take some labored breaths after that but the long silver scalpel was well and truly rammed clean through his throat horizontally, from one end, protruding out of the other. Miss Shelly quickly jammed a syringe into Umbatu to knock her out so she couldn't fuss anymore. She proceeded to ease Zoot towards a spare operating table and got him to edge himself onto it, this isn't how she imagined going to bed with him would be like. She stuck a milder tranquilizing shot into him too and proceeded to study the situation with his larynx. She would have to operate, fast.

back in the day in paris

hey clowns.... probably a strange moment to relive life in paris, with all this hubbub going on there..... turns out one of the terrorists buddies that killed the policewoman on thursday is now holed up with his french girlfriend in a jewish kosher shop with more victims at gunpoint....... also the two original terrorist guys are holed up near the airport and are looking to get shot as opposed to spend life in jail, possibly with another hostage there too......these last two terrorists let some people go free and alive, to the joy of their families, saying they don't kill women or whatever...... the black guy that shot the policewoman clearly kills women and was possibly the third guy with the two guys on the first day............

anyway, it's still in progress and sux.........lying down to sleep after a full work week, for a miserly 3 hours of sleep or so before it's time to wake up again, was just remembering some things about the paltry half year spent in paris, i suppose, looking back, there was a lot jammed in to that time

for starters, i was dating some algerian girl for a while.... i'd forgotten all about it but i guessed we french kissed one time and she said to me: 'ca c'est le francais'........ i guess as an ossie-spaniard, everyone there that could speak french looked french to me and i didn't know much about the history of algeria and stuff, remembering now, while listening to charlie's winning song, (we didn't have it then in those days, instead i listened to pit baccardi a lot, a french african rapper), the algerian girl explained some about the war there, i guess i knew a bit about the french revolution and french colonies and stuff but didn't really care about it as i just wanted to be rich and famous like many people of my generation......... the algerian girl was a good kisser but insisted i give her 50 euros to get a taxi home from my crib in porte maillot so i had to say no to her and cut the date short so i never got into her pants like that

on another date, i went with some smoking hot french girl, like 19, an absolute firecracker, she wouldn't let me kiss her, we saw that johnny depp movie with the jack the ripper or whatever.........

actually my skin was always dehydrating once i moved to my own crib and i was having to moisturize it or scratch til i bled, often both, daily..........this possibly became worse after meeting the american movie acting teacher guy that taught christopher walken and angelina jolie and all that shit, hopefully not a paedo........ none of this shit is in chronological, another time my buddy from virginia flew over with his military family on a u.s. army flight and we chowed down, i got laid the night before with some german woman like 30, possibly married lady........ she was the only ho i bedded there but not for lack of opportunities, some hot looking irish woman like 25 just plum came up to me at the hostel i was staying at in bastille when i first got there from virginia and told me she wanted to have sex with me and was on the pill and would be all juicy......... i hid away from her.... i was too conservative..............

i used to hang out in those early bastille days with a posse of 20 year old kids, i was like 25, they were all ethnic frenchies but that's quite an ethnic mix as you don't know what kind of blood is there, especially since napoleon's time......... i would say the french have assimilated other races there, from outside european history, very well..........i also found the french to be respectful, serious people, a little too addicted to pleasure and sensations and comforts perhaps, but such is life for a great many people, although not for terrorists......... we'd smoke weed and drink some piches of wine........i was exceedingly sparing in my use of hashish in paris and would just use it a little to fire my imagination a little, but mostly my objective senses were overwhelmed with the reality there........ i needed to learn the language quickly, des alummettes, matches.......for cigarrettes........then on day two or three i landed a job from a white pages phone book at a phone booth, smart phones not being in existence in those days, which i kept til the end......... ahh there were so many adventures there, flying off to jerusalem for a long weekend too......... my texan landlady and her smoking hot daughter, even her momma the landlady was hot.........

the food in france is real good too.......

anyway, got to sleepy poops........never realized how eventful those scarce few months were...... i haven't mentioned dating eloise either, from lyons.........what a jolie fille she was....... just another 20 year old associated with afore-mentioned posse...... i think she was having some kind of lesbian fling with some other girl, not so hot, i guess i could have moved in on her separate or jumped in bed with both of them, who knows? anyway she had real purdy hazel eyes and was real purdy in general, hella purdy.......... shoot i went to paris when i was 16 on my own one time, when i was living in madrid....... i was unhappy in those days though.......but reasonably happy there as a 25 year old.......

a lot of my students there were real interesting too........ one of them was film critic for le monde -- a real newspaper, not like charlie hepto which prints 45,000 copies (el zilcho) and is a bunch of crap..........

anyway, more later.........vive le france bitches, and charlie

oh yeah the girl at the bakery was a real cutie too, probably algerian too, come to think of it

benji's 2 cents

what the hell is going on right? the french are all holding up signs saying: 'jesus charlie' and there are even billboards all over france saying the same thing........ there's been some kind of terror attack there that has completely overshadowed the fact that cameron diaz has tied the knot and no-one seems to care!

who can forget diaz's roles in movies like the mask, there's something about mary and, well, you know, her other movies like, hey dude um! or something

anyhoo...... here we go again, big bad moslems........let me tell you, i live in a moslem neighborhood, my 22 month old kid goes to a daycare centre twice a week run by moslems..........there was even a question in the enrolment form: can we teach your kid about mohammed.......... one of my friends joked that he'll end up becoming a suicide bomber which made me laugh very heartily........... but did you know the cop that was mercilessly gunned down by these terrorists while he was holding up his hand for mercy was a moslem? so moslems are so disaffected in europe there aren't even moslem cops? well there are in france, and one of them was killed by these terrorists, so the black and white token throwaway remarks by idiot pundits made between doses of sugar and fructose from the supermarket, keep them to yourself..........and btw, no, we are not moslems in my family, neither is my kid a moslem but i'm happy for moslems and christians to supervise him, which they do on sunday mondays and tuesday, so long as they aren't perverts.......and let's be frank, when it comes to sex scandals, christians are the ones you should be worried about: perverts everywhere...... the problem with moslems in the area of sex is to do with chronic inbreeding due to marriages between first cousins which is a problem they will have to address or face ruin..........

people all over france are holding up signs that say: jesus charlie! they really are!

glen beck......... mumbles some idiot nonsense about islam being the only religion that sponsors violence........so the business with the inquisition in spain in order to convert jews and moslems to christianity wasn't violent? the crusades weren't violent? the pentagon didn't supply soldiers in iraq with machine guns engraved with biblical verses? how about anders brevik, he was a buddhist terrorist? come on glenny boy................but glen beck, despite being sometimes moronic, did throw a spanner in the works: kate couric buddied up with the scandalous epstein (of prince andrew scandal fame)......... our kate? really? didn't she practically walk on water? say you didn't do anything unethical kate, please get back to me, i'm your biggest fan, come on kate (bottle of red, bottle of white, it all depends upon your appetite!)..........you, me, slow dancing, julio iglesias' 'moonlight lady' playing in the background, cheek to cheek......say it ain't so kate....... and if beck mentions bill clinton was friends with epstein, well who cares, we don't expect that much from bill anyway

bush for president 2017!

jesus charlie!

movie review: night crawler

this movie is funny because gyllenthal is naturally a funny guy. Juxtaposing his two love interests in Brokeback mountain and nightcrawler is funny. Anyway the icing on the cake of this movie is how the two vans branch of in different directions as bloom expands his dodgy empire. Someone should give gyllanthal a pet kitten to take care of, he looks like he could use one. Maybe call it fluffy.