Cueing todays music, it's difficult to understand if Rhianna wasn't writing this song about me, why not? Mysterious....
https://youtu.be/lWA2pjMjpBs
His mission, should he choose it....
1) only get around in motor vehicles with St George Diamond on front passenger door. Try hiring cabbie at $40 or $50 per hour, don't be niggardly
2) only say 'me' or 'mi' as the Spanish when using personal possessive pronoun 'my
3) tell everyone 'mi name's Warren' 'im from the bush aye?' with an Australian accent. Say you're aboriginal
4) dress like a gromit or hick
5) note any unsolicited sightings of images of George W Bush, ie, photo in newspaper. Or of UFOs
Do not include sightings of representationsvof GWB like the actor playing him in the Oliver Stone movie, just interviews, photos. Your notes of figurative representations of UFOs, ie in books and movies may be included in green ink only, different to your normal ink colour
6) if you see a UFO yell at them your talent is too lofty and they're unworthy of it (wear a Bluetooth or the like so it looks like you're on the phone, no-one will think you're crazy) do not do this for any UFOs on tv or the like, only actual UFOs in the sky clear and visible 'live', say it like you mean it
7) if you see Russell Crowe only talk to him if he's driving a Pajero (Mitsubishi) and you're in your diamond George ride (you shouldn't be in any other motor vehicle anyway although you can still do this from a pushbike or the like ....in that case, tell him his ride is appropriate given he's a wanker and Pajero is Spanish for wanker. Only if he's clearly within earshot
8) ask people where you can score hammer and flagon, if an uncover narcotic detective challenges you tell them you're American and have a right to bear arms, heroin is a weapon. If that doesn't work tell them you're Mark Wahlberg researching a character, they'll probably invite you home as a guest of honour
9) tell scantily clad women to put some clothes on and not be a skanky ho, annote any notable reactions
10) make notes of your adventures and new friends you make
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