Kate couric reports on wave of copycat killings inspired by new Taylor Swift album

Taylor, I'm sure you're aware of the statistics: Tuesday marked the 100,000th feline killing. It's become an epidemic. People are saying you're a monster.

Kate, come on. Twenty scientists with PhDs have proven all these copycat killings were undertaken (no pun intended) by autistic teenage boys, and some lonely Chinese kids trying to fit I'm

One report said one Chinese kid was just hungry and didn't know how to use a can opener

There you go!

But Taylor, was this the reaction you wanted to your title track: 'slay my pussy'

No! I never thought one avant garde autistic kid would take it so literally and then there'd be all these copycat killings. I blame my songwriter for his melodic chord progressions

You don't think killer beats are to blame?

No that would just be presumptuous. Actually I was joking about the chord progressions. This just has to stop OK? (Looks at camera) stop killing your cats crazy autistic kids and lonely Chinese exchange students: this is unamerican. I feel sick, please stop uploading your videos of lawnmowers executing cats. Cat hangings. Starving cats. Raining cats on pavements. Baseball cats. It's disturbing!

One wood kitten driving range is trending now on Instagram Miss Swift.
Actually it could be just what our military needs... A new generation of hardened killers

Oh my God Kate