sick

woke up yesterday with some kind of sore throat from the day before in katoomba where it was very cold, this exacerbated a lot in my job, driving cab, last night so that things got a lot worse and i became really sick...

so i took the day off work today and spent most of the day in bed feeling weakened and headachy and generally very sick..... i think around 4pm during a sleeping stint, a sweat broke out and all my clothes seemed wet with sweat......

spending most of the day sleeping, or in a stage between sleep and wake and also feeling very weak kind of reminded me of death, also my state of mind during any patch i could remember was disorienting and kind of weird..... difficult to explain..... all associated with feeling extremely sick.... of course, never went to work, but hoping to go to work tomorrow as don't get any sick pay

had some negative interactions with the thing i married for better or worse, most likely worse........ don't know that we are happy together or happy period

with this kind of lifestyle, driving 12 hour shifts, four times a week, and getting used to getting by on 3 hours sleep only or 5..... it's no wonder some kind of breakdown occurs...... and no wonder i can sleep the entire day long...........what's funny, i recall when the thing i married's mother was here (living in my house thanks to soviet marxist principles) i remember sleeping in a lot, getting much more sleep than i normally would.......some days i never bothered spending time with my son in those days, earlier this year, jan/feb/march...... because it would mean having to interact with the thing i married's mother and her soviet bolshevik marxist principles of realloting my property to herself so i just preferred to avoid her which meant i never saw my son which meant i'd just sleep in and enjoy the unusual extra hours of sleep...........

funny to say, it was a nirvana, bliss like state, those extra lie-ins, what a pure nirvana it was to just lie there, in blissful sleep........ this was the very opposite of my experience today which was troublesome due to feeling extremely sick

no wonder Souls end up leaving their families, parents, wives, children, etc, for Death........ who could stand to be around their wife any longer?

my buddy Sergei, from queensland, and siberia before that, he's a russian, actually he's in hawaii temporarily these days, but he sent me a link to google drive nat geo 'polygamy usa' video, about mormon polygamy groups, so watching that now........... would have been happy to die today, in  my sleep! but i think once my health gets back to normal i'll be just as happy to live

that was an interesting nat geo special on mormons...... would have been good to see more of the story of the kid that was dating girl from outside the community/monogamous parents.........

now watching a movie Sergei sent about a month ago: the quiet ones (2014) - -horror genre

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2235779/?ref_=nv_sr_1